noreins

A Land Down Under

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:56:48 GMT

Hey friends

Just thought I'd give you a wee update about what's going on with me...not least 'cos I'm super-excited and have to share it with as many people as possible.

You see, this coming Saturday I'm off on a four week holiday to Australia, a whopping 10,500 miles from home!!! It's a trip I've wanted to do for years and it's been a long time coming, since we started to book things almost six months ago. But it's nearly here now...

We're flying from London to Sydney, via Abu Dhabi, having a night in Sydney to acclimatise and start to get over the jet lag (hopefully) then flying up to northern Queensland for a week of Great Barrier Reef and rainforest exploring from Port Douglas. Among the many exciting things we have planned for that week, we're doing a sunrise hot air balloon trip over the rainforest on my birthday followed by a champagne breakfast

We're staying in two different places in Port Douglas - the first is right in the heart of the town, and the second is a beach resort a few kilometres to the south, where we'll be staying in a bungalow in the rainforest!

Thala Beach Lodge Jungle Walk Bungalow

Thala Beach Lodge Jungle Walk Bungalow

Nice, huh?

The second week, we're heading down to the Brisbane area, spending a few days on North Stradbroke Island (Straddie) before visiting relatives in Brisbane itself. We're going sea fishing one day (something I've never done before) and we're also going to go to Australia Zoo to see the crocs that the late Steve Irwin did so much work with. I was a big fan of his, so I'm really looking forward to visiting somewhere that meant so much to him and his family.

Next up is a few days in the Blue Mountains near Sydney with a friend who emigrated to Oz from Scotland a year or so ago and his Aussie fiancee. We've got a cabin in the middle of nowhere with a huge veranda and a barbecue, and fabulous views of the mountains so we should be able to get in some serious R&R prior to our last week.

Blue Mountains Cabin

Our final week is in an apartment in Sydney, near Rushcutter's Bay for anyone who is familiar with the city. We don't have any trips or activities booked for that week, but I do have about a thousand things marked in my Rough Guide so I would imagine we'll be pretty busy

So yeah...that's what I'm up to, and that's where I'll be over the next month or so

To all the authors out there whose stories I'm reading...I haven't abandoned you, honest. I just don't see myself getting any internet time while I'm away so I'll need to catch up once I'm back. And, you never know, all that time in the air (8 hours from London to Abu Dhabi and 15 from Abu Dhabi to Sydney ) might give me some time to think of something new to write...

Anyway, take care of yourselves, and I look forward to screeds and screeds of reading when I get back (hint, hint!)

Love
Lindsey

Happy Birthday, Em!

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:10:04 GMT

Many happy returns to my wonderful friend and beta smiles_a_lot

Hope you like my choice of birthday presents, bud...

No Matter What - An Interlude

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 06:10:55 GMT

Title: No Matter What - An Interlude
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Thanks To: smiles_a_lot for the super-fast beta job.

Author's Note: This little interlude popped into my head a couple of weeks ago and wouldn't leave, so I figured I'd better just write it. It's dedicated to my evil twin, mississaugared. Happy Birthday, bud!

After several months of filling in when other presenters were sick or on holiday, Ennis finally got his own show in the summer. The one hour slot in the middle of the afternoon afforded him the luxury of free evenings, which he and Jack had no trouble filling. But Jack knew that, deep down, Ennis felt stifled by the station’s requirement that he play the latest chart music and he hoped it wouldn’t be long before the powers that be at DFM gave Ennis the opportunity to stamp his personality on a show. So when Ennis received an early Christmas gift from the station, in the form of a daily, two-hour show from 8pm till ten, Jack took him out for a slap up meal to celebrate and hid his disappointment at once more having to spend his evenings alone, happy that Ennis was finally achieving his dream.

For the first few weeks, he contented himself with stretching out on the sofa each night, Barça curled up at his side and Ennis’s soft Irish lilt caressing him across the airwaves as he read or surfed the internet, knowing that Ennis would lavish attention and affection on him as soon as the younger man returned home. But, after a while, Ennis began to bring his work home, spending hours listening to demo tapes and CDs in the search for new and exciting music to share with his audience and Jack found himself becoming increasingly annoyed by Ennis’s lack of interest in anything other than the show.

Finally, just before Easter, Ennis spent a whole weekend plugged in to their stereo system, rushing through meals to get back to his task and consistently failing to respond when he was spoken to. By midway through the Sunday, Jack’d had enough and he allowed his frustration to bubble over, wrenching Ennis’s headphones out of the socket and standing over his man, hands on hips.

Ennis looked up indignantly. "What’re you doing, Jack?"

"Oh, so you do remember who I am," he replied sarcastically. "I was beginning to think you’d forgotten."

"What are you talking about?" Ennis asked, frowning.

"Oh come on, Ennis. You spend more time at the studio or listening to music here than you do talking...or doing anything else...with me these days. We haven’t even had sex for more than a week. It’s not right."

Ennis regarded him for a moment then gave a resigned sigh. "I know. But this show...it’s a real opportunity for me and I need to make a good impression if I ever want to move on from local radio. I thought you understood, Jack. After all, it was you who suggested presenting to me in the first place."

"Yeah, I know," Jack replied ruefully, joining Ennis on the floor. "And I do understand. Hell, I’m proud of you, you know that. But it feels like you’re shutting me out of a part of your life, between the extra hours you put in at the station and the time you spend with your headphones on here."

Ennis bit his lip. "Shit, Jack, I didn’t mean to. But what else can I do? If I want to make my show stand out from the rest, I have to keep searching for fresh music to play. And that takes time."

"You’re right. But maybe...maybe, instead of you hiding away in a corner with your headphones on, we could listen together? It might help to have another opinion," Jack said, glancing sideways at Ennis. "Unless you think I’m too old to have an opinion on exciting music, of course," he added with a mischievous wink.

"That would be good," Ennis agreed. "Although you’re maybe a little old," he joked, reaching over to ruffle Jack’s hair.

"Shithead," Jack replied, turning his head to kiss Ennis’s palm. "But, you know, if I’m going to help you choose music for your show, maybe you should let me meet some of your colleagues, too, so I can learn more about the way shows are put together. We could have them round for drinks or a meal."

Ennis drew back and shook his head quickly. "No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I want to keep this place just for us, Jack."

"Why? They know you’re gay, don’t they? And they know about me?"

"Yeah, they know," Ennis answered. "But...I don’t know...I just don’t want folks prying into our private life. They’re just colleagues. I don’t want them seeing our bedroom or finding bottles of lube round the house. That’s personal, you know?"

Jack rolled his eyes and laughed. "Well, I don’t think they’d go looking for bottles of lube, baby, but okay. If that’s how you feel, we don’t need to invite them round. I’d still like to meet them at some point, though."

"Well...tell you what," Ennis suggested. "Why don’t you come over to the station some night after work instead? I’ll give you a tour and introduce you to whoever’s around then maybe you can watch me do my show. How does that sound?"

"It sounds great," Jack replied. "I’d love to see you do your stuff."

Ennis got to his feet. "Well, I’ll need to check with my producer, but hopefully it’ll be okay." He helped Jack up then pulled the older man close. "Right now, though, I can think of some other stuff you can watch me do. The sort of stuff I don’t need a producer for."

Jack grinned and followed Ennis towards the stairs. "Now that definitely sounds great."

***

As soon as he finished work on Tuesday night, Jack changed into jeans and a t-shirt then drove across town to the radio station, smiling broadly when he saw Ennis waiting for him at the entrance.

"Hey, baby," he murmured, brushing his lips across Ennis’s.

Ennis smiled. "Hey, yourself. Busy day?"

"Not really," he replied. "I had a couple of meetings, but they weren’t too stressful so I’m all set for my tour."

"Well then, let’s get you a visitor pass and get on with it," Ennis said. "We’ve got about an hour before I need to head to the studio for the show."

Jack followed Ennis into the foyer and waited while Ennis organised the pass. When Ennis handed him the laminated badge, he spoke softly. "You’re not going to send me home when your show starts, are you? I’d really like to watch you do your thing. I promise I’ll be quiet."

Ennis raised an eyebrow. "You haven’t been quiet for two hours in all the time I’ve known you!"

He opened his mouth to protest but then noticed Ennis was fighting to keep a straight face. With a chuckle, he punched Ennis’s arm lightly instead.

Ennis laughed. "Of course I’m not going to send you home before the show, dummy. I checked with my producer and he’s happy for you to sit in with me, as long as you’re good and don’t disturb me."

He smiled sweetly, taking Ennis’s hand. "I’m always good. You should know that by now."

***

For the next hour and a quarter, Ennis gave Jack an extensive tour of the station, showing his partner round the various studios and production offices. He stumbled over his words the first time he had to introduce Jack to a colleague, his mumbled "this is my…uh…Jack" eliciting some gentle teasing from the man in question. Soon, though, he was happy to tell anyone who would listen that the handsome man at his side was his partner for life and he could tell from Jack’s broad grin that the older man recognised and appreciated the pride in his voice.

Towards the end of the tour, he took Jack down to the basement and unlocked the door to the station’s music library. "Most of the music played on the station is fairly commercial…you know, chart music, new releases by well known bands and recent albums…and that lives in a smaller room upstairs, so that it’s easily accessible," he told a clearly awestruck Jack. "But, on shows like mine, we can get away with playing older tracks and demos by new bands along with the more recognisable stuff, so I spend a lot of time down here. It gets pretty lonely, though…and cold, too…which is why I bring CDs home to listen to."

Jack nodded sagely then moved closer. "I understand. But it’s not so lonely now, is it?" the older man murmured as Ennis felt teeth grazing his neck and a hand pushing against his crotch in an obvious attempt to get him riled up before his show. So that’s how he wants to play it, eh? Well, two can play that game

Smiling over Jack’s shoulder, he braced his back against the wall, traced his hands down Jack’s spine and slid them into jeans pockets, cupping Jack’s cheeks through the denim and squeezing hard. "No, not so lonely," he rasped, claiming Jack’s mouth and kissing the breath out of his man. As they kissed, he rubbed his thigh roughly against Jack’s erection, teasing and tantalising and steadfastly avoiding all attempts by the older man to bring their dicks together.

Finally, he heard a muttered curse and felt Jack pull away sharply, his partner’s eyes dropping to a tell tale wet patch on light denim.

"Bastard," Jack grumbled. "If you were going to make me come in my jeans, the least you could have done is come with me."

He grinned. "What? And have to present my show in sticky underwear? I don’t think so."

"But I’m going to have to sit in these for the next two hours!"

"Yep," he chuckled. "Serves you right for starting something you couldn’t finish. Now come on, or I’m going to be late for my show." He turned and headed out of the door then waited while Jack tugged his t-shirt out of his jeans in an attempt to cover the evidence. When Jack finally followed him out of the room, he felt the warm puff of Jack’s breath against his cheek and heard a whispered vow.

"I’ll get you back for that."

***

Ninety minutes later, with Ennis in full flight on the microphone, Jack got up from the seat Ennis had allocated him at the side of the main presenter’s desk and stretched his legs, then wandered slowly round the studio, looking at the various pictures, newspaper articles and awards pinned to the walls. He felt Ennis’s eyes on his back, following his every step, and he smiled to himself, knowing that Ennis had every right to be suspicious. Casting a glance at the clock, then another through the window to Ennis’s producer, he decided the time was right. He turned and made his way slowly towards Ennis, undressing the younger man with his eyes and making absolutely sure Ennis knew he was doing it. He watched Ennis’s face for a moment, smirking as Ennis’s cheeks turned pink, then lowered his gaze, licking his lips when he took note of the growing bulge at Ennis’s crotch.

Placing a hand on the desk beside Ennis, he leant over until their foreheads were mere millimetres apart. "Time for revenge," he breathed.

Before Ennis had a chance to respond, he slid down beside the younger man’s chair and crawled under the desk. Without preamble, he yanked the zip of Ennis’s jeans down then reached inside and fished Ennis’s dick out through the slit in his man’s boxers. Swatting away Ennis’s hands, he stuck his tongue out and licked the underside before closing his lips round the tip.

"Jesus, Jack," Ennis gasped. "Don’t..."

"Don’t what, Ennis?" he asked softly, keeping Ennis’s dick in his mouth.

"Don’t...I have to...I mean...the record is nearly...uh...finished."

Patting Ennis on the knee, he sucked hard. "Well, you go right ahead and do your show. Don’t mind me."

"But I...oh god..."

As he swirled his tongue round the crown and let it fall into the slit, he felt Ennis shift slightly and heard a switch being clicked before the younger man’s voice reverberated shakily round the room, clearly back on air.

"Okay, that was one of Ireland’s finest bands, U2, with their...uh...their m...massive hit Beautiful Day and it has indeed been a...ahhhh...beautiful day here today. One of those...those days when you feel like you own the world and…mmmm…nothing is wrong. And there’s certainly n…nothing wrong with this next track, which is fo…oh god…for all you sex…I mean sax fiends out there. This is Bruce Springsteen’s Drive All Night, from his album The River."

After the first few notes of the song played, he glanced up as he felt Ennis melt back into the chair, the younger man’s hips thrusting involuntarily forward. But then he heard a knock on the window between studio and production room and the intercom crackled into life.

"Ennis, are you alright?"

Ennis swallowed hard then cleared his throat. "Yeah, Rich, I’m fine."

Not wanting to get Ennis into trouble, he put his ministrations on hold as what was obviously Ennis’s producer spoke again.

"Are you sure? You seem kind of distracted."

"Yeah, I’m sure," Ennis answered. "I just…I felt a bit queasy for a minute, like I was going to throw up. But I’m fine now, honestly."

"Well, okay, if you’re sure. Where’s Jack, by the way? I thought he was staying for the whole show?"

Sensing the threat of discovery had passed, he pushed one hand into Ennis’s open fly and rubbed his partner’s balls gently.

Ennis groaned. "Mmmm yeah…yeah, he is. He just…uh…he went to the toilet. He…he’ll be back soon."

With a final "okay" from the other room, the intercom fell silent and he waited a beat until Ennis relaxed once more before taking the younger man in as deep as he could. He hummed softly along to The Boss as he sucked, varying his tempo in time to the music, ignoring Ennis’s urging hand on the back of his head, determined to draw the blow job out for as long as possible. As the sax ebbed and flowed, he alternated between hard sucks and tiny nibbles, his fingertips tracing every shift in the tension in Ennis’s balls, but he eased off a little when he realised the song was drawing to an end, certain that Ennis would not appreciate coming live on air.

In a strained voice, Ennis spoke to the audience again, telling them that the song they’d just heard was the trigger song for a competition to win tickets to Springsteen’s summer concert in London then asking that day’s question and giving the details of what to do with competition entries. While Ennis continued with the show, he suckled gently on the man’s dick, causing Ennis to intermingle his words with stutters and gasps, their increasing frequency telling him that Ennis was getting close to the edge. He could feel his own climax fast approaching just from the thrill of what he was doing to his partner so Ennis’s next, strangled, words were as much of a relief to him as they surely were to Ennis.

"I’ll be b…back in a few…aaah…minutes with a ve…very special dedication but n…oh..ow it’s time for the n…nine thirty news with Roy Taylor."

As soon as the news jingle started, he felt Ennis’s dick slam into the back of his throat and he sucked hungrily, bringing Ennis to orgasm in less than thirty seconds, his own release spilling out into his jeans for the second time in two hours. Resting his head against Ennis’s leg as he came down from his high, he licked Ennis’s dick clean then tucked it carefully back inside the younger man’s jeans and fastened the zip. When he was done, he squeezed Ennis’s knee. "Revenge is sweet," he whispered.

***

A couple of minutes later, with Jack back in his seat, and Rich none the wiser about where Jack had been or what he’d been doing, Ennis took a deep breath to compose himself, smiled through the glass at his producer then clicked his microphone on.

"Alright folks, you’re back with Ennis del Mar on DFM 106.3. Sorry for getting a bit distracted before the news but someone in the studio was sucking m…um…sucking a sweetie and I…um…I thought maybe he was going to choke so I had to…um…watch him carefully." He shot a glance at Jack, rolling his eyes and blushing as his man gazed back at him innocently, lips still shiny from Ennis’s come. Clearing his throat, he went on. "But everything’s fine now so let’s get right back to the music with a very special birthday request. As some of you may know, you can now listen to DFM on the internet and, in the last few weeks, we’ve received emails from listeners as far afield as Germany and Spain. But the other day we got a message from a listener in Scotland telling us that a friend of hers had tuned in from Toronto, Canada…almost 4000 miles away! Can you believe that? So, this one is for Elizabeth, with love and best wishes for a very happy birthday from me and everyone else in the studio. This is one of her favourite songs, by an Ontario band called Finger Eleven. This is One Thing."

He waited until the song was underway before scooting his chair close to Jack’s and kissing the other man hard, tasting himself on Jack’s lips, not caring whether or not Rich was watching. He let the kiss last for a moment then pulled away reluctantly, knowing he had to be professional and finish the show. As he drew back, Jack tried to follow his lips and he put a hand on the older man’s chest to push him gently away, shaking his head.

Turning back to the microphone, he murmured one last word before switching it on.

"Later."

No Matter What - Chapter 24

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:01:36 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 24
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. I couldn't do this without your help, guidance and friendship.

Author's Note: I saw Brokeback Mountain for the first time three years ago today. Jack and Ennis pushed their way into my heart that night and I'm delighted to say they're still there. I'm glad so many others feel the same and I'm glad there are still so many great authors out there trying to give Jack and Ennis their sweet life. I guess this is a fitting day to post this chapter...

The prosecutor stood up wearily. "Mr. Keane, can you tell the court what time you arrived at Mr. Connolly’s house?" he asked.

"About twenty past eleven," the witness answered. "My boss told me to take one of the cars so I’d get there as quickly as possible."

"And he let you in straight away?"

"Yes."

The prosecutor nodded. "How long did it take you to get the information you required from Mr. Connolly?"

The witness shrugged. "Not long at all. He was very clear about what he’d seen and heard, at least until I started feeding him whiskey and putting doubts in his mind."

"So how long? Ten minutes? Twenty? Forty?"

The witness leaned back and smiled, clearly realising the prosecutor was trying to get him to contradict the timescales Ennis had given during his testimony. "It took about fifteen minutes for him to give me the details, then about twenty more for him to get tipsy enough to agree with my alternative story." He paused and eyed the prosecutor smugly. "So he called the Gards just before midnight, a detail I’m sure they could confirm if you were to ask them."

"Thank you," the prosecutor replied with obviously fake nonchalance. "Now, you said you saw the defendant approach Mr. del Mar’s house while Mr. Connolly was on the phone?"

"Yes, that’s right."

"And you’re absolutely sure Mr. Twist didn’t go into the house?"

The witness nodded. "I’m sure."

"How long did he spend in the garden?" the prosecutor probed.

"He didn’t go into the garden, either," the witness answered with a long suffering sigh. "He just came to the gate, picked up his jacket, then left again...exactly like I told Mr. Taylor."

"And do you know when Mr. Twist left his jacket there in the first place?"

The witness looked surprised. "Only from what’s been said during this trial," he replied warily.

"Indeed. So you have no personal knowledge of how long the jacket had been there?"

"No."

The prosecutor tilted his head to the side. "So is it possible that the jacket had only been there for an hour or so, dropped by Mr. Twist as he fled from the scene of his crime?"

"Objection!" Jamie said loudly. "The witness has already stated that he doesn’t know how long Mr. Twist’s jacket had been there."

"But that’s exactly the point I’m making," the prosecutor retorted. "If the witness didn’t see the jacket being dropped, then he has no way of knowing how much time had passed since Mr. Twist was last at Mr. del Mar’s house. And therefore, by extension, he can’t say for certain that Mr. Twist wasn’t at the house at the time the murder was committed."

The judge frowned but eventually nodded. "All right, I’ll allow it. Objection overruled."

Smiling, the prosecutor turned back to the witness. "Mr. Keane?"

"I suppose it’s possible," the witness conceded. "But..."

"Thank you, Mr. Keane," the prosecutor interrupted. "No further questions."

***

As the prosecutor made his way back to his seat, the judge turned to Jamie. "Mr. Taylor, please call your next witness."

Jamie remained seated, biting his lip, his turmoil over whether or not to put Jack on the stand finally resolved by the prosecutor’s lack of any notable success with Mick Keane. Shaking his head, he spoke quietly, trying to conceal his nerves. "I have no more witnesses. The defence rests, Your Honour."

***

Twenty minutes later the prosecutor was back on his feet once more to give his closing argument. He made a passable attempt to appear convincing but it seemed clear from the man’s rigid stance and flat tone that he no longer believed his case would be successful, despite his bravado. In contrast, Jamie was animated and upbeat during his summary, exuding confidence that Jack would soon be a free man and leaving no-one in any doubt that he believed acquittal was the only possible outcome of the trial.

When the judge sent the jury out to consider their verdict, Jamie turned to look at his client and was rewarded with a cautiously optimistic smile, Jack’s eyes showing clear signs of relief as the Gards led him away to one of the court’s holding cells.

During the jury’s absence, Jamie took Paul, Sinead and Ennis to the court’s cafe, in an attempt to take all their minds off the deliberations going on elsewhere in the building. They drank coffee and chatted about nothing in particular, each of the other three trying to engage Ennis in conversation while at the same time respecting his silence, knowing the impact the verdict could have on the rest of his life.

But just when they’d finally decided to leave him in peace, Ennis spoke up, facing Jamie with a furrowed brow. "Why didn’t you ask that man...Mr. Keane...to reveal the name of his boss? I mean, it was obvious to me who he was talking about, but by not saying Malachy’s name, he gave the gang a chance to go into hiding until things calm down. I don’t understand, Jamie. I thought you wanted to put Malachy behind bars as well as freeing Jack?"

"I do," Jamie answered with a nod. "But getting Mick Keane to name Malachy in his testimony wasn’t necessary." Noting Ennis’s continued confusion, he tried to explain. "When Mr. Keane came to see me last night, he agreed not only to testify on Jack’s behalf, but also to give the Gards important information regarding a number of unsolved assault and murder cases...information which would point the finger conclusively in the direction of Malachy, Brendan and a dozen other gang members. He didn’t even ask for a deal..."

"Why?" Ennis interrupted.

Jamie shrugged. "Remember you told me he was the one gang member who never seemed entirely comfortable carrying out Malachy’s orders?" When Ennis nodded, he continued. "Well, it turns out he owes a huge debt of gratitude to an old friend of his, someone who risked everything to save Mr. Keane from a long prison sentence many years ago. That debt has been a constant presence in his life since then, weighing heavier and heavier on his heart and mind as time passed. All it took was a little visit from the old friend’s son...or someone disguised as him, anyway...for Mr. Keane to decide the time to make amends had arrived."

Paul cut in. "You pretended to be the man’s son?" he asked with a laugh.

"Yeah," Jamie confirmed, ignoring his friend’s scepticism. "And once he found out who really came to see him, the path to clearing his conscience opened up in front of him."

"So he told the Gards all about Malachy?" Ennis asked.

"Yeah, he did. Right after he told me the story, I called the Gards and they sent four officers down to the court to take his statement. I had to go and speak to the judge and prosecution about calling an additional defence witness, but I believe Mr. Keane was with the Gards most of the night. Then, when I arrived in chambers this morning, the judge pulled me aside and told me that fifteen members of the gang...including Malachy and Brendan...were arrested in the wee small hours," Jamie answered, his face breaking out in a broad smile as he sensed a huge weight lifting from Ennis’s narrow shoulders.

"So wh...what’ll happen to them?" Ennis asked cautiously. "Malachy and Brendan, I mean."

"I don’t know," Jamie replied. "Mr. Keane didn’t tell me the whole story. But, from what he did say, I wouldn’t be surprised if both of them are locked up for the rest of their lives."

"What about Jack?" Paul asked with a frown. "Surely if these men were arrested the charges against him have to be dropped?"

Jamie shook his head. "Unfortunately not. Mick’s testimony alone isn’t enough to prove beyond any doubt that the gang killed K.E. They might be charged with his murder eventually but, for now, they’re under lock and key for other offences, which means that Jack’s trial has to be concluded." He glanced at Ennis. "But don’t worry. He’s going to be acquitted, I’m sure of it."

Ennis sighed and nodded. "What about Mr. Keane? Will he go to jail, too?"

"I don’t think so," Jamie replied. "If the evidence he provided results in several notable criminals being taken off the streets and allows a bunch of unsolved crimes to finally be closed, then I think the Gards will be happy to let him walk away. As long as he has a half decent lawyer, that is."

"You?" Ennis asked.

Jamie opened his mouth to respond but stopped short when his pager beeped insistently. He fished it out of his pocket and read the message quickly then stood up. "They’re back," he said simply.

***

The judge turned to face the jury box. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a decision?" he asked.

"We have, Your Honour," the foreman replied with a nod.

"And is that decision unanimous?"

The foreman nodded again. "It is."

"All right," the judge said, looking towards the dock. "Mr. Twist, please stand." Once Jack was on his feet, the judge turned back to the jury. "On the charge of the murder of Mr. K.E. del Mar of Lansdowne Road, Ballsbridge, County Dublin, how do you find the defendant, Mr. Jack Twist?"

The foreman took a breath and smiled. "Not guilty, Your Honour."

***

At the defence table, Jamie closed his eyes and clenched his fist in triumph, a sense of pride and achievement washing over him. With a quick glance up to the gallery and another to the dock, he retook his seat and started gathering his papers, only vaguely listening as the judge completed the formalities of the trial.

Behind him, Jack exhaled loudly and he grasped the bar at the front of the dock to keep himself upright, his legs suddenly unsteady. But when Jamie looked round and grinned, he gave in to the relief bubbling up inside him and beamed back. As he turned his head towards the public gallery and caught sight of his friends, his smile spread all the way to his eyes, blue burning brightly again at last.

Up in the gallery, Paul relaxed the iron grip he’d had on his wife’s hand and punched the back of the seat in front in joy. Unable to contain himself, he allowed a cheer to escape his lips before covering his mouth in mock embarrassment when Sinead glared at him.

To Paul’s left, Sinead added a quiet amen to the prayer she’d been reciting in her head then crossed herself, her Catholic rituals still affording her faith in times of doubt. Putting her rosary beads back in her pocket, she shifted in her seat and enfolded her young cousin in a warm embrace, holding him tight as his tears of relief fell on her shoulder.

For a brief moment, Ennis allowed Sinead to hold him, the weeks of sadness, tension and fear melting away and spilling over her blouse. His body shook, at first with sobs and then with excitement and anticipation as it dawned on him there was no longer any reason for him to be apart from his man. Looking down into the main body of the court, he caught Jack’s eye then wriggled free from Sinead’s clutches, stumbling over outstretched legs and belongings as he rushed towards the stairs and into Jack’s arms.

***

Two hours after the verdict, Jack followed Jamie into the function suite of a hotel on the outskirts of Dublin. Ennis was at his side, a position the younger man relinquished just once since they’d been reunited in the court room, and even then Jack needed to forcibly extract Ennis’s hand from his in order to use the bathroom. The moment he’d dried his hands, Ennis had attached himself once more, and he was showing no sign of releasing Jack anytime soon.

When they entered the room, a warm cheer went up from the small group of assembled guests and Paul rushed forward to wrap Jack up in a bear hug. As he thumped Jack’s back, Sinead uncorked a bottle of champagne and Jamie’s girlfriend, newly arrived in Dublin, came out of hiding to give her man a congratulatory kiss. At the back of the room, the two law students Jamie had hired to gather information about the gang stood sipping beers and, spotting them, Jamie led his girlfriend over, keen to thank them for the part they’d played in Jack’s successful defence and wanting to include them in the celebrations. Meanwhile, Kieran and his partner Patrick came forward to shake hands with both Jack and Ennis, laughing when Ennis offered his left hand rather than let go of Jack’s.

As the champagne flowed, Jack gave a toast to Jamie, thanking the lawyer profusely for going to such great lengths to win the case. He acknowledged the risk Jamie had taken in seeking out Mick Keane and praised Jamie’s instincts and bravery in following the lead into such dangerous territory. He went on to express his gratitude to Jamie for ensuring not only that he was a free man, but that those responsible for K.E.’s murder would be brought to justice. Finally, he invited everyone to raise their glasses in tribute to Ennis’s late brother. "To K.E. del Mar," he said quietly. "May he rest in peace."

Shortly afterwards, Ennis went to the bar to refill their glasses and Jack took the opportunity to slip onto the function room’s balcony to get some fresh air, the stresses of the past few weeks finally starting to catch up with him. He walked to the end of the balcony and took in the view of the sea before pushing his hands deep into his trouser pockets and allowing his chin to drop forward, his eyes drifting shut. A few moments later he felt Ennis’s arms come round him, holding him from behind.

"Hey, you’re falling asleep on your feet like a horse," Ennis murmured, his lips against Jack’s earlobe. He chuckled softly. "My ma used to say that to me when I was little, whenever I was up past my bedtime. She’d start singing to me then she’d pick me up and carry me up to bed...and I was usually asleep before she made it to the top of the stairs." He stroked his thumb over Jack’s neck. "I don’t think you’re far away from that yourself, are you?"

"No, m’okay," Jack protested. "Just needed some air...don’t want to go to sleep yet."

Ennis kissed his neck, then tugged Jack’s hand free and twined their fingers together. "Well I’m sure we can think of something else to do instead," he said with a wink, turning Jack round to face him. "Paul just gave me the key to our room. It’s for the presidential suite and it’s ours for the next two nights, all paid for by Paul and Sinead. Now, come on, let’s say our goodnights and head up there."

***

With a possessive arm around his waist, Ennis led Jack along the corridor to the room then quickly opened the door, still not letting go of the older man. Once inside, he took Jack’s hand and dragged him gently to the king size bed.

Pushing Jack down, he knelt in front of him and spoke softly. "Now, you just relax and let me take care of you. Let’s get you out of that suit." He untied Jack’s laces then pulled off his shoes and socks, pausing to rub Jack’s feet for a moment before getting up and helping Jack out of his jacket. Laying it to one side, his fingers went to work on loosening Jack’s tie and unfastening shirt buttons but, midway through his task, Jack pushed his hands away.

"Ennis, stop."

He looked up, confused. "What? Why? Did I do something wrong?"

Jack shook his head. "No, it’s just..."

"Then let me finish," he interrupted, quickly pulling the last few buttons free of their holes and sliding Jack’s shirt and tie off. But when his hands went to Jack’s belt, he felt them being shoved roughly away again.

"Ennis, I said stop," Jack said angrily. "I can take my own clothes off. I don’t need you to do it for me."

Ennis sat back on his heels. "I know that," he mumbled, his eyes cast downwards. "I just wanted...well...I...I hoped you might like it...me undressing you. I wanted tonight to be special."

"Yeah well, right now I don’t think I want special," Jack said, standing up. "The only things I want tonight are a hot shower and a good night’s sleep, two things I haven’t had in almost five weeks." He whipped his belt out of its loops and quickly shed his trousers and boxers then turned towards the bathroom.

Feeling his jeans tighten at the sight of Jack’s naked bottom, Ennis got to his feet. "Well then, maybe I could come with you," he said hopefully. "Give you a massage under the spray or...well...anything else you want. Showers and sleep aren’t the only things you haven’t had recently."

Jack spun round, his eyes fiery but his dick still soft. "And you think a fuck’s going to make everything better, do you? Christ, Ennis, I’ve been in prison. Do you have any idea what that’s like? Being locked in a cell at night, knowing the other prisoners can hear you crying yourself to sleep but not being able to stop yourself? Eating alongside guys who want to know why you’re not telling them about all the women you’ve fucked? Showering beside them, desperately hoping they don’t realise you’re one of the queers they’re making disgusting jokes about?"

Ennis reeled back, feeling like he’d been slapped. "Jack, I...shit...I know it’s been awful for you, but..."

"You’re right, it has. But you have no idea how hard, so just let me be," Jack cut in sharply. Without another word, he stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Ennis stared at the closed door for a long moment, listening to the sounds of Jack using the toilet then running water into the sink. He briefly contemplated doing as Jack asked, not wanting to fight. But, just as quickly, he felt his confusion at being rejected give way to annoyance and he crossed the room in three strides, reaching for the bathroom door handle. When he found the door locked, indignation turned to anger.

"Damn it, Jack, let me in," he shouted, hammering on the door.

Jack’s weary voice filtered through the wood. "Go away, Ennis."

He pounded the door again. "No. I’m not going anywhere. Look, I know the last few weeks have been hell for you, and I’m sorry about that, you know I am. But it’s been rough for me, too."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Jack replied sarcastically. "It must have been really difficult, having your freedom and not having your good name tainted forever by a murder trial."

"Yeah, and whose murder were you accused of, Jack? Tell me that?" Ennis demanded, breathing heavily. Hearing a sharp intake of breath from the other side of the door, he forced himself to keep talking, desperately hoping he was getting through. "Christ, I lost my brother, Jack. I know he was no angel...you don’t have to tell me that...but he was family and losing him fucking hurt. But you want to know what hurt more?"

Jack’s voice sounded weak. "No."

Ennis ignored him. "What hurt more was the thought that I might lose the...the man I love, too, and it...it would be my fucking fault." Despair taking over, Ennis slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, his head thumping against the door. "Hearing you’d been arrested...seeing you in court...listening to all the things the prosecution implied about you...worrying about what you were going through in jail...those things fucking killed me, Jack. The only thing I could think of was how this would never have happened if I’d been stronger the day the gang beat me up. If I hadn’t made that call then you wouldn’t have come to Dublin and..."

At his back, the lock clicked open. "...and either K.E. or the gang would have killed you," Jack finished in a whisper, dropping to his knees beside Ennis. "And I would never have been able to forgive myself," he added, pulling Ennis into his arms. "I’m sorry, baby. It’s just...well, it’s been a long few weeks. But I don’t regret coming to Dublin...not for one second. You have to know that."

"But...all those things you said before..." Ennis began, resting his forehead against Jack’s chest.

Jack kissed blond curls. "I shouldn’t have said them," he murmured. "I...these last few weeks...at the police station, in court, in prison...I’ve not been allowed to do anything for myself. There was always someone there, telling me what to do, where to go or what to say, pushing me from pillar to post. When the verdict was announced there were a million thoughts and feelings going through my head, but the most important one was that I had my freedom back, and I swore to myself I’d never let anyone take it away from me again."

"B...but no-one’s trying to," Ennis interrupted, his brow crinkling as he pulled back to look at Jack.

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I know. I was just being stupid. Look, I don’t know if you can understand this but, ever since the judge said I was free to go, I haven’t been alone for a single second and it felt like...like I wasn’t really free at all. First Jamie went with me to sort out the paperwork then you came to the bathroom with me, held on to my arm as we walked down the stairs from the court room and held my hand in the car. Even when we got back here you kept your hand on my back the whole time, like I was going to run off if you didn’t keep a hold of me. I guess I just felt a bit...claustrophobic, you know?" He swept his thumb over Ennis’s cheek, wiping away the moisture he found there. "When you started undressing me, all the indignities of the past five weeks came rushing back. But it wasn’t you I was angry at."

"Are you sh...sure?" Ennis stammered. "Because I don’t want to fight with you, Jack. I...I couldn’t stand that. I want...I want a life with you, just like we planned before all this happened. Tell me you still want that, too. Tell me..." His voice trailed off as he gazed intently into Jack’s eyes, willing the answer to be the one he longed for.

Jack met his gaze and answered with his eyes before confirming his desire in words. "Of course I do, Ennis. I’ve wanted it since the first moment we met, and nothing will ever change that. The ordeal of the last month might take a bit of getting over, but it’ll be a whole lot easier with you by my side, that’s for sure." He pushed Ennis’s curls back from his face and kissed the younger man’s forehead. "I love you, Ennis."

Ennis caressed Jack’s jaw with the palm of his hand. "I love you, too, Jack," he whispered.

"Yeah?" Jack asked, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"Yeah," Ennis confirmed, meeting Jack’s lips in a tender kiss.

Jack pulled back. "Then maybe you can give me that massage in the shower after all," he said with a suggestive smile, his hands dropping to Ennis’s belt.

Ennis grinned broadly and began to unfasten his own shirt buttons. "You bet," he replied eagerly.

***

Leaving Ennis’s clothes in a heap on the bedroom floor, Jack drew the younger man into the luxurious bathroom and closed the door. Wrapping his arms round Ennis, he manoeuvred them both into the massive shower stall, nipping and sucking at Ennis’s lips on the way. Once inside, he pressed a couple of buttons on the wall, dimming the lights in the bathroom and causing soft music to fill the air around them.

Ennis looked up, wide-eyed. "What the fuck?" he asked in amazement.

Jack smiled. "It’s cool, isn’t it? Welcome to the presidential suite, baby." He kissed Ennis’s open mouth, the invitation too strong to resist, and immediately felt Ennis react, their tongues probing and tangling together for several moments. When they finally parted, Jack stretched over and pushed some more buttons. "Check this out," he said with a wink.

Above them, the main showerhead sprang to life, cascading hot water over their worn out bodies while several smaller jets began to massage their shoulders, torsos, legs and feet, soothing tired and aching muscles. They stood motionless for a while, allowing the steam to build as the water worked its magic, their arms loosely around each other, fingers flitting lightly over wet skin, lips meeting then parting then meeting again.

Eventually, Ennis reached behind Jack and squeezed some shampoo out from the wall mounted container. Turning Jack gently, he raised his hands and began to rub it into the other man’s hair, his fingers digging into Jack’s scalp to ease the tension there. Jack leaned his head back, letting the water fall on his face as Ennis continued his ministrations, an involuntary sigh escaping at how good it felt. As Ennis’s hands dropped to his shoulders, he stepped forward to rinse his hair, running his own hands through the dark strands to remove the soap residue. Meanwhile, Ennis’s thumbs bored deep into his neck, working out the kinks caused by too many days of sitting in court and too many nights of lying curled up on a too-small prison bed, tears falling into a lumpy pillow as he dreamed of the man now massaging away the pain.

Filled with a sudden need to see and touch the man in question, he spun round, bringing a shocked gasp out of Ennis as their hard dicks collided a split second before their noses did. Looking deep into Ennis’s eyes, he licked his lips then shifted his hands, caressing Ennis’s chest before flicking his thumbs over erect nipples, smiling as Ennis moaned softly. But when Ennis’s lower body thrust forward, seeking friction, and Ennis’s hand reached for his dick, he pulled back, holding the younger man at arms’ length. "Not yet," he whispered.

Taking some soap in his hands, he began to wash Ennis gently, lathering the lime scented gel into Ennis’s hair and armpits then rinsing it off again using the hand held shower head. With more gel, he ran his hands across Ennis’s chest and abdomen then slid them around Ennis’s back, rubbing them down his partner’s spine until they reached the soft flesh of Ennis’s bottom, his fingers sliding easily into the crack. When he felt Ennis clench his buttocks, he looked up and met the younger man’s nervous gaze. "It’s alright," he murmured. "Just relax." Leaving his left hand where it was, he moved the other to Ennis’s front and began to fondle Ennis’s dick and balls, feeling Ennis’s erection grow harder with the attention. Taking advantage of Ennis’s distraction, he moved his left hand lower until his fingers were over Ennis’s entrance and he circled them round, pressing lightly then finally slipping his index finger inside, the soap easing its passage.

Cutting off Ennis’s shocked protest with a kiss, he began a steady stroking motion with both hands, allowing Ennis time to get used to the intrusion behind before adding a second finger. When Ennis’s features went slack with impending orgasm, he crooked his fingers and grinned as Ennis’s lower body jack-knifed forwards. Quickly pulling his fingers free, he used them to roll Ennis’s balls while he worked the younger man’s shaft harder until Ennis cried out, coming long and hard then falling back against the wet tiles.

After giving Ennis a moment to recover, he sidled closer, cupping Ennis’s jaw with his hand and pressing his lips to Ennis’s eyelids. Kissing his way round to Ennis’s ear he whispered his young partner’s name to rouse him.

Ennis half opened his eyes. "Wha’?" he mumbled.

He pushed his hips forward, his dick nudging Ennis’s hand. "Touch me."

No Matter What - Chapter 23

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 09:15:57 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 23
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. I couldn't do this without your help, guidance and friendship.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter but, like Jack earlier in this story, I had to sit a Microsoft exam this morning. The good news is that, like Jack, I passed :o)

Oh, and I posted an extra chapter of this story last week. In case you missed it, click here.

Following the adjournment of the day’s session, Jamie led Ennis down into the bowels of the court, seeking a room where they could go over the implications of Ennis’s testimony. As they made their way along a corridor below the court room, another door opened and Jack emerged, handcuffed and tethered to a Garda man, another at his back, obviously on his way back to prison.

Ennis stopped in his tracks and stared at Jack, his heart beating ninety to the dozen, his feelings a jumble of desire, arousal, horror, shame and fear as he gazed into Jack’s eyes. As he watched, Jack’s mouth fell open, the tip of his tongue poking out to lick cracked lips.

"Ennis," Jack croaked, his voice clearly suffering from lack of use.

Ennis bit his lip hard, drawing blood. "Jack," he whispered, his eyes misting over. "Oh god, Jack, I..."

All of a sudden he lurched forward, throwing himself against Jack, his arms wrapping his man up in a crushing embrace. With Jack’s hands trapped between them, he buried his face in Jack’s neck, his sobs reverberating through them both and his tears soaking Jack’s shirt. "I’m sorry, Jack. I’m so, so sorry. I should have gone with you that night or I...I should have told them you were back in half an hour. I just...I..."

Jack pushed his hands upwards, forcing Ennis to take a step back, then reached forward and stroked Ennis’s cheek with the back of one finger. "Shhhh. It’s okay. You told the truth, just like you had to. I’m proud of you. Don’t worry, it’ll be alright."

"H...how?" Ennis hiccupped.

Jack forced a smile. "I don’t know. But it will be, you’ll see."

One of the Gards placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. "Mr. Twist, we have to go," he said curtly.

Jack nodded. Leaning forward, he whispered three little words in Ennis’s ear then allowed the Gards to lead him away.

Behind them, Ennis found his voice. "Jack, wait!" he shouted. As he rushed towards his man once more, he fumbled with the badge on his jacket, pulling it free just in time. "Take this," he demanded breathlessly, holding the badge out. "It belonged to my great-grandfather and it protected him during the Rising. Maybe...maybe it’ll protect you, too."

Jack looked down at the badge then back at Ennis. He held his hand out but, as Ennis went to press the token into it, one of the Garda men snatched it from Ennis’s grasp.

"I’ll take that," the man barked. "Prisoners aren’t allowed sharp objects."

Jack glared up at the man. "Then give it back to him," he snapped. Turning back to Ennis he took in the younger man’s crestfallen expression. "It’s alright," he whispered, nodding slightly. "You can keep it for me. Anything that protects you protects both of us."

With a reassuring smile, he took a lingering look at Ennis’s face then followed the Gards through a door and out of sight.

***

Manoeuvring Ennis into a witness room, Jamie pushed him gently down into a chair and handed him a clean handkerchief. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Ennis sniffed loudly. "What have I done, Jamie? It was all going so well until that horrible man started asking about what Jack said, the threats he made, pushing me to say things to make Jack look bad. Asking about that night..." He stalled for a moment then slammed his fist against the table. "Fuck! Why didn’t I go with Jack? Why didn’t I stay awake so I could’ve gone looking for him when I realised how long he’d been gone? I could have...I should have...oh Jamie, if the jury finds him guilty because I couldn’t tell them what he did that night...I...I...I’ll never forgive myself."

"Ennis, you have to keep believing," Jamie replied. "I know it’s hard, but you told the truth, not just in answer to the prosecution’s claims, but about everything. The jury may still have some doubts about what Jack really did that night, but they can’t ignore the things you told them about the gang and they could still acquit Jack based on those facts." He leaned back in his seat and sighed. "Maybe I should have asked you about Jack going back to K.E.'s house during direct...I guess I really screwed up by leaving that to the prosecutor. I'm sorry, Ennis. I just...I wish you’d told me that you didn’t know how long Jack was gone for that night, and that he seemed needier than usual when he returned. It might have helped."

"I know," Ennis mumbled miserably. "But I...I didn’t even remember looking at the clock until that man asked me about it today. And I thought Jack was just needy because he had to leave the next morning. I...I didn’t mention it to you because...well...Jack wanting me like that...it’s...it’s still not easy for me to talk about something so intimate. But..." His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. "Oh, fuck. That man thinks Jack acted strangely because he’d just killed K.E. and he needed comfort, doesn’t he?"

Jamie nodded. "Probably, yeah."

"And n...now the jury think that, too," Ennis stuttered. "Oh god, why didn’t I make it clear wh...why Jack wanted to...to make love? Oh god...". He slumped forward, crossing his arms on the table and laying his head on them, his shoulders shaking as sobs wracked his body.

***

Jamie watched Ennis helplessly, his mind awash with guilt over his failure to better prepare Ennis for cross examination. He wished there was something he could say to ease the younger man’s distress, but he couldn't find the words so he remained silent, trying instead to focus on what he could do to minimize the impact of the prosecutor's claims. Just as he began to consider putting Jack on the stand, something he'd hoped to avoid, he heard a quiet knock at the door. Rather than risk upsetting Ennis any further, he got up and went over to the door, opening it a fraction and slipping out, coming face to face with a court official.

The man looked apologetic. "Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Taylor, but there’s a fella outside who insists he needs to speak to you as soon as possible."

"Did he say what he wanted to talk to me about?" Jamie asked with a frown.

The official shrugged. "Not really, no. Just that it was important, in terms of your case. Shall I bring him through?"

"I suppose so," Jamie answered. "But is there another room we can use? Mr. del Mar is a little upset and I think he needs some time to himself."

"No problem," the official said. "I’ll put him in room four, down the corridor there. Take your time."

Jamie watched as the man headed back down the corridor, then sighed and went back into the room, wondering whether to risk raising Ennis’s hopes.

***

Ten minutes later Jamie walked into the interview room and his heart jumped into his throat as he recognised the stocky, balding man who sat at the table.

"M...Mr. Keane," he stammered.

The older man eyed him for a moment then spoke gruffly. "Sean Whelan’s son was killed in a car accident when he was ten years old. I hope you didn’t know that when you pretended to be him."

Jamie inhaled sharply. "Jesus. N...no, I didn’t," he answered. "How did you find out?"

"After meeting you in the pub, I decided to try to contact Sean. We used to be really close and your visit reminded me how much I miss him, so I went to the library and did some digging. I eventually found a phone number and I called him. He told me about wee Sean."

"I’m sorry," Jamie sighed. "I just...I needed to know the truth about who killed K.E. del Mar. Your name was mentioned a few times in connection with the gang so when I found the newspaper article about how Sean Whelan saved you from going to jail, I figured I’d found your weak spot." As he spoke, he kept one hand on the door handle, ready to run if the man opposite him made any false moves. "I’m sorry," he repeated nervously, backing up slightly.

Mick rolled his eyes. "Ah Jesus, I’m not going to attack you," he chuckled. "Let go of the door and come over here. I’m here to help you...since you don’t seem to have found a way to prove yer man didn’t kill anyone."

"And you can prove that?" Jamie asked, pulling up a chair.

"I can," Mick replied simply.

Jamie felt his excitement growing but tamped it down for a second. "But why? Why would you help me, after I lied to get you to talk?"

"Two reasons," the older man answered. "Firstly, I’d like to think that, if he’d lived, Sean’s boy would have turned out like you, someone willing to go the extra mile to see justice done. And secondly..." He swallowed hard. "Your visit reminded me of the life I had before I got involved with Malachy’s gang, a life where Sean and I were best friends and there was nothing we wouldn’t do for each other...and calling him the other night made me realise we could have had that all along, if only I hadn’t fucked it up."

"By getting caught?" Jamie asked.

"Yes and no," Mick replied with a sigh. "Look, when Sean’s business took off, he gave me a job which should have set me up, but all it did was make me jealous of what he’d achieved. You know how it goes...he was the big shot, wearing nice suits and going off on trips all the time, while I was just some lowly factory worker with no skills, who only got the job because he was mates with the boss. It didn’t take the other men long to pick up on that little fact and, once they had, I just couldn’t hack it anymore. The day I walked out of Sean’s factory, I walked straight into the bar where Malachy drank and, within ten minutes, I was his latest employee." He got up and walked across to the window, his hands buried in his pockets. "I started off on little jobs but promotion came fast and before long I was mixed up in some fairly serious crime. But I was young and reckless and, looking back, getting caught was inevitable. That day in court...the day you asked me about...I was facing a long stretch inside, not for aggravated assault like the papers reported, but for attempted murder. I hadn’t seen Sean for a long time...he wanted nothing to do with me while I was involved with Malachy...but some sense of friendship or loyalty made him stand up and vouch for me, give me the alibi he knew I didn’t have."

"Do you think he knew the consequences?"

Mick nodded. "I’m sure he did. But maybe...maybe he saw a way to save me from more than just a few years behind bars and maybe he thought that was worth whatever price he had to pay. Maybe it would have been, too, had I been smart enough to take the second chance he gave me." He turned round, leaning against the window ledge. "Talking to Sean on the phone, I could hear the disappointment in his voice...but he wasn’t disappointed by the man I became, just by the loss of our friendship. He’s forgiven me, Mr. Taylor...but I haven’t forgiven myself. Not for letting him lie to save me from a fate I deserved, not for throwing that lie back in his face, and especially not for failing to be there for him when he needed me most, when his boy died. I’ve done some awful things over the years but that surely has to be the worst. I can’t turn back the clock but...I don’t know...maybe I can start to make amends by telling the truth about what happened the night K.E. del Mar was killed and making sure that another innocent man gets to live the life he wants."

***

Once the judge was seated the following morning, Jamie jumped to his feet, eager to get on with things. With a smile for his client in the dock, and another for Paul, Sinead and Ennis in the public gallery, he spoke calmly. "The defence calls Michael Keane."

The witness made his way quickly to the stand, placed his hand on the bible and swore to tell the truth before taking a seat.

Still watching the gallery, Jamie saw the shock of recognition in Ennis’s eyes as the witness looked up. He nodded at Ennis, silently communicating his confidence in what Mick Keane was going to say, then turned towards the witness.

"Mr. Keane, can you tell the jury what you do for a living, please?"

The witness nodded. "I’m a bin man...sorry, refuse collector. But it doesn’t pay too well so I have a...a second job," he answered.

Jamie cocked his head to the side. "A second job?"

"Yes. I...uh...I do some...uh...jobs for a local loan shark."

"What kind of jobs?" Jamie asked.

The witness shrugged. "Collecting money, paying folks a visit when they miss a payment...that sort of thing."

"Threatening people? Beating them up?" Jamie pressed.

The prosecutor bounced to his feet. "Objection, Your Honour! Counsel is badgering the witness."

"He’s right, Mr. Taylor," the judge said, nodding.

Jamie opened his mouth to speak, but the witness beat him to it. "It’s alright, sir. I don’t mind answering."

The judge looked concerned but eventually shrugged. "All right. I’ll allow the question, but please watch your tone, Mr. Taylor. Objection overruled."

Jamie nodded then turned back to the witness. "Mr. Keane?"

"Yes," the witness said softly. "Yes, sometimes we threaten people. And if they don’t listen, then sometimes we have to take things further."

"I see," Jamie said thoughtfully. He looked round and caught Jack’s eye, realising from the thunderous expression on Jack’s face that Jack knew the witness had been involved in beating Ennis up. He took a breath then pressed on, turning away from Jack once more. "Mr. Keane, we heard earlier that the deceased, Mr. K.E. del Mar, had considerable money troubles, with his younger brother claiming both he and his brother were threatened and attacked on a number of occasions by the gang who lent Mr. del Mar money. Do you know anything about that?"

The witness cleared his throat and gave a brief nod. "Yes. It was my...uh...my boss who lent him the money." Once the ripples from the jury and the public gallery had died down, he went on. "I first came across Mr. del Mar about a year ago. My boss was fed up with him failing to pay back the money he owed and decided it was time to teach him a lesson. He sent a couple of us to wait for del Mar outside his work one night, making it abundantly clear that we were expected to put him in hospital."

"And you succeeded?"

"Of course," the witness replied. "We usually do."

Jamie raised an eyebrow. "But Mr. del Mar didn’t learn his lesson, did he?"

The witness shook his head. "No. He...del Mar...was pretty heavily in debt and he had some serious addictions. It was clear he was going to struggle to pay the money back."

"What did your boss do about that?"

"Well," the witness began, "he put some pressure on del Mar’s younger brother. It’s a tactic my boss has used before, with quite a bit of success. If you bring a relative or partner into the equation, there’s a chance that they’ll pay the money back instead. Either that or they’ll persuade the debtor to pay up."

Jamie nodded. "And did that work?"

"Not immediately but, a month or so later, the kid came to see my boss and made a deal to pay the money back in instalments."

"Were you there when this deal was made?"

"Yes," the witness confirmed.

"And your boss was happy with the arrangement?" Jamie asked.

"He was reasonably happy," the witness responded. "But he did tell the kid that the first time he missed a payment, all bets were off."

"What do you think he meant by that?"

Behind him, Jamie heard the prosecution lawyer’s chair scrape back. Anticipating the objection, he held up a hand. "I’ll rephrase the question. Did your boss say what he meant?"

"Yes. He said he would kill them both. Both del Mar brothers, I mean."

Jamie nodded solemnly then returned to his table and shuffled through some papers, allowing the witness’ last statement to echo round the courtroom for a moment. Finally, he turned back. "So did the del Mar brothers keep to the schedule?"

"For the first five or six months, yes. To start with, the kid brought the money round and he was always on time. But then one month he didn’t show up when he was meant to," the witness told the court.

Jamie frowned. "That must have upset your boss."

"Yeah, it did," the witness agreed quietly. "He was about to send a couple of us out to find the kid when the older brother turned up with the money. He was clearly drunk, but all the money was there so my boss let him off with a reminder to be on time the following month."

"And was he?"

The witness shook his head. "No. In fact, neither of them showed up at all for the next two months. My boss was insi...uh...he was away for the first few weeks of that time, so nothing was done until he got back. But he was spitting nails when he found out."

"I’ll bet," Jamie said. "What did he do?"

"We...uh...we went out one morning and picked the younger brother up on his way to college. We drove out to the outskirts then dragged him out the car. My boss planned to kill him, but the kid swore blind he didn’t know his brother had skipped payments. He promised to pay all the money back within two weeks and eventually my boss decided to let him off one last time...although not before he ordered us to give the kid a warning," the witness said, shivering slightly.

"What sort of warning?"

The witness sighed heavily. "The sort you don’t forget in a hurry. We left him curled up and bleeding...and I’d bet he wasn’t able to walk for a good long time." As he spoke, he glanced up into the gallery and spotted Ennis watching him. "I was just following orders," he added in a whisper.

"Alright, Mr. Keane," Jamie said. "Let’s stick to the facts. So this...assault...took place less than a week before K.E. del Mar was murdered, is that right?"

"Yes. It was the Tuesday morning...the thirteenth of May."

"And, just to reiterate, your boss gave the del Mar brothers two weeks to pay the money back in full before they would pay the ultimate price?"

"Yes," the witness agreed.

Jamie’s brow furrowed. "So was that the last contact your boss had with them? Given that K.E. del Mar was killed just a few days later, well within the two week deadline."

"Uh...no," the witness replied. "At lunchtime on the Thursday...the fifteenth...one of my...uh...one of the boys spotted del Mar in the bookies, splashing a lot of money on the horses. He reported back to my boss, and my boss sent someone round to del Mar’s house to tell him there was a new deadline."

Jamie turned to face the jury as he asked his next question, keen to see their reaction. "And what was the new deadline?"

"Sunday the eighteenth of May," the witness said clearly, causing a wave of gasps and murmurs to circle the courtroom.

***

Up in the public gallery, Sinead reached across and took Ennis’s hand, stilling the tremors. "It’s going to be alright, sweetie," she whispered excitedly.

Ennis glanced at her, his expression still cautious. "Maybe, but what if that’s all he knows? I mean, the jury knows now that Malachy was planning to kill K.E., but unless this guy was there when it happened, the prosecution could still claim that Jack did it before Malachy’s men got to K.E.’s house."

"No," Sinead breathed, shaking her head. "I’m sure Jamie wouldn’t have put him on the stand unless he had some conclusive evidence to offer."

Ennis turned back to the court, his eyes trained on Jack once more. "I hope you’re right," he muttered. "Christ, I hope you’re right."

***

Back on the floor, Jamie paused for a minute then put his hands in his trouser pockets and moved closer to the witness box. "Okay, let’s move forward to Sunday the eighteenth, then. Can you tell the court where you were that night?"

"Sure," the witness answered. "I was in the pub. James Connolly’s in Dundrum. That’s where we...the gang...would meet."

"I see. And was your boss there?"

"Not until just after eleven. He came in with his right hand man and a couple of the other boys. They were in high spirits, laughing and joking."

Jamie pursed his lips. "Did they tell you what had put them in such a good mood?"

The witness nodded. "Yeah. My boss said that good for nothing bastard K.E. del Mar wouldn’t be causing any more trouble." He looked up and met Jamie’s stare, ignoring the new chatter from the courtroom. "He told us they went to collect the money and del Mar wasn’t in so they waited. When he finally returned home, del Mar was steaming drunk. They were about to confront him when some other fella turned up at the door, first hammering on it and then forcing his way in. My boss and the boys hung back and watched as this fella looked for del Mar." He took a deep breath. "When they finally met in the kitchen, del Mar apparently screamed the fella’s name then started calling him a faggot and a whole host of other offensive names. Eventually the fella snapped and hit del Mar over the head with a heavy pan then fled the house. My boss told us that by the time they got to del Mar, he was already dead."

"What name did Mr. del Mar shout, according to your boss?" Jamie asked.

The witness glanced up at the dock. "Jack Twist," he answered.

Jamie nodded slowly. "Did you believe the story your boss told you?"

The witness hesitated. "No," he replied finally.

"Why not?"

"Because as soon as he finished telling his story, he told me to go round to del Mar’s neighbour’s house and make him call the police. He said he saw the neighbour’s curtains twitching, and he wanted to be sure the facts were reported correctly, but he wouldn’t have needed me to do that if what he told us was true. He also gave me a bottle of good whiskey to use as a bribe."

Jamie scratched his chin. "Did you question the order?"

"Hell, no," the witness said with a snort. "I’m not stupid. I went round to the old man’s house and he immediately started talking about seeing four men arrive, then hearing a fight and a blood curdling scream, just before the same men left again. I asked if he’d seen anyone else and he said no. But I couldn’t let my boss down, so I pressed him...and eventually he mentioned seeing another man at the house earlier, with del Mar’s brother. He said there was a fight then, too, and he also talked about the man having blood on his shirt, although he seemed confused about whether that was the same day or not. I asked if he knew the other man’s name and he gave the same name my boss gave...Jack Twist."

"I see," Jamie said. "So what did you do next?"

"I gave the old man a couple of shots of the whiskey," the witness responded with a shrug. "He protested, saying he was teetotal, but I told him it would help him remember what really happened. By the time he finished those, he was convinced Jack Twist was the only person he’d seen either entering or leaving del Mar’s house."

"But you knew differently?"

The witness nodded his head vigorously. "Yes. I knew the truth...but I also knew not to cross my boss. He ordered me to make old man point the finger at Jack Twist, so that’s what I did."

Jamie sighed. "And because of that, an innocent man has been put through weeks of hell, separated from friends and loved ones and forced to stand in front of this court, accused of bloody murder."

"Objection," the prosecutor mumbled in the background, his voice lacking any conviction. "It’s still for the jury to decide whether Mr. Twist is innocent or guilty."

The judge nodded. "Sustained. Mr. Taylor, please refrain from making closing statements during the witness’ testimony."

"Sorry, Your Honour," Jamie said, turning back to the witness. "Mr. Keane, did either your boss or Mr. Connolly describe Mr. Twist to you at any point?"

"Yes. They both described him as being around six feet tall, of slim build with short, dark hair and piercing blue eyes." As he spoke, the witness fixed his eyes on the dock, clearly well aware that the defendant matched the description perfectly.

"And, before today, had you seen the man who matched that description at any time?"

"Yes," the witness replied quietly. "I saw him from Mr. Connolly’s living room window while the old man was on the phone to the Gards."

Jamie feigned shock. "The same night Mr. del Mar was killed?"

The witness nodded. "Yes."

"Where was he?" Jamie asked.

"At the front gate of del Mar’s house," the witness answered. "I saw a figure walking down the road towards the house just as the old man dialled the phone. I thought at first my boss had sent someone to check up on me. But then the figure stopped at del Mar’s gate."

"Did he just stand there?"

The witness shook his head. "No. He seemed to be looking for something. He put his hand on the gate post first then crouched down to feel around its base. When he stood up, he was holding what I thought was just a piece of material."

"Material?" Jamie questioned.

"Yeah. It was dark and I couldn’t see clearly to start with, but when he got to his feet he must have triggered the security light at the front of the old man’s house. Both gardens were suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree and I realised he was holding a jacket."

Jamie held back a grin. "And you got a clear view of the man’s face, too?"

"Yeah. He was too far away to see the colour of his eyes, but apart from that, it was pretty clear it was the man my boss and the old man had described."

"And what did the man do next?" Jamie asked.

"He slung his jacket over his shoulder and walked away from the house again, back the way he’d come," the witness answered.

"Without ever going into Mr. del Mar’s house?"

The witness nodded. "Yeah, that’s right. He didn’t even go into the garden."

Jamie let his smile show. "And do you see that man in this courtroom?" he asked.

The witness nodded again. "Yeah. That’s him in the dock."

"Thank you, Mr. Keane. No further questions, Your Honour," Jamie said.

No Matter What - Chapter 22

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 09:10:52 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 22
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. I couldn't do this without your help, guidance and friendship.

Author's Note: I felt a bit cruel leaving you all hanging halfway through Ennis's testimony so I decided (after some serious begging from Keren and Tammy) to post this chapter earlier than originally planned. The next one will be up on Tuesday at some point, although it won't be as early as normal.

Thirty minutes later, Jamie approached the stand once more. "Ennis, can you tell the court what happened the day you arrived back in Dublin after the stag weekend?"

"Well..." Ennis began, composure regained. "K.E. was only just out of hospital and he couldn’t do anything for himself, making him even angrier than normal. He started sniping at me the minute I walked in the door then he sent me out to buy whiskey for him. On my way back from the shop, I ran into a couple of members of the gang. One of them held a knife to my throat and gave me a message to pass on to K.E."

"What was the message?"

"He said they wanted their money back," Ennis said. "He said to tell K.E....to tell him that if he didn’t pay up, it would be a morgue he needed next time."

Jamie waited until the murmurs had ceased before continuing. "Was that all the man said?"

"No," Ennis whispered, closing his eyes. "He said if they couldn’t find K.E., they would kill me instead."

Jamie glanced at the judge, realising his next question could get him into trouble, but knowing it had to be asked. "Do you know the name of the man who threatened you, Ennis?"

Ennis nodded. "Malachy. Malachy Maguire."

The prosecutor leapt to his feet as the courtroom was filled with noise. "Your Honour..."

The judge cut in. "Mr. Taylor, please approach the bench," he said sharply, holding up a hand to appease the prosecutor.

Jamie obeyed the order. "Your Honour, the witness needs to be allowed to tell his story," he murmured as the judge glowered at him.

"I’m aware of that, Mr. Taylor," the judge snapped. "But we have a job to do here, and I cannot allow the witness to make accusations of this nature during these proceedings, not least because they may put him in danger. Please ask him to refrain from naming names during the rest of his testimony." As Jamie gave a resigned nod, the judge’s expression changed. "Rest assured, however, that these allegations have been noted and will be passed on to the appropriate body to deal with, as a matter of urgency," he added softly.

***

After a brief private discussion with Ennis, Jamie resumed his questioning. "Mr. del Mar, did you keep your relationship with Mr. Twist a secret when you returned to Dublin after the stag weekend?"

Ennis took a deep breath. "Yes. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see Jack again anyway. I had college and jobs in Dublin, and he had his life in England. I couldn’t afford to travel across there, not even for my cousin’s wedding, so I didn’t really think there was a relationship there to hide."

"Fair enough," Jamie said. "But you did go to your cousin’s wedding in the end, didn’t you? What happened to make you change your mind?"

"Well, like I said, I couldn’t really afford it. All the money I earned I put aside to help K.E. pay back what he owed. But then I came home a couple of nights before the wedding and found that K.E. had stolen the money from the box I kept it in and wasted it all on horses and booze. He told me he had a hot tip," Ennis replied morosely. "I was furious with him because I’d been so close to having enough to pay the gang off for good. I couldn’t face being in the same house as him so I packed up some clothes and called my cousin to tell her I was coming to the wedding after all."

"And you picked up where you left off with Mr. Twist?"

Ennis gave a shy nod. "Yes. After the wedding was over, Jack invited me back to his house for a couple of days. I was still mad at K.E., and I wanted to spend more time with Jack, so I agreed. We had a really good time, but then Jack asked me about the b...bruises and scars he’d seen on my body in Barcelona. I panicked to start with because I’d never told anyone about the things K.E. had done to me, but Jack didn’t push me and eventually I realised it might help so I told him the whole story."

"How did he react?"

Ennis shivered. "He was really angry. He wanted me to go to the police, tell them everything I’d told him, but I couldn’t do that. Despite everything, K.E. was still my brother and he was the only family I had left. I couldn’t turn him in." He sighed. "I don’t think Jack really understood, and he argued with me about it, but he finally agreed to respect my decision. He then suggested I could go and live with him, promising me I’d be safe there. But I couldn’t do that either. I wanted to finish my college course, and I still wanted to help K.E. get out of trouble. I couldn’t get away from the feeling that, if I wasn’t there to look out for him, he would eventually end up dead, either from too much drink or at the hand of one of the men he owed money to." He shook his head sadly, his eyes filling with tears over his morbid prediction coming to pass.

Jamie scratched his head. "Did you explain to Mr. Twist why you were so worried about your brother?"

"Not completely, no," Ennis admitted, rubbing his face. "I told him about K.E.’s debts and I told him it was the gang who put K.E. in hospital, but I didn’t tell him about K.E. stealing the money I’d saved or about what that meant in terms of the gang’s threats. I was concerned that if I told him everything, Jack would insist on coming to Dublin to protect me. I appreciated his support, but I was still scared of what would happen when K.E. found out about me and Jack. I just...I didn’t want to put Jack in the firing line."

"And you told him that?"

"Yeah. I told him his safety mattered to me, more than anything else. He wasn’t happy, but we agreed to stay in touch by email and he made me promise I would call him if K.E. started beating me again, or if things got nasty with the men K.E. owed money to."

Jamie nodded. "Okay, so what happened when you returned to Dublin?"

Ennis took a deep breath then told the court about the payment schedule he sorted out with the gang, making sure to reiterate what Kieran had said about K.E. sticking to the schedule for a while, still not wanting to paint a completely black picture of his brother. During the story, he mentioned Jack regularly, keen to let the jury know where the strength to deal with the debt situation came from. When he moved on to the morning the gang caught up with him, he focussed on Jack once more as he spoke of his fear for his life, the beating the gang inflicted, his call to Jack and his struggle to make it home afterwards.

After a brief pause for a sip of water, he continued, recounting how Jack had shown up at college following the phone call, falsely thinking K.E. had beaten him again, and telling of his initial hesitation to accept Jack being there. In a quiet voice he recalled the part Kieran had played in making him go after Jack and the difficult conversation he and Jack had in the college grounds as he tried to make Jack understand the influence his homophobic brother had on his own thoughts and beliefs. Looking directly at the jury, he went on to describe Jack’s determination to help him break free from K.E.’s problems and explain what happened when he and Jack went to K.E.’s house. He gave details of K.E.’s injury and how he’d tended to it then told the court about K.E.’s fury when his brother realised that he and Jack were lovers. As he described K.E.’s attack on Jack he spoke softly, but he didn’t hold back, ensuring the jury were well aware of how K.E.’s blood got on Jack’s t-shirt and also how Jack’s fingerprints ended up on the skillet.

When Ennis finished, Jamie allowed the jury a moment to process the information before moving on. "So Mr. Twist still planned to lend K.E. the money to pay off his debts, in spite of K.E.’s attack on him?" he asked with a frown.

"Yeah," Ennis replied. "I was concerned he would change his mind, but Jack told me he would still lend K.E. the money because he knew I wanted to help my brother but couldn’t. He said he would go to the bank first thing in the morning."

"And did he?"

"Yes. He got the money then put it in the safe in our hotel room before he came to pick me up at college," Ennis answered. "He hired a car and we took off for a couple of days, touring round Wicklow and Wexford," he added.

Jamie nodded. "When did you see your brother next?"

"On the Sunday afternoon, around two o’clock. The man who attacked K.E. told him he’d be back on Sunday night for the money, so we had to get it to K.E. before then."

"Did you just drop the money off then leave?"

"No," Ennis responded with a shake of his head. "Jack didn’t want me to stay with K.E. any longer because he didn’t trust K.E. not to start beating me again, now that he knew about my...um...my sexuality. I’d arranged to go and stay with a friend from college, so I packed up my belongings ready to drop them off at his flat."

"Okay. So you collected your things and put them into the car. What happened next?"

"I got into the car and closed the door but K.E. came over and started screaming at me through the window. I couldn’t hear everything he said, but I got the gist of it. He said he would find me and show me what happened to faggots," Ennis answered, flinching at the horrible word. "Jack still had the money at that point, so he went back to hand it over."

"Did he say anything to K.E.?"

Ennis shrugged. "He said something, but his voice was low and he had his back to me. Once he got back in the car I asked him what he’d said and he told me he warned K.E. to stay out of my life until he got himself clean and out of trouble."

"And you were okay with that?"

"Yes. I didn’t want to lose contact with my brother, but I’d had enough of his problems," Ennis said. "Jack gave him the number for an addiction helpline, and I told him it was up to him to decide whether he wanted to get clean or not."

"Were you aware of anyone else watching or listening to the exchanges between yourself and your brother, or between Jack and K.E.?" Jamie asked.

"No. I didn’t see anyone around, either when we arrived at the house or as we left. There might have been folks further down the street, but I’m sure there was no-one in the gardens to either side of K.E.’s house. The fences round the gardens are pretty low so it’s hard to hide behind them."

Jamie nodded, hoping the jury recalled the claims of K.E.’s neighbour. "And was that the last time you saw your brother alive?"

"Yes," Ennis responded, sadness creeping into his voice. "Jack and I dropped my things off at Kieran’s flat and returned the hire car then went back to the hotel. Jack left early on the Monday morning to fly home and I got myself organised then went to college as normal."

"How did you hear about what had happened to your brother?"

"My cousin phoned the college on the Monday afternoon, desperate to speak to me. Jack called her husband when he was ar...arrested and told him that K.E. was...that he was dead," Ennis answered, his voice shaking. "She told me the news then the Gards turned up just as I hung up and confirmed the story."

Jamie nodded sombrely. "It must have been a terrible shock."

"It was," Ennis murmured. "K.E. and I had our ups and downs, more downs than ups I guess, but he..." A tear trickled down his cheek and he left it there, glistening in the court room lights, reminding everyone of the loss he’d suffered. "He was my brother and I never wanted anything like this to happen to him."

"I’m sure you didn’t," Jamie said quietly. After giving Ennis a minute, he pressed on. "How did you feel about Jack’s arrest?"

Ennis’s brow furrowed. "Shocked and horrified. It was so much to take in, losing my brother then finding out my...my partner was accused of killing him."

"Did you believe the accusations?"

Ennis shook his head emphatically. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because Jack loves me," Ennis answered, once more meeting his partner’s eyes across the room. "When I told him about the things K.E. did to me he promised me he would never do anything to hurt me. I believed him then, and I believe him now. I know he didn’t do it."

Jamie nodded. "Then who did?" he asked softly.

The prosecutor stood up. "Objection!" he shouted. "This case is concerned only with the guilt or otherwise of Jack Twist. Any other discussion is outside the remit of this hearing."

Jamie looked up at the judge, who nodded his agreement. "Sustained. The last question will be struck from the record. Mr. Taylor, please refrain from straying outside the boundaries of this hearing."

"I apologise, Your Honour," Jamie said, turning back to Ennis. "One final question. The man you saw leaving your brother’s house on the Thursday afternoon...the one who inflicted the facial wound on K.E.? Had you ever seen him before?"

Ennis nodded. "Yes. He was a member of the gang K.E. owed money to, one of those who collected payments. And he was the main aggressor when I was beaten up. I don’t think I’ll ever forget him telling me they’d kill me next time as his boot connected with my ribs."

Jamie closed his eyes. "No further questions."

***

"Mr. del Mar, you said Mr. Twist was angry when you told him about the abuse your brother had inflicted on you. Did he threaten to take revenge on K.E. if K.E. hurt you again?" the prosecutor asked as he began to cross examine Ennis.

Ennis shook his head firmly. "No. He said he would have no qualms about reporting K.E. to the police if the beatings started again, but he made no threat to hurt K.E."

"What about when he arrived in Dublin following your phone call? You said your injuries were obvious. Did Mr. Twist assume they’d been caused by your brother?"

"Yeah, he did," Ennis replied with a nod.

"And did you tell him the truth immediately, or only after you’d finally accepted his presence in Dublin?"

"I didn’t tell him straight away," Ennis admitted. "I was really surprised by him showing up like that, and it took me awhile to get my wits about me."

"I see," the prosecutor mused. "So while you were trying to explain to Mr. Twist why you’d panicked when he arrived, he still thought your brother was responsible for your latest wounds?"

"Yes."

The prosecutor nodded. "So he was already angry at K.E. for hurting you again when you told him that the reason you turned him away was because of the homophobic doctrines K.E. had instilled in you and your fear over what K.E. would do when he found out about your relationship with Mr. Twist, is that correct?"

"Yes," Ennis answered cagily.

"That must have increased his anger towards your brother. Did he make any threat against K.E. at that point?"

Ennis mulled the question over for a second then sucked in a breath as he recalled the conversation in the college grounds. "He...he said he could kill K.E. for everything he’d put me through," he choked out. "But it was just a figure of speech. He was just annoyed about the way K.E.’s homophobia made it so hard for me to be comfortable with our relationship. He didn’t mean it."

"I think we’ll let the jury decide that," the prosecutor snapped. "Now, Mr. del Mar, thinking about later that same day, when Mr. Twist went with you to your brother’s house. You stated that K.E. threatened to report Mr. Twist to the police when he found out the two of you were a couple. Why would he do that? I mean, I know many people disapprove of homosexuality, but it’s not a crime, so on what grounds was your brother planning to report Mr. Twist?"

Ennis shrugged. "I don’t know. Maybe K.E. thought it was a crime because I wasn’t eighteen when Jack and I first...got together." He opened his mouth to go on but closed it again suddenly when he saw the smile on the prosecutor’s face, realising with horror that he’d just handed those jurors who were opposed to homosexuality new stones to throw at Jack.

"Perhaps," the prosecutor said smugly. "Now, you said Mr. Twist and your brother had a heated argument following K.E.’s threat to call in the police. Did the argument continue after Mr. Twist sent you out of the room to collect some clothes?"

Jamie pushed his chair back. "Objection! How can Mr. del Mar comment on what went on while he wasn’t in the room?"

The prosecutor waved a hand. "I’ll rephrase the question. Mr. del Mar – could you still hear your brother and Mr. Twist fighting once you went upstairs?"

"Yes," Ennis replied. "I couldn’t hear everything that was said, but there was definitely still plenty of shouting going on."

"How long were you out of the room for?"

"I’m not sure. Somewhere between five and ten minutes, I think."

The prosecutor nodded. "And when you came back into the room, the first thing you saw was your brother swinging a cast iron skillet at Mr. Twist. Is that right?"

"Yes. I shouted out to warn Jack and he raised his arms to protect his head, but K.E.’s blow still knocked him backwards onto the floor. I rushed at K.E. and took the skillet off him then held him so he couldn’t attack Jack again. Jack got to his feet and took the pan from me, laying it on the counter...that’s how his fingerprints got on there, like I said before."

"Did Mr. Twist say anything when he got up off the floor, either to you or to your brother?" the prosecutor asked.

Ennis frowned. "He told K.E. we’d be back with the money on the Sunday. He said if it was just K.E. who was in danger, he would let the gang do their worst, but he didn’t want me to have to live in fear, so he would still lend K.E. the money to pay off his debt."

"And that’s all he said? He didn’t threaten K.E. in any way, despite the fact K.E. had just attacked him?"

"No, he...," Ennis began but then stopped abruptly, remembering exactly what Jack had said to K.E. Rubbing his eyes, he spoke in a low, shaky voice. "He said if K.E. ever tried something like that again, he would save the gang the bother of finishing K.E. off."

"Thank you," the prosecutor said. "Okay, let’s move on to Sunday the eighteenth of May. You told the court that, after you dropped the hire car off, you returned with Mr. Twist to his hotel room and stayed there until he left for the airport on the Monday morning. Did either of you leave the room at any point during those hours?"

"I...I didn’t," Ennis replied nervously, "but Jack did. Not long after we got to the hotel, he decided he wanted something to drink. He thought the room service charges were ridiculous so he went down to the bar himself."

"And was that the only time Mr. Twist left the room that night?"

Ennis’s face went white and he swallowed hard, knowing exactly what information the prosecutor was trying to get to and realising there was no way he could lie. He looked across at Jamie then up at Jack, feeling panic spread through his body as he took in the resignation on his man’s face. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

"Mr. del Mar, please answer the question," the prosecutor urged. "Did Mr. Twist leave the hotel room again before the morning?"

Ennis sighed and closed his eyes. "Yes. Yes, he did."

The prosecutor raised an eyebrow. "Where did he go?"

"He went back to K.E.’s house," Ennis said in a whisper, his eyes fixed on a spot on the desk in front of him. "He suddenly remembered he’d left his jacket hanging on the gate post when he went to hand K.E. the money. His passport was in the pocket so he had to get it back otherwise he wouldn’t be allowed to fly home."

"Did he go alone?"

Ennis nodded slowly. "Yes. Jack knew exactly where he’d left his jacket and had no intention of going in to the house, but he knew there was a chance K.E. would see him at the gate and come out ready for another fight and he didn’t want me to have to deal with that again. He said he’d seen a taxi rank outside the hotel so he would just grab a cab there and get the driver to wait for him while he retrieved his jacket."

"And what time was this?"

"I don’t know, exactly," Ennis answered. "We got back to the hotel about five and had something to eat in the bar then went up to Jack’s room and watched TV for a while before making...before going to bed." Heat crept across his face as he thought about the slow, tender way they’d made love, their first time with no barrier between them, drawing each touch out and committing each caress to memory to give them something to hold on to in the nights ahead. He knew they’d kept each other on the brink for what seemed like hours until they’d finally allowed their passion to spill over and he remembered dozing briefly before getting aroused again, but he had no idea of actual times. Shaking his head, he answered as best he could, unhappily aware that his response tied in with the statement from the taxi driver. "I think it was probably around eleven o’clock."

The prosecutor nodded. "How long was Mr. Twist gone for?"

Ennis raised his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes then dropped one hand slightly and began to gnaw at his thumbnail. Chewing fiercely, he shrugged and shook his head. "I don’t know."

"You don’t know? Why not?"

"Because I fell asleep," Ennis replied with a weary sigh. "Jack reckoned he’d only be half an hour or so and I told him I’d still be awake when he got back. But the next thing I was aware of was him coming out of the bathroom and getting back into bed."

"And you didn’t look at a clock or ask Mr. Twist what time it was?"

Ennis shook his head again. "No. I just assumed I’d only been asleep for a short time."

"How did Mr. Twist seem when he returned? Was he edgy or distracted?"

"I don’t know. He seemed a little strange, but it was late and we were both tired and emotional, what with everything that had happened and the fact that Jack had to leave the next day."

"Strange?"

"He was desperate for me to hold him and...touch him," Ennis explained. "But, like I said, it had been a long, emotional day and..."

"Was there any sign of him having been involved in a fight?" the prosecutor cut in. "Did he have blood on his hands or his clothes?"

"No. He didn’t have any clothes on when he got into bed," Ennis said softly.

The prosecutor frowned. "Did Mr. Twist say anything about his taxi breaking down, forcing him to walk to your brother’s house?"

"Yeah, he told me about that," Ennis replied. "I noticed his hair was wet and I thought maybe it had started to rain, but he said he’d taken a shower when he got back because he was all hot and sweaty from walking."

"Did he say anything else?"

"Other than telling me he found his jacket, no. We...um...we had better things to do than talk," Ennis murmured, the tips of his ears reddening.

"Better things?" the prosecutor repeated, narrowing his eyes. "By that I assume you mean you and Mr. Twist became engaged in sexual activity?"

Ennis blushed deeper but his pride in what he and Jack shared pushed to the surface. "Yes. We made love," he answered defiantly.

"I see. And what about when you were finished? Did you check the time then, given that Mr. Twist had to be up early to catch a flight?"

Ennis looked down at his lap, twisting his hands together as he realised the damage his answers were doing to Jack’s defence. But he’d sworn to tell the truth and his ma had taught him from an early age how important that was. "Yeah," he muttered. "It was just before two in the morning."

"Two o’clock? But you said Mr. Twist left the hotel at eleven, and was only gone for around half an hour. Do you really expect the court to believe that you made love for two and a half hours?" the prosecutor spluttered incredulously.

Ennis met the prosecutor’s eyes, misery seeping through him. "No," he whispered.

"So how long had Mr. Twist been back in the room when you looked at the time?"

Ennis slumped back in his seat. "About forty five minutes."

The prosecutor nodded sagely. "So Mr. Twist was actually away from the hotel for well over two hours and, when he returned, he immediately took off the clothes he was wearing and had a shower? And, in your words, he seemed a little strange when he got back into bed, desperately needing to be held and comforted?"

The answer was barely audible. "Yes."

The prosecutor shook his head solemnly. "And yet you still expect the court to believe that all Mr. Twist did while he was away from the hotel was collect a forgotten jacket?"

Ennis closed his eyes. "Yes."

"Well, I’m sorry, Mr. del Mar, but I don’t. Do you want to know what I do believe? I believe Mr. Twist was incensed by the abuse inflicted upon you both by your brother, K.E. del Mar, and the men your brother allegedly owed money to. I believe he was frustrated by your brother’s strong opposition to the relationship between the two of you and by K.E.’s refusal to accept the money offered in an attempt to buy his approval. I believe..."

Jamie shot to his feet. "Objection!" he shouted. "Your Honour, counsel should wait until the end of the trial to make his closing statement!"

The judge opened his mouth to speak but the prosecutor carried on unhindered, his voice rising. "I believe he was terrified you would turn your back on that relationship in order to appease your brother and decided that the only way to safeguard the future he desired with you was to get rid of your brother once and for all..."

"Your Honour!" Jamie protested loudly.

The judge banged his gavel on the bench in a clear attempt to restore order. "Mr. Prosecutor..." he began.

The prosecutor still didn’t miss a step, looking over at Jack before continuing. "And I believe he left his jacket behind at K.E.’s house on purpose, giving him an excuse to return there alone, and the opportunity to carry out the murder he’d been planning ever since he arrived in Dublin."

The judge’s gavel crashed down on the bench once more. "Mr. Prosecutor, you are in grave danger of being held in contempt of court! The objection is sustained and the jury should..."

"No!" Ennis interrupted, his voice cracking. "That’s not true! He didn’t do it...he didn’t..."

The prosecutor walked away from the stand. "No further questions, Your Honour."

No Matter What - Chapter 21

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 09:09:52 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 21
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. I couldn't do this without your help, guidance and friendship.

First thing next morning, Jamie opened the case for the defence by calling the man from the car hire company who checked over the car when Jack returned it on the Sunday in question. In support of the man’s assertions, Jamie handed the judge a still photograph taken from the car hire office’s security camera showing Jack entering the office dressed in a clean shirt, rather than the bloodstained t-shirt K.E.’s elderly neighbour had mentioned. In addition, when questioning the man about the time of Jack’s arrival at the offices, Jamie produced the car hire company’s copy of the receipt Jack received: a computer printout with a timestamp in the top corner which showed the car had been returned at three thirty, thus highlighting another flaw in Mr. Connolly’s testimony.

Unable to deny the facts, the prosecutor restricted himself simply to pointing out that Jack could easily have changed his shirt between leaving K.E.’s house and arriving at the car hire offices. He also claimed Mr. Connolly had been unsure of the exact time he’d seen Jack and Ennis leave K.E.’s house, a point which Jamie objected to, asking the court reporter to read back the relevant section of Mr. Connolly’s testimony to remind the jurors what the old man had said. Suitably chastised, the prosecutor told the judge he had no further questions and sat down.

Next, Jamie called Ennis’s friend Kieran Fitzgerald, aiming to further refute the old man’s testimony. He began by enquiring how long Kieran had known Ennis and asking him to describe his first meeting with Jack. Kieran responded with the date and time then went on to give details of Ennis’s reaction to Jack’s arrival at the studio and explain what he’d said to Ennis to persuade him to go after Jack.

Once the basics were established, Jamie then moved on to the day of K.E.’s murder. When asked, Kieran testified that Jack was wearing a blue denim shirt when he arrived with Ennis to drop Ennis’s belongings off at his flat. He also stated that Jack and Ennis arrived at his flat at around three o’clock and left again fifteen minutes later in order to have plenty of time to return their hire car before the deadline of four o’clock.

Happy that he’d cast enough doubt on Mr. Connolly’s assertions, Jamie changed tack, turning back to Kieran with a new question. "Mr. Fitzgerald, can you tell the court why Mr. Twist and Mr. Ennis del Mar brought Mr. del Mar’s belongings to your flat, please?"

Kieran nodded. "Sure. Ennis planned to stay with me until the end of term."

"I see," Jamie said with a frown. "But why would he need to do that? I mean, he had a place to live, did he not? With his brother?"

"Yes, he did," Kieran replied. "But Jack...sorry, Mr. Twist...didn’t want Ennis to stay with K.E. any more. He was in a lot of trouble...K.E., I mean."

Jamie’s eyes narrowed. "Did you find it odd that Mr. Twist seemed to be dictating where Ennis should live? I mean, that’s not something a friend would normally do. Did it make you question the nature of Mr. Twist’s relationship with Ennis?"

"No, it didn’t," Kieran answered. "But then, I didn’t need to question it. The first time I met him, it was abundantly clear to me how Mr. Twist felt about Ennis and, although he protested at first, I knew Ennis felt the same way."

"What way was that, exactly?" Jamie asked.

Kieran shrugged. "They were in love with each other."

"Did that bother you?"

"Objection!" the prosecutor shouted. "I don’t see the relevance of the witness’ feelings about the defendant’s homosexual relationship with the deceased’s brother."

Jamie suppressed a grin as he heard mild amusement echo round the court. He turned to the bench. "Your Honour, the prosecution claimed Mr. del Mar’s opposition to the relationship between Mr. Twist and Ennis del Mar as motive for Mr. Twist to commit murder. I’m merely trying to establish whether Mr. Fitzgerald was also opposed to the relationship and, if so, why Mr. Twist didn’t threaten to kill him."

The judge remained stony-faced but Jamie saw the slightest of twinkles in his eye as he responded. "Fair enough, Mr. Taylor. You may proceed. Objection overruled."

Jamie turned back to Kieran who answered calmly. "No, it didn’t bother me. I was pleased that Ennis had found someone special."

Jamie nodded thoughtfully. "Are you gay, Mr. Fitzgerald?"

The prosecutor got to his feet again. "Objection! Your Honour, this is a murder trial, not an episode of Queer as Folk. The witness’ sexual orientation has no bearing on these proceedings."

"I think it does," Jamie snapped. "If the prosecution case is to be believed, Mr. Twist committed murder simply because someone disapproved of his lifestyle choices. I think the court deserves to hear whether that’s an everyday occurrence amongst the gay community."

The judge nodded. "I agree. Objection overruled."

"Thank you, Your Honour," Jamie said. "Mr. Fitzgerald, are you gay?" he repeated.

"Yes."

"And have you ever come across anyone who disapproves of your sexuality?"

Kieran snorted. "Of course. Sadly, it’s a fact of life for homosexual men and women." He sighed before continuing. "But you learn to turn the other cheek because otherwise you’d spend your whole life fighting."

"That can’t be easy," Jamie speculated.

"It’s not," Kieran answered, "especially when it’s your family or your partner’s family who disapprove. But if your relationship is strong enough, you learn to focus on each other and let the insults and threats wash over you."

"Thank you," Jamie said quietly, noting with pleasure that the jury seemed to be taking Kieran’s opinions seriously. But he didn’t want to push his luck, so he paused for a moment then frowned. "You said earlier that the deceased was in a lot of trouble. What sort of trouble?"

Kieran swallowed. "Ennis told me his brother was an alcoholic and a gambler. He owed a huge sum of money, which Ennis was trying to pay back in order to get his brother back on the straight and narrow. He set up an arrangement to pay monthly instalments, and it all went well for a while, with K.E. even helping to deliver the money. But K.E.’s addictions got the better of him and he skipped a couple of payments, spending the money on horses instead." He took a breath then carried on. "A few weeks back the guys K.E. was in debt with caught up with Ennis and beat him up, leaving him battered and bruised a couple of miles away from his house. That’s why Jack...Mr. Twist...wanted Ennis to live somewhere safe, somewhere they wouldn’t find him again."

"Mr. Twist must have been angry at K.E. del Mar for allowing Ennis to be attacked in that way." Jamie stated. "Would you say he was angry enough to want to kill Mr. del Mar?"

"Objection!" the prosecutor said loudly. "The witness can’t be expected to quantify the level of the defendant’s anger, particularly since he didn’t know the defendant well and has nothing to base his comparison on."

The judge nodded. "Sustained. Mr. Taylor, please rephrase your question."

"Of course, Your Honour," Jamie said with a sigh. "Mr. Fitzgerald, did Ennis tell you how Mr. Twist reacted when he found out the details of the attack and the reasons behind it?"

"Ennis said Jack was furious," Kieran admitted. "But Jack also knew Ennis still wanted to help K.E. escape from a life of addiction and debt, and he was committed to supporting Ennis in that aim, in spite of his own personal feelings towards K.E."

Jamie raised an eyebrow. "Do you know what he intended to do to help?"

"Yeah, I do. He came to the college to collect Ennis on the Friday before K.E. died and, while Ennis was getting his things together, Mr. Twist pulled me aside and asked me if I knew of anyone at the college, or anywhere else in Dublin, who was involved in helping alcoholics or other addicts beat their addictions. I didn’t know anyone personally, but there were a pile of leaflets and cards for all sorts of counsellors in the reception area of the radio studios so I found a couple of suitable ones for him," Kieran told the court. "When I handed them over he told me that, although he hated K.E. for the things he’d put Ennis through, he didn’t want Ennis to lose contact with his only remaining family so he wanted to give K.E. the opportunity to sort out his life. That’s why he...Mr. Twist...planned to lend K.E. the money to pay off his debts."

"Mr. Twist told you he was going to lend K.E. the money?" Jamie said with feigned surprise.

Kieran shook his head. "No, Ennis did, at the same time as he told me about K.E.’s problems. He wanted me to know he and Mr. Twist were dealing with the situation, to stop me worrying about him."

"And did it put your mind at rest?"

"Yeah," Kieran answered with a smile. "It was really obvious how much Mr. Twist cared about Ennis’s safety, but it was also clear that what he wanted most was for Ennis to be happy and if that meant K.E. being a part of Ennis’s life in the future, then he was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen."

"I see," Jamie said, nodding. "So, given everything you’ve said, both about the way gay folks learn to deal with disapproval and about the strength of the relationship between Mr. Twist and Ennis del Mar, do you think it likely that Mr. Twist would view K.E. del Mar’s refusal to accept the relationship as a reason to kill, knowing how devastated Ennis would be by the loss of his brother?"

The prosecutor was back on his feet in a flash but, before he could get any words out, Kieran answered with a firm shake of his head. "No. No, I don’t."

"Your Honour, I really must object," the prosecutor protested. "Counsel’s question calls for speculation and opinion rather than facts which can be verified or denied."

"It does, indeed," the judge agreed, scowling at Jamie. "Mr. Taylor, you were already warned about this. The last question, and the witness’ answer to it, will be struck from the record. Objection sustained."

Jamie held his hands up in an outward show of apology. Turning back to the witness, he smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Fitzgerald. No further questions."

***

The prosecutor stood up. "Mr. Fitzgerald, you said you’ve known Ennis del Mar for around ten months?"

"Yes, that’s right," Kieran answered.

"Did you become close friends straight away?"

Kieran shook his head. "Not really, no."

"Not really?" the prosecutor repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he...Ennis...was quite shy when we first met and he didn’t say much once the microphone was switched off. He kept to himself, really, so I wouldn’t say we were close back then."

"I see. So when did you become close enough for Mr. del Mar to confide in you about his brother’s money problems?"

Kieran drew in a sharp breath. "Ah...only after Jack...Mr. Twist...arrived in Dublin," he murmured.

The prosecutor’s brow furrowed. "So, let me get this straight. Before Mr. Twist came to Dublin you’d barely exchanged two words with Mr. del Mar outside of the confines of the radio station? But after Mr. Twist arrived, Mr. del Mar became desperate to share his deepest secrets with you and asked you to provide him with a place to stay, is that correct?"

"Yeah, I guess," Kieran muttered.

"Yes or no, Mr. Fitzgerald."

Kieran scowled. "Yes."

"How strange," the prosecutor commented. Shrugging, he went on. "You said earlier that it was Mr. Twist who wanted Ennis to move out of K.E.’s house..."

"Because he was scared the men K.E. owed money to would hurt Ennis again," Kieran interrupted.

The prosecutor raised an eyebrow. "Or so they told you, anyway."

"Objection," Jamie declared. "Counsel is making unfounded allegations."

The prosecutor looked up at the bench. "Your Honour, the witness just admitted that Mr. del Mar had never previously spoken to him about anything more serious than the weather, yet after Mr. Twist arrived in Dublin he suddenly became Mr. del Mar’s number one confidante. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be dubious about that."

The judge sighed. "Fair enough," he said. "But I suggest that, if you expect an answer from the witness, you should ask a question rather than making a statement. Objection overruled."

"Thank you, Your Honour. Mr Fitzgerald, did you question Mr. del Mar’s story at all, or did you simply accept it as fact?"

"I believed him," Kieran answered. "Ennis had no reason to lie to me, and the bruises on his face were proof enough that someone had attacked him."

"And you didn’t find it strange that Mr. del Mar decided to share something so serious with you, seemingly out of the blue?"

Kieran shrugged. "Maybe a little, but I think what happened when Jack first arrived in Dublin proved to Ennis he could trust me."

"If you say so," the prosecutor said with a frown. "Alright, so, based on his story and the evidence of what he maintained was a beating, you were happy to let Mr. del Mar move in with you?"

"Yes."

"That was very accommodating, especially given that Mr. del Mar claimed a gang of loan sharks was chasing him round Dublin. Were you not nervous about getting involved in such a dangerous situation?"

Kieran smiled. "No. My partner is a black belt in both judo and karate." Once the laughter from around the court died down, he grew more serious. "No, I wasn’t nervous. Both Ennis and Mr. Twist assured me they were dealing with the situation and, even though we hadn’t been particularly close up to that point, I’d spent a lot of time with Ennis and I liked him. I wanted to do what I could to help."

"Did it ever occur to you that Mr. Twist might be trying to bribe K.E. del Mar with the offer of money to pay off his debts? Trying to buy his acceptance of the relationship Mr. Twist had formed with his younger brother?"

Kieran pursed his lips. "No, it didn’t. Jack didn’t want anything from K.E. All he wanted was to ensure it would be safe for Ennis to go on living in Dublin until he finished his college course."

"How much longer did Ennis have to go at college?"

"At that point, back in May? Around three weeks."

"What about afterwards? Did Mr. Twist or Mr. del Mar tell you what they planned to do then?"

"Yeah. Ennis was going to move to England to live with Mr. Twist," Kieran answered.

The prosecutor’s eyes widened. "How did Mr. del Mar’s older brother react to that news?"

"I don’t know. Ennis never told me," Kieran replied, shrugging.

"I can’t imagine he was happy about it."

Jamie jumped up. "Objection, Your Honour! The witness just stated that he didn’t know how K.E. del Mar reacted. Counsel’s opinion is irrelevant."

"Sustained," the judge replied without waiting to hear any excuses. "The prosecution’s last comment will be struck from the record."

The prosecutor faltered, his plan for further questions clearly disrupted. He ran a hand over his face then consulted his notes, seemingly searching for another plan of attack. Finally, he sighed, his eyes showing desperation. "Mr. Fitzgerald, given what you know about K.E. del Mar, do you believe he would simply have let his younger brother up sticks and move to England to live with his homosexual partner without putting up a fight?"

"Probably not, no," Kieran responded.

"And, given what you’ve said about Mr. Twist, about how he was determined to protect his partner from the gang K.E. del Mar owed money to, do you believe that Mr. Twist would have walked away and left Ennis in the clutches of his brother?"

"No."

"So, if K.E. del Mar tried stop his brother leaving Dublin, do you believe Mr. Twist would fight back, even if that meant using physical force?" the prosecutor asked.

Jamie stood quickly. "Objection! Your Honour, counsel used the witness’ lack of familiarity with my client to his advantage earlier yet he now expects Mr. Fitzgerald to be an expert on Mr. Twist’s tendency towards physical violence. He can’t have it both ways!"

"I’m merely attempting to establish how strong the relationship between Ennis del Mar and Mr. Twist was, Your Honour," the prosecutor argued.

"Then I suggest you ask that instead," the judge answered. "Objection sustained."

The prosecutor sighed. "Mr. Fitzgerald, do you believe that the relationship between Mr. Twist and Mr. del Mar was the most important thing in Mr. Twist’s life, to be protected at all costs?"

Kieran hesitated for a second, clearly expecting Jamie to object once more, before giving his answer. "Yes."

The prosecutor nodded. "Thank you. No further questions."

***

Immediately after lunch, Jack sat nervously in the dock as Jamie stood and called Ennis to the stand. His hands shook as the door at the side of the court opened and his man walked into the room, and he closed his eyes briefly, his first sight of Ennis in a month bringing the tears he’d managed to hold back during his time in prison flooding to the surface. When he finally opened them again, he found himself looking straight into Ennis’s eyes, the love he saw there making his heart soar, even as the fear on Ennis’s face made his nerves jangle. While Ennis pledged to tell the truth, he slid his hand into his pocket, running shaky fingers over the tattered note that had been his anchor over the last few days, its words already starting to fade from being read so often. But he no longer needed to read them; this time it’ll be forever the only truth he needed to stay strong and keep believing.

As he watched Ennis take a seat, he met Ennis’s eyes once more and smiled, silently sending his man a response to the note. I love you. That’s all that matters now, no matter what.

***

Ennis leaned back in his seat, his eyes never leaving Jack’s, and surreptitiously ran one hand over the lapel of his jacket, gently touching the small metal badge he’d pinned there just before heading to the court. The badge had belonged to his great grandfather, worn proudly on a cap throughout the Easter Rising all those years ago, and he recalled his da telling him that the old man had believed it would protect him during battle. When it fell out of the same box his smart shoes were in that morning, Ennis was compelled to wear it, hoping its ability to ward off evil and bring luck to its owner hadn’t faded with the years.

Emboldened by thoughts of the courage shown by his countrymen in fighting for what was theirs, he allowed the corners of his mouth to turn upwards in the faintest of smiles, his nerves about seeing Jack again melting away in the face of his determination to ensure they would be together again for good as soon as possible.

***

Jamie approached the stand and gave Ennis a reassuring nod. "Mr. del Mar, can you tell the court how you first met the defendant, Mr. Twist, please?"

"Yes," Ennis replied. "We met at a stag weekend in Barcelona, last July. My cousin’s fiancé...now husband...and Jack are good friends and I was invited because I was staying with my cousin’s family over in England at the time."

"I see," Jamie said. "Were you on holiday at your cousin’s house?"

Ennis shook his head. "Not exactly. My brother was in hospital because he’d been attacked and my aunt and uncle were concerned about me, thinking I’d starve without K.E.’s wages coming in. They insisted I go and stay with them for a while, even though I told them I’d be fine."

Jamie smiled briefly at the accurate portrayal of Sinead’s parents before continuing. "Did you become friends with Mr. Twist right away?"

"Pretty much. I was quite shy and I felt like a bit of an outsider, since all the other guys on the stag weekend knew each other, but Jack was really friendly towards me and he stuck up for me when the others teased me about being quiet," Ennis answered, affection burning bright in his eyes. "On our first full day in Barcelona, I decided to go and explore the city because I didn’t have the money to spend all day drinking and Jack offered to come with me, to keep me company. He was really chatty, telling me about his family and his life, and I found I could talk to him, too."

"What sort of things did you talk to him about?"

Ennis took a breath and glanced across at Jack. "I told him about my parents dying in a car accident when I was eleven, and about how hard it had been on both me and my brother. And I told him about K.E.’s drink problem." He let his eyes linger on Jack for a moment then looked back at Jamie. "K.E. drank a lot."

"What about your brother’s debts? Did you tell Mr. Twist about those?"

"No," Ennis answered, shaking his head. "I told him it was hard to make ends meet, but I didn’t tell him why."

"But you were aware of the seriousness of your brother’s money problems?"

Ennis nodded solemnly. "Yes, I was." With a soft sigh, he began to tell the court about K.E.’s gambling and alcoholism and the debts his brother had built up as a result of both. He spoke quietly as he recounted the tales he’d told Jamie in the college’s coffee lounge, leaving no-one in any doubt about the severity of the threat the gang posed to both brothers. When he reached the point where the gang put K.E. in hospital, he paused, waiting for Jamie to take the reins once more, just as they’d agreed.

"So why didn’t you tell Mr. Twist about the trouble your brother was in? Maybe he could have helped," Jamie asked.

Ennis sighed. "I wasn’t used to having someone I could confide in, and it felt like an awful lot to lay on someone I’d only just met. And I...I wanted him to like me for me, not because he felt sorry for me."

"Were you attracted to him from the moment you met him?" Jamie asked.

Ennis’s head dropped slightly and a faint flush rose to his cheeks, but he replied calmly. "Yes."

Jamie nodded. "And this attraction was mutual?"

"Yes."

"Did the attraction lead to something more than friendship on the stag weekend?"

"Y...yes."

"When did that happen?"

Ennis blushed deeper and he began to chew his thumbnail in a clear attempt to mask his embarrassment. "Later that same day...the day we spent together exploring the city," he mumbled, fixing his eyes on Jack again. "We were out with the rest of the guys for drinks in the evening but when we returned to our hotel, to the room we were sharing, we...um...we..."

"You had sex?" Jamie prompted gently.

"Yeah," Ennis breathed, casting his eyes downwards. "I...um...I ran away afterwards, terrified by what we’d done. I spent the day just walking, thinking about what had happened, what I was feeling, what I wanted. I went back when it dawned on me that what I wanted most was...was to be happy."

Jamie cocked his head to the side. "And Mr. Twist made you happy?"

"Yes," Ennis replied, raising his head. "He did...and he still does."

"Had you ever felt that way about a man before?"

"Not about someone specific," Ennis answered with a shrug. "Deep down, maybe, but I kept the feelings buried inside."

Jamie frowned. "Why?"

"Because I was scared," Ennis responded honestly. "Scared of who I was and scared of what it meant. But, most of all, I was scared of my brother finding out." Seeing the next question in Jamie’s eyes, he carried on. "K.E. hated gay folks. He and his friends once attacked a gay man in a street near our house and I was frightened he’d do the same to me, if he ever found out."

Jamie turned away, walking back to his table to check some notes, giving both himself and Ennis a moment to prepare for what lay ahead. He’d talked at length to Ennis about bringing up the subject of the abuse, trying to overcome Ennis’s ingrained reluctance to share the details with anyone. He understood Ennis’s hesitation, knowing how long the younger man had kept the terrible secret and how used Ennis had become to defending his brother, but he’d eventually managed to convince Ennis that ignoring the abuse would make it impossible to explain why Jack had rushed to Dublin. They both knew the prosecution would view the abuse as more motivation for Jack to commit murder but Jamie was also well aware that, provided he handled it correctly, it would become completely clear to the jury why Jack would never do anything to hurt Ennis. Taking a breath to compose himself, he turned back to the stand.

"Why were you so scared of your brother, Ennis?"

Ennis bit his quivering lip then looked over at Jack. He began to speak quietly, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on Jack’s face like Jamie had suggested, telling the story to Jack rather than a courtroom of strangers, just as he had on a rainy night in the privacy of Jack’s flat. He spoke shakily of K.E.’s temper, fuelled by alcohol and frustration, of the times his brother had lashed out, of the bruises and scars and of the sheer terror that somehow K.E. would discover his deepest secret. Never letting his gaze waver, he recounted the details of the cigarette burns K.E. had inflicted and the knife wound he’d suffered when his brother found the gay porn magazine, his voice occasionally cracking as the memories overpowered him. He was oblivious to the shocked murmurs around the court and the sympathy now etched on the faces of many of the jurors, seeing only the sadness in Jack’s eyes at the ordeal he was being forced to endure. When he finally got to the end of his tale, the last sight he saw before he closed his eyes to stop his emotions from spilling over was Jack mouthing the words I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

As silence descended around the court, Jamie approached the bench and quietly requested a break. The judge had no hesitation in agreeing.

No Matter What - Chapter 20

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 09:08:42 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 20
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. I couldn't do this without your help, guidance and friendship.

Jamie stood slowly and approached the witness. "I just have a few questions, Mr. Connolly. You said you were out in your garden when you heard Mr. Twist threaten to kill Mr. del Mar?"

The old man nodded. "Yes, that’s right. I took my rubbish out then I stopped to clear some weeds from the flowerbed."

"And did Mr. Twist or either of the del Mar brothers see you?"

"I don’t know," the old man answered with a frown. "I bent down to sort the weeds so I don’t think so."

Jamie nodded briefly then cocked his head to the side, a curious expression on his face. "What time would you say that was?"

"What time?" the old man repeated. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Jamie answered calmly, "What time was it when you went out to the garden? When you heard Mr. Twist threaten to kill Mr. del Mar?"

"I’m not sure," the old man said, his brow furrowing as he obviously tried to think. "I usually have a late lunch on Sundays...about two...then take a nap. I don’t suppose that day was any different so by the time I woke up and washed the dishes it would probably be around four o’clock. Aye, that sounds right," he added, nodding confidently.

Jamie smiled. "Thank you. Now, you also said Mr. Twist was wearing a blood stained t-shirt. Can you just tell me how you know that, since you were bent over removing weeds from your flowerbed?"

The old man blinked. "Ah well...ah...I stood up after I heard the threat so I’d be able to give a description to the police if anything happened. I saw Mr. Twist just before he got into the taxi," he said, clearly proud of himself for coming up with a public spirited answer.

"What taxi?" Jamie asked, frowning. "You said earlier Mr. Twist and the deceased’s younger brother were loading boxes into a car." He grinned inwardly as he heard a slight murmur from the jury.

"Oh...yes. Yes, that’s right. They did have a car. I meant I stood up just after Mr. Twist threatened Mr. del Mar and saw him clearly as he got into the car," the old man mumbled, suddenly sounding much less confident.

Jamie nodded. "That was very brave," he said admiringly.

"B...brave?" the old man stammered.

"Well, yes. I mean, you just heard Mr. Twist threaten to kill Mr. del Mar, and he was only a few metres away. I don’t know about the folks on the jury, but I think I would have stayed hidden, in case he decided to turn his violent streak on me, knowing I was a witness to his threat. I’m impressed you had the courage to stand up just so you could get a description. If only everyone was as vigilant as you." Jamie walked over to his table for a moment and consulted his notes then turned back. "One final question, Mr. Connolly. You told the police you’re a teetotaller, yet there was an open bottle of expensive malt whiskey sitting on the table in your living room when they came to take your statement. That seems strange to me. Can you explain?"

The prosecutor got to his feet. "Objection, Your Honour. Irrelevant."

"Your Honour, the prosecution is relying heavily on Mr. Connolly as a witness, but I believe many parts of his testimony are inaccurate. I think I have a right to establish whether Mr. Connolly may have been under the influence of alcohol when he supposedly saw Mr. Twist leaving Mr. del Mar’s house," Jamie said.

The judge nodded curtly. "Overruled. The witness may answer the question."

"I wasn’t under the influence," the old man said defensively. "It was a present and it was open when I got it."

"It was open when you got it," Jamie said with a chuckle. "Well, that’s a new one. Who gave it to you?"

"I...I don’t remember. A friend, I think," the old man answered.

Jamie raised an eyebrow. "A friend who didn’t know you were a teetotaller?" he said. "When did you get this bizarre gift?"

The old man shrugged. "A few days ago."

"Right," Jamie said. "So you were given open bottle of malt whiskey a few days ago by a friend, despite the fact you don’t drink, and you kept it sitting on your living room table?" He shook his head and looked over at the jury as he spoke again. "I don’t think you got the whiskey from a friend at all, Mr. Connolly. I think it was a bribe from someone who realised you might have overheard the commotion in Mr. del Mar’s house that night. Someone who didn’t know you don’t drink. And I think that person told you what to say to the police both on the phone and in your statement. I think..."

"Objection, Your Honour!" the prosecutor shouted.

Jamie glanced up at the judge and smiled, not waiting for the verdict. "No further questions, Your Honour."

***

After a brief comfort break, the prosecution case resumed with a taxi driver who had been asked by a man answering Jack’s description to drive to K.E.’s address late on the Sunday night, then continued with the manager of Jack’s bank who testified to the amount of money Jack had withdrawn on the Friday morning. Jamie quickly dismissed the taxi drivers’ testimony, since the man could neither prove it was Jack who got into his cab because the passenger paid in cash, nor that the passenger had actually gone to K.E.’s house given that the taxi broke down a half mile or so short of its destination. In cross examining the bank manager he pointed out that the defendant had never denied withdrawing the money and reiterated that the manager had no knowledge of why the money was required or of where it ended up. Although he didn’t let it show, he was secretly pleased the prosecution were resorting to such insignificant witnesses, convinced that it showed their case wasn’t as strong as they were trying to make out. As he settled back into his seat, waiting for the last witness to be called, he allowed himself a smile. With defence witnesses who could prove the old man was lying at several key points in his testimony, and Ennis to explain all about the blood on Jack’s shirt and the fingerprints on the skillet, he was certain his case would see Jack acquitted.

***

"The prosecution calls Mr. Pat Quinn."

Jack sat up straighter in the dock as a burly man made his way to the witness box. Jamie had discussed all the other witnesses with him, so he’d known what to expect, but this man was an unknown, a witness Jamie had only found out about the previous night. Jamie had stayed calm, reminding him that the defence case was strong, but he couldn’t help but worry about what the man would say, and what implications his testimony would have for his own defence.

The prosecutor stepped forward. "Mr. Quinn. Can you tell the court what your relationship was to the deceased, Mr. K.E. del Mar, please?"

"Sure. I was a friend of his, going back to when we were both teenagers and we played hurling together," the witness answered.

The prosecutor nodded. "And you kept in touch as you got older?"

"Yeah. We would have a pint together every couple of weeks, sometimes more regularly."

"And when was the last time you saw him?"

The witness gave a rueful smile. "The night of Sunday the eighteenth of May at about seven o’clock. I remember it because I’d just lost in the final of my golf club’s championship and I was in the pub drowning my sorrows."

"Sorry to hear that, Mr. Quinn," the prosecutor said sympathetically. "I’ve never been very good at golf myself. Now, can you tell me how Mr. del Mar seemed that night? Was he acting strangely? Did he seem distracted, or upset?"

"Yeah," the witness said. "He was definitely upset. He was never the calmest of characters anyway, but that night he was really angry and pis...sorry, wound up...about something. I asked him what was up, told him he could talk to me."

"What did he say?"

"He started rambling about his brother and money and someone called Jack. He wasn’t making much sense so I got him a drink and told him to relax. Once he was calm, I asked him again. He told me his little brother Ennis had come home a couple of days earlier with some guy in tow, someone he’d met on a stag weekend. K.E. said the guy’s name was Jack Twist." The witness paused and looked pointedly at Jack in the dock then switched his gaze back to the jury. "K.E. didn’t realise at first, but it soon became obvious to him that the other man was qu...gay...and Ennis was with him, if you know what I mean."

The prosecutor nodded. "I do, Mr. Quinn. But can you spell it out, so there’s no confusion?"

"Sure," the witness replied. "It became obvious to K.E. that his brother and this man were involved with each other...that they were in a homosexual relationship."

The prosecutor waited until the gasps from the jury and the public gallery subsided before asking his next question, aware that every pair of eyes in the building was now trained on Jack, and many of them were showing clear signs of hostility. "How did Mr. del Mar react to that?" he finally asked.

"He was angry and disgusted," the witness said. "He didn’t understand how his little brother could be that way and he didn’t want that sort of life for Ennis. He said he tried to stop Ennis going anywhere, but Mr. Twist fought him and then dragged Ennis from the house. K.E. had a bad wound on his cheek which he said Mr. Twist inflicted on him."

"And this happened on Sunday the eighteenth?" the prosecutor asked.

"No, no that all happened the previous Thursday. But Ennis and Mr. Twist went back to K.E.’s house again on the Sunday, this time to get Ennis’s belongings. Mr. Twist had apparently encouraged Ennis to move out."

The prosecutor frowned. "That must have angered Mr. del Mar."

"Yeah, it did," the witness replied. "He told me he tried again to reason with his brother, but Mr. Twist was very forceful and Ennis went along with what he said. When they were ready to leave, Mr. Twist got up in K.E.’s face and threatened to kill him, just because he was trying to save his little brother from a life of sin."

In the dock, Jack snorted then quickly disguised it as a cough. The prosecutor glared at him before turning his attention back to the witness. "And did Mr. del Mar say what Mr. Twist did then?"

The witness nodded. "Yeah, he said Mr. Twist pushed an envelope full of money at him and told him to stay the fu...sorry, to stay out of Ennis’s life. K.E. figured Mr. Twist must have found out about his money troubles and decided he could try to buy K.E.’s acceptance of their perverted lifestyle. He said he refused to take Mr. Twist’s bribe, telling him he would never accept his little brother being like that." He paused for a moment, shaking his head. "I’d never seen him so angry. He was really livid, but he was also a little bit scared, I think. He didn’t want to give up on Ennis, but he said Mr. Twist was very determined to keep him away and he felt Mr. Twist would stop at nothing to ensure that happened."

"Did he tell you what he planned to do about the situation?"

The witness shook his head. "No. I got the feeling he was going to track them down and try one more time to save his brother, but I can’t be sure." He took a deep breath. "Of course, he didn’t need to bother because Mr. Twist came back later and carried out his threat," he added angrily.

"Objection," Jamie declared, getting to his feet once more. "The witness has no knowledge of what happened to Mr. del Mar after they went their separate ways."

"Sustained," the judge said, nodding.

The prosecutor cut in before the judge could lecture his witness. "What time did you and Mr. del Mar part company, Mr. Quinn?"

"Just before nine o’clock," the witness answered. "I had to get home to put my son to bed."

"And how was Mr. del Mar by that time?"

"He was still angry, but he was also pretty drunk and he bought a half bottle of whiskey from the bar, too, so I assumed he was planning to go home and drink himself to sleep, to stop himself thinking about Ennis and that man," the witness told the court. "I hope the drink at least numbed his pain as he was butchered," he added with a sigh.

Jamie jumped up but the prosecutor stepped in before he could raise his objection. "Thank you, Mr. Quinn. That’ll be all. No further questions, Your Honour."

***

"You mentioned Mr. del Mar had money troubles, Mr. Quinn. Do you know how serious those troubles were?" Jamie asked, starting his cross examination.

"I know he had a gambling problem, if that’s what you mean," the witness answered with a shrug. "And I know he struggled to keep a job, which made it hard for him and his brother to make ends meet. But that’s all I know."

Jamie nodded. "So he never mentioned owing a large sum of money to anyone?"

The witness frowned and shook his head. "No."

"So, as far as you knew, he wasn’t in any great trouble financially? No more so than most other folks these days?"

"No," the witness repeated.

Jamie pondered the response for a moment, his eyebrows wrinkling in confusion. "So why would Mr. Twist, who had only just met him, think Mr. del Mar’s money troubles were so serious that he could be bought off in order to keep him away from his younger brother and Mr. Twist?"

"Objection, Your Honour," the prosecutor said. "Calls for speculation."

"No more so than your questions did," the judge replied. "I’ll allow it, for now. Please answer the question, Mr. Quinn."

The witness blinked. "I...I don’t know. Maybe K.E.’s troubles were more serious and Ennis told Mr. Twist that."

"Maybe," Jamie said softly. "And maybe whoever Mr. del Mar owed money to was putting pressure on him to pay it back so Mr. Twist gave him the money to help him, rather than to buy him off?" Out of the corner of his eye, Jamie saw the prosecution lawyer get to his feet and he held up his hand before the man could speak. "It’s alright, I’ll withdraw the question," he said, satisfied the suggestion had already planted itself in the jury’s minds.

Jamie paused to take a drink of water then turned back to the court, scratching his head. "You said you met Mr. del Mar every couple of weeks for a drink, Mr. Quinn?"

"Yes, that’s right."

"And it was a pretty regular arrangement, right? No long gaps between meetings that you can remember."

"Not that I can think of."

"So presumably you remember Mr. del Mar being in hospital for a couple of weeks, almost a year ago now?" Jamie asked. "I mean, if your meetings were regular, you must have enquired about him when he didn’t show?"

"I...uh...I heard on the grapevine he was in hospital," the witness said. "So I knew he wasn’t going to be in the pub."

"Oh, okay," Jamie said with a nod. "Did you go and visit him?"

"Sorry?"

Jamie shrugged. "It’s a simple question. Did you go and visit Mr. del Mar when he was in hospital? Because, you know, I’d like to think someone I’d been friends with since I was a teenager, someone I met every couple of weeks for a pint for my whole adult life, would come and visit me if I was in hospital."

The witness’s eyes danced nervously round the court, apparently searching for inspiration before responding. Finally his gaze fell back on Jamie. "I...uh...no. No, I didn’t visit him."

"Why not?"

"Objection," the prosecutor said firmly. "Defence counsel is badgering the witness."

Jamie rolled his eyes. "I’m just trying to establish why someone who claims to have been a close friend of the deceased for over fifteen years would stay away when his friend was in hospital. It seems like a fair question to me."

"And to me," the judge responded. "Mr. Quinn?"

"I...uh...I he...heard K.E. was beaten up and I...I didn’t want to get involved in anything like that," the witness stammered, his shoulders sagging. "I’ve got two kids to think of."

Jamie nodded. "And did you happen to hear who attacked Mr. del Mar, and why?"

"No!" the witness answered, much too quickly.

"Mr. Quinn, can I remind you that you’re under oath?" Jamie asked calmly. Without waiting for the witness to answer, he continued. "Now, do you know why Mr. del Mar was attacked?"

The witness sighed deeply and put his head in his hands. "He was up to his eyes in debt," he whispered. "Th...they attacked him because he couldn’t pay it back."

"They?" Jamie pressed.

"I don’t know," the witness murmured, raising his head a fraction. "I don’t know who they are, I swear. K.E. never told me."

Jamie turned away from the witness, considering carefully whether to push the man further. It seemed likely Malachy’s men had primed the witness on what to say in court, and it was becoming clear his friendship with K.E. hadn’t been anywhere near as strong as the prosecution suggested, but he was fairly convinced the man genuinely didn’t know the names of those who had murdered K.E. But he had to ensure the jury understood that the witness was unreliable.

"So not only did you not visit your best friend when he was in hospital, but he chose not to share any of the details of his financial difficulties with you?" he said scathingly as he walked back to the stand. "Are you sure you and Mr. del Mar were friends, Mr. Quinn?"

The prosecutor got to his feet to object but Jamie was one step ahead of him. "Never mind, Mr. Quinn," he said with a shake of his head, "you don’t need to answer that. But I am curious about something. At the start of your testimony, you stated that Mr. del Mar’s money problems were no more serious than anyone else’s...yet now you seem to be saying his debts were so severe that those he owed the money to resorted to violence when he couldn’t pay up. So which is it?"

The witness shrunk back from Jamie’s glare. "I...they were bad. The debts, I mean. Really bad."

"So why did you lie, earlier?" Jamie demanded.

"I...I don’t know," the witness mumbled. "I’m sorry."

Jamie sighed deeply. "Alright," he eventually said, satisfied the point had been made. "Just one more thing, then. You said Mr. del Mar owed a large sum of money to men who seemingly would stop at nothing to get their money back, and you also said he wouldn’t take Mr. Twist’s money because he felt it was tainted by the nature of Mr. Twist’s relationship with his younger brother, is that right?"

"Yes," the witness answered with a scowl.

Jamie rubbed his chin thoughtfully then met the witness’s eyes. "So did you pay for the drinks he had in the pub that night and the half bottle of whiskey he took away with him?"

The witness shook his head. "No. I bought the first drink, but K.E. bought a few rounds after that. And he paid for his own half bottle."

"So where did he get the money from?" Jamie asked.

"Wh...I...uh," the witness stuttered, the colour draining from his face as he clearly saw the trap Jamie had set. "I don’t know," he admitted in a whisper.

The corners of Jamie’s mouth twitched. "Thank you, Mr. Quinn. No further questions, Your Honour."

***

Ennis jumped to his feet as soon as Jamie entered the small room deep below the court from where he’d watched the day’s proceedings via closed circuit television.

"Why the hell didn’t you keep at him?" he yelled. "He could have told them who attacked K.E.! He could have...he could have told them everything and proved Jack’s innocence. He could have..."

Jamie laid his briefcase on the table and faced him. "Ennis, calm down," he said quietly. "I know you want this to be over and I do too, for your sake and for Jack’s, but going after Mr. Quinn wasn’t going to achieve that. Even if he did know the names of those who attacked K.E....which I don’t believe he did...implicating them at this stage merely tosses another possible killer into the ring, rather than proving Jack’s innocence. There’s no way the judge would have thrown the case out just because K.E. had a debt and someone beat him up to get their money back, whether the witness could name the aggressor or not. If anything, this new knowledge gives credence to Mr. Quinn’s claim that Jack tried to buy K.E.’s acceptance of your relationship, knowing K.E. was in financial difficulty. His story about K.E. throwing Jack’s money back at him because he refused to acknowledge your relationship was extremely believable, Ennis, especially to folks on the jury who are inclined to think homosexuality is a sin."

"But it was a lie!" Ennis snapped indignantly. "You showed that when you proved K.E. had money that night!"

Jamie sighed. "Yes, we know it was a lie but K.E. having money doesn’t prove to the jury that he got it from Jack. It could just as easily have been his wages."

"He never had any of his wages left by a Sunday night," Ennis said with a snort of derision.

Jamie took a seat and looked up at Ennis. "Yeah, I know," he said, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Look, Ennis, the prosecution have had their chance, and I think I’ve done a pretty good job of highlighting the weaknesses in their case. Now it’s our turn."

Ennis sighed and pulled up a chair opposite Jamie. "Okay," he said softly. "What’s the plan?"

"Well, we’ve got your friend Kieran and the guy from the car hire company, both of whom can testify that you and Jack left K.E.’s house long before four o’clock, when the neighbour claimed he saw you," Jamie answered. "And the car hire surveillance camera shows Jack wearing a shirt, not a blood-stained t-shirt."

"Which proves Mr. Connolly was lying!" Ennis said excitedly.

Jamie held a hand up to calm him. "Not really. He’s an old man and he could just be confused about days and times. In fact, your testimony backs that up, since Jack did have K.E.’s blood on his t-shirt the previous Thursday. But once the jury hears the truth about K.E.’s money problems and you tell them how his blood got on Jack’s t-shirt and how Jack’s fingerprints got on the skillet, I’m certain they’ll find in Jack’s favour."

"So will I be testifying right after Kieran and the car hire guy?" Ennis asked with trepidation.

"Yeah. But you don’t need to worry," Jamie told him. "Malachy’s men aren’t stupid enough to try anything in court, and I promise you’ll be looked after once you’ve testified. Jack would never forgive me if anything happened to you because I put you on the stand."

Ennis’s breath hitched. "I’m not worried about that," he said bravely. "It’s just..."

"What?"

"It’s just...I haven’t seen him in a month and I’ve missed him so much. I’m scared I won’t be able to hide my feelings for him and the jury will hate me...hate us...because of who we are to each other," Ennis mumbled. "Seeing him on that screen today was hard enough. Being close enough to touch him is going to be torture."

Jamie stood up and came over to where Ennis sat, laying a hand on Ennis’s shoulder. "I know," he said gently. "But the sooner we get you up there and let the jury hear your story, the sooner we can bring this trial to an end and you and Jack can get on with building a life together. Just concentrate on that and you’ll be fine. Okay?"

Ennis wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. "Okay," he whispered.

No Matter What - Chapter 19

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:49:23 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 19
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. I couldn't do this without your help, guidance and friendship.

Author's Note: So here we are again, a little later than originally anticipated, but better late than never, right? Seriously, I know this chapter has been a long time coming, and I really appreciate your patience. Believe me, it was frustrating for me, too.

The good news is that the next four chapters are with my beta and I've written some more beyond that so, barring major disaster, I should be able to post one chapter a week until this story is finished.

Anyway, without further ado...on with the story.

Late that afternoon, Jack appeared in court to be formally charged with K.E.’s murder. As Jamie had predicted, he was remanded in custody until his trial, which was set to commence in a month’s time.

Once the hearing was over, Jamie sat with him while he waited to be transferred from the courtroom. He was quiet and withdrawn, clearly upset by the proceedings, and although Jamie tried to reassure him, it seemed like nothing was getting through. Long moments of silence passed before he finally spoke, his voice low and lifeless.

"Is he okay?"

Jamie turned to face him. "He’s fine, Jack. He was pretty hostile towards me at first, but I apologised for the way I treated him in Barcelona and tried to explain why I acted so badly. Eventually he opened up and gave me a lot of really useful information...once I managed to get him to stop asking about you, anyway."

"I thought he might be too scared to talk."

"He is scared," Jamie answered with a brief nod. "But his fear is far outweighed by his determination to do whatever he can to help you. He said he’ll do anything, and he’s not kidding."

Jack raised his head, concern written all over his face. "Jesus, Jamie, I don’t want him to put himself in danger. Those guys are still out there, and they might not want to stop at one brother."

Jamie hushed him. "Don’t worry about that. I won’t let him take any stupid risks. We’ll talk about it more in a couple of days, but for now you need to trust me to keep him safe."

"I don’t know..." he whispered.

"Trust me," Jamie repeated. "I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure not only that he stays safe over the next few weeks, but also that neither of you have to worry about the ghosts of the past catching up with you in the future."

***

Over the next four weeks Jamie spent as much time as possible in Dublin, regularly visiting both Jack and Ennis and using the information gleaned from their discussions to dig further into the lives of Malachy, Brendan, and the rest of the gang who had terrorised the brothers. Knowing that Malachy was likely to have eyes everywhere, he hired a couple of young law students to aid his quest, aware that local accents asking questions would be less likely to raise suspicion. Their investigations took them all round the seedier parts of the city and they soon established that K.E. was just one of dozens of men and women who owed money to Malachy and his cohorts. Armed with that knowledge, it didn’t take much more probing to discover that K.E. wasn’t the only one who had paid the ultimate price for his failure to pay back his debt. Jamie quickly realised it wasn’t the debt itself that caused so many...K.E. included...to get tangled up in a trap from which there was no escape. Instead it was the interest rates, coupled with the tendency Malachy had of doubling those rates every time a payment was missed, that left the debtor floundering, the boots and knives of Malachy’s henchmen hovering over them at every turn.

While the students did their job, Jamie spent hours at the local library, painstakingly trawling through newspaper articles relating to the men Ennis had identified as the gang’s main threats. The stories revealed a high number of court appearances, two dozen or so combined years behind bars and many more instances where a particular gang member was wanted for questioning in relation to a reported crime.

But no matter how much research he did or who his helpers spoke to, he couldn’t find one person willing to stand up in court and point the finger that could acquit Jack. Numerous bar owners and betting shop managers told tales of their dwindling clientele, driven away by their fear of falling into Malachy’s net, the temptation of the crisp notes he waved under their noses too powerful to resist unless they stayed far away. But neither they nor their customers were prepared to tell their stories to the jury, each person Jamie spoke to pointing out that, if his plan failed, they would just have signed their own death certificates.

Despite his difficulties, he always ensured he spoke to Ennis on the phone before going out to the prison to see Jack, knowing Jack’s first question would be about Ennis’s well-being. And, after each visit, he took the time to either call or drop in on Ennis to let him know how Jack was bearing up. As Jack’s trial date moved closer, he found himself visiting each man solely to pass on news of the other, having long since passed the point where either man could provide him with any new information to help Jack’s defence.

Finally, just days before the trial was due to get underway, he took a break from writing his opening argument and took one last trip to the library to read a story he’d uncovered the previous day. The twenty year old article told of the trial of a local man accused of aggravated assault and extortion and revealed that the man had been acquitted when his best friend provided an alibi. It went on to say that the Gards discovered new evidence shortly after the trial proving the friend had lied. Speculation was rife that the friend...a well known, successful businessman...would almost certainly have been sent to jail himself for perjury, had he not suddenly upped sticks and emigrated to the United States with his wife and young son. The acquitted man’s name was one Ennis had mentioned several times and Jamie clearly recalled Ennis saying that this particular man seemed much less comfortable with his actions than most of Malachy’s men.

At the foot of the article, the newspaper had printed a photo of the acquitted man, standing shoulder to shoulder with his best friend, the friend’s young son standing in front of them. Peering closely at it, Jamie suddenly realised that, while the friend was considerably shorter than he was, his facial features were not dissimilar to Jamie’s own. When he read the words beneath the photo and calculated that the man’s son was the same age as himself, his heart began to hammer in his chest, his hopes of finding an informant raised once more.

Returning the newspaper to its shelf, he hurried back to his hotel to change.

***

An hour or so later, dressed in scruffy jeans and an old Irish rugby shirt he’d found in a charity shop, Jamie made his way to the bar Ennis had mentioned when they were discussing Malachy’s usual haunts. Two men stood outside smoking, the pavement around them littered with discarded cigarette butts, and he had to push past them to enter the dimly lit building, mumbling an apology as he went. Bracing himself, he stepped up to the narrow wooden bar.

"A pint of porter, please," he muttered, his accent somewhere between Blackrock and the Bronx.

The bartender nodded and set to work while Jamie let his eyes wander round the room, taking in the worn upholstery and splintered tables, and the yellowed walls which clearly hadn’t seen a lick of paint since long before Dublin’s smoking ban came into effect. An ancient sound system sat in one corner, its single speaker vibrating to the tinny sounds of what he assumed to be rebel songs, if the tattered posters on the walls were anything to go by. A sign above the bar gave a sinister warning to the British and he shivered slightly, desperately hoping his fake accent would hold long enough to allow him to do what he needed to and get out in one piece.

"You American?" the bartender growled, pushing his pint towards him and snatching the offered money as though it might be withdrawn any second.

He shook his head. "I’m from Dublin," he lied. "But my family moved to New York when I was five so my accent is more American than Irish now."

"Your folks from round here?"

"Yeah. My da grew up just round the corner and we lived nearby, too. Not that I really remember it," he answered with a shrug.

The bartender frowned. "Why are you here, then?"

He smiled, hoping to win the man’s trust. "I came back to Dublin for a cousin’s wedding but my da asked me to look up an old friend of his while I was in the city. My da suggested trying here." When the bartender held his silence, he carried on. "His name’s Michael Keane. Do you know him?"

"Mick Keane? Sure I know him," the bartender answered cautiously. "What did you say your name was again?"

"I didn’t." He took a breath and cast his mind back to the newspaper article he’d found while researching the names Ennis gave him, making sure he had the story straight in his head before going on. "My name is Sean Whelan. Michael and my da were best friends from an early age. My da is Sean, too...maybe you remember him?"

The bartender pondered for a moment before nodding. "I might. A short fella with dark hair and green eyes? A Celtic Cross tattooed on his left arm?"

"Yeah, that’s him, although his hair is greyer now."

"Happens to us all," the bartender replied with a gap-toothed grin. "So you’re young Sean, eh? You used to hang about at the door when you were knee high to a grasshopper, waiting while your da had a pint, always trying to sneak in."

He smiled wistfully at the memory he’d only had for a few seconds, confident he had the bartender fooled. "Well, sure, it was cold outside!"

"Ah, I would have let you in, but your da said you had to learn patience," the bartender chuckled. "He was a good customer, your da. So how the hell is he? Is New York being kind to him?"

"It is," he confirmed. "Although I think he misses the old place sometimes. That’s why he was so keen for me to look Mick up. I don’t suppose you have any idea when he might be in, do you?" he asked, trying to sound like he didn’t already know the answer. "It would be a shame if I missed him."

The bartender glanced up at the clock over the bar. "Ah well, young Sean, I don’t think you have to worry about that. Mick’s as regular as clockwork. Finishes work at four, goes for his evening paper then comes in here for a quick one on his way home for tea. He’ll be back later, too, but he won’t be on his own then."

He nodded. "He brings his wife in later, does he?"

"Oh god, no!" the bartender said with alarm. "No, he has some friends he meets here at nights, guys he does some...ah...some business with. You don’t want to be here when they’re here. He definitely won’t have time to talk to you then. No, it’s best if you speak to him when he comes...ah, sure, speak of the devil, here he is now." The bartender waved jovially at a stocky man with thinning hair who had just come through the door. "Mick Keane, get your arse over here! Fella by the name of Sean Whelan wants a word with you."

***

After the bartender performed the introductions and shared a drink with them both, Jamie led Mick across to a small table near the door, keeping his escape route clear in case the other man didn’t buy his story. Taking a breath to steady his nerves he opened his mouth to speak, but Mick beat him to it.

"You don’t look like your da."

He considered his answer carefully, bringing to mind the photograph from the newspaper article. Finally, he grinned. "No. He’s always saying it must be all that hearty American food that made me grow so tall."

Mick coughed. "Aye, he always was a short-arse. But your face is different, too. I don’t know...you looked a lot more like him when you were little."

"Guess that makes me lucky, then," he said with a wink, fighting to keep the atmosphere from turning frosty.

Mick stared at him for a long moment then gave a barking laugh. "Well, you’ve got his sense of humour, I’ll say that! So how is the ugly bastard? Sure I haven’t heard from him in almost twenty years."

For the next half hour he filled Mick in on the details of the life he’d made up for the man’s childhood best friend, hoping at least some of it rang true. But Mick’s easy acceptance of his story was better than he could have dared to hope and, by the time he finished, it was clear Mick no longer doubted he was Sean’s son. Indeed, the older man was busy inviting him back for a home cooked meal, insisting his wife would be delighted to meet Sean’s boy. He quickly declined the offer, saying he already had plans for the evening, but took Mick’s friendly attitude as a sign and pressed on.

"So, my da wanted me to check up on you, make sure you’re behaving yourself," he said, flicking his eyes to Mick’s face to gauge his reaction. His keen lawyer’s eyes caught the flinch before the other man had a chance to hide it.

"I don’t know what you mean," Mick mumbled, shaking his head.

"Well, he told me you were always getting into bother when you were younger. Running around with the wrong crowd, that sort of thing. He said he saved you going to jail for extortion or assault or something." Saved you by lying for you, something the police couldn’t prove until it was too late and Sean Whelan had skipped the country. But you know the truth, don’t you? Your best friend spared you a life behind bars. Spared you so you could terrorise innocent kids like Ennis on Malachy’s behalf. Well, now it’s payback time." He said something about a fella called Malachy. Said he hoped you weren’t still doing jobs for him, after everything."

Mick’s face went white. "M...Malachy? No, no I don’t hang around with him now. That’s all in the past. Sure, I haven’t worked for him for a long time. You can tell your da everything’s okay with me. I haven’t forgotten what he did for me. I know the risk he took and..."

"Are you sure?" he interrupted, shifting his seat closer. "Because you seem pretty nervous to me, like maybe you’re lying. I don’t want to go back to New York and tell my da a bunch of lies. He’d see right through them. You know that."

"I...I know," Mick stammered, a sheen of sweat breaking out on his forehead. "It’s just...it’s hard to get by sometimes, you know? Sometimes a fella has to do some things he doesn’t want to, just to keep his head above water."

He nodded. "I understand. But my da gave up a lot for you. He’s going to be really disappointed to hear you haven’t learned your lesson, to hear the sacrifice he made was in vain."

Mick’s eyes widened. "You...you don’t have to tell him, do you? I mean, it’s not like I do much anyway. I just collect some debts, warn people when they’ve missed payments, lean on witnesses...little things, really."

"So you don’t get involved in killing for them?"

"Wh...what?" Mick asked, swallowing hard. "No! I...I don’t...I wouldn’t...I mean, that doesn’t happen very often anyway. Only if someone doesn’t pay attention to the warnings they’ve been given. I..."

"Like that guy a few weeks ago? What was his name...Del something...Delmer?" he cut in, sensing Mick’s growing panic and quickly realising he could turn it to his advantage.

"K.E. del Mar," Mick breathed. "But I wasn’t there, I swear. It was Malachy and Brendan...maybe a couple of others...I don’t know. They said del Mar had fucked them around once too often. Apparently he had the money but he kept some of it back or something. I don’t know all the details. I just...I only saw them when they came back but they were really pleased with themselves. They said del Mar was more bother than he was worth and they were glad to be able to get rid of him. They were joking and laughing, talking about some poor bastard who was going to take the fall for their crime. Some friend of del Mar’s brother, I think. But I wasn’t there when he was killed, honest."

"I’m glad to hear it," Jamie said. "But I still think my da is going to be disappointed." He stood up, as if to leave. "Thanks for your time. I’ll be sure to tell my da all about it."

"W...wait!" Mick spluttered, his eyes growing steely with determination. "Don’t tell him. He...he was the only one who ever believed in me, and I’ve never forgotten what he gave up for me." He looked earnestly at Jamie, clearly desperate to have his former friend believe he hadn’t wasted the second chance he’d been given. "You tell him that instead. Tell him...tell him I’ve turned my life around."

"And have you?"

"I will," Mick replied vehemently. "I’ll stop doing the extra work, I swear. I know a thing or two about collecting debts and I’ll pay up on mine, as soon as I can. Please don’t tell your da I’m a failure."

Jamie sighed and looked away, allowing Mick to sweat for a moment longer, all the while grinning inwardly. Finally, he met Mick’s eyes once more and nodded. "Alright, I’ll keep it to myself. I don’t think telling him would do either of you any good, to be honest. But I hope you’ll keep your word, just in case my da ever comes back himself." He dug into his pocket and tossed a ten euro note on the table. "Buy yourself a whiskey. You look like you could do with something to calm you down."

With a spring in his step, he walked out of the bar without so much as a glance back at Malachy’s beleaguered cohort, relieved that the pieces finally seemed to be falling into place just in time for Jack’s trial.

***

Three days later, Jack made his way into the courtroom and took a seat in the dock, flanked by two Garda men. He was dressed in the same dark suit he’d worn to Jamie’s wedding, the blue of his tie shining much brighter than his eyes as he glanced around the room, desperately hoping for the comfort of Ennis’s smile. Even though Jamie had warned him Ennis wouldn’t be in court, his heart still sank when he scanned the room, his desire to see his young partner again far greater than his acceptance of the need to keep Ennis safe. He tried to calm himself by thinking about the note Jamie had passed to him the previous night, Ennis’s sloping handwriting reminding him to believe and telling him it wouldn’t be long before they were together again. And this time, Ennis had said, it’ll be forever.

Slipping his hand into his jacket pocket, he ran his fingers over the paper, drawing strength from the love it contained. Casting his eyes to the right he watched Jamie for a moment, the lawyer’s confident demeanour as he set out his papers boosting Jack’s spirits further. After a while, Jamie must have felt his gaze and looked up, smiling and nodding in reassurance then inclining his head towards the public gallery. Following the direction of Jamie’s nod, he immediately spotted Paul and Sinead entering the seated area, both of them clenching their fists in defiance as they realised he’d seen them.

Feeling sudden warmth blooming in his chest, he turned to the front of the court once more, ready to face whatever the prosecution could throw at him.

***

For the next few hours the prosecution presented their case, calling on police and forensics experts to establish how K.E. had been murdered, whose fingerprints were on the murder weapon and what other evidence pointed to Jack as the killer. In his cross examinations, Jamie kept things brief, accepting the facts but questioning whether the fingerprints on the skillet, and the blood on Jack’s shirt, could have been from an earlier altercation between Jack and K.E. Although the answers he received allowed for the possibility, he knew the jury would need a lot more, especially once the prosecution’s other witnesses took the stand. He also asked the police about the knife used to slit K.E.’s wrists, discovering that a kitchen knife, apparently from a block which sat on the counter, had been found on the floor next to K.E.’s body. On questioning the forensics expert about this knife, he felt a small rush of excitement when the man confirmed that no fingerprints other than K.E.’s own had been found on the knife; although the real sense of victory came when the man couldn’t explain why Jack would have left fingerprints on the skillet, but not on the knife.

After a short break for lunch, the prosecutor called his first real witness: K.E.’s neighbour, Mr. Davy Connolly. Once the witness had taken his oath, the prosecutor approached the stand.

"Mr. Connolly, can you confirm your address, and tell me how long you've lived there?" he said.

"18 Lansdowne Road, Ballsbridge. I’ve been there fifty-two years, since the day after my Mary and me got married."

"And how long had the deceased lived next door to you?" the prosecutor asked.

"Well, now, let’s see," the old man said with a frown. "The family only had one boy when they moved in there, and he was still just a little ‘un, maybe four or five years old. The other one came along a lot later. When their parents died in that awful crash, the two boys stayed on. I don’t know exactly how old the older one was when he died, but I’d guess he’d lived there over twenty-five years."

The prosecutor nodded. "And would you say you were close to them? Mr. del Mar and his brother, I mean."

"Not especially. They were polite enough, and the younger one sometimes helped me with some odd jobs, but I wouldn’t say we were close."

"Okay. Let’s talk about the night in question," the prosecutor said. "Can you tell the court what you were doing on the night of Sunday the eighteenth of May, please?"

"I can. I was in my house, watching the football highlights," the old man answered. "I’m a Wicklow man and we beat Kildare."

The prosecutor suppressed a smile as the jury chuckled. "Were you watching television all night?"

"No. I got up to make a cup of tea at one point, and that’s when I heard the noise from next door. Our kitchens back onto each other and the walls are very thin," the old man told the court.

"Do you know exactly what time that was?"

The old man shook his head ruefully. "No, I don’t. I know it was after nine, because that’s when the football finished, but I sometimes doze off in my chair so it could have been any time between then and midnight, I suppose."

"Okay, don’t worry," the prosecutor responded gently. "So can you tell the court what you heard?"

"Yes, of course. I heard a lot of shouting, like there was a really big argument going on. There was some slamming of doors, too, but that wasn’t too unusual. But then I heard a man shout ‘Please no!’ at the top of his voice." The old man paused for a moment, seemingly shaken by the memory. When he continued, his voice was much weaker and his hands trembled as he spoke. "Everything went quiet for a while then I heard a scream, followed a couple of minutes later by a loud thump."

The prosecutor moved closer. "Are you alright, Mr. Connolly? Do you need a break?"

"No, no. I’ll be fine, son," the old man answered, taking a sip of his water. "What else do you want to know?"

"What did you do after you heard these noises?"

"Well, I went through to my front room. I can see their path from there, and I saw a young man leaving the house in a hurry. It was dark, but there was enough light from the street lamp for me to see him," the old man recounted. "My eyesight’s pretty good, you know," he added with a smile.

"I’m sure it is. Now, Mr. Connolly, think carefully. Do you see that young man anywhere in this courtroom?" the prosecutor asked.

The old man nodded solemnly. "Yes. That’s him there," he replied, pointing at Jack in the dock.

The prosecutor turned to look at Jack then glanced at the jury to ensure they were also looking. Nodding, he turned back to the old man. "Now, you said it was dark when you looked out your window. How can you be so sure the man you saw was the defendant, Mr. Twist?"

"Because I’d seen him earlier in the day," the old man answered. "He and Mr. del Mar’s younger brother were at the house in the afternoon and I was out in my garden when they left. They loaded a lot of bags and boxes into a car then Mr. Twist came back to the gate and spoke to Mr. del Mar. He was really angry and I noticed he had blood on his t-shirt. Mr. del Mar also had a bad wound on his face so maybe that’s where the blood came from."

Jamie jumped to his feet. "Objection, Your Honour. The witness is speculating."

"Sustained," the judge said with a nod. "Please stick to the facts, Mr. Connolly."

The old man looked abashed. "Sorry."

"It’s okay," the prosecutor told him. "You said Mr. Twist spoke to Mr. del Mar?"

"Yes, that’s right. The defendant was really close to Mr. del Mar, but he spoke clearly so I heard what he said."

"And what was that?" the prosecutor asked.

"He told Mr. del Mar he would kill him," the old man replied confidently, looking up at the jury.

The prosecutor nodded sagely. "No further questions, Your Honour."

No Matter What - Update

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 11:25:33 GMT

Hey friends

A few of you have asked about the status of No Matter What, and specifically about when the next chapter will be posted, so I thought I should give you a quick update.

As you may recall, I planned to get the rest of the story written over the Christmas holidays, with the aim of posting one chapter a week from the middle of January until the end. But you know what they say about the best laid plans...and I ended up having no free time whatsoever over the holidays so got no writing done. The good news is that, now that I'm back at work, I've had lots of time to write and I've made some excellent progress in the last week. Mind you, the section I'm writing has grown arms and legs so what I thought would take two chapters to cover is currently looking like running to five!

Aaaanyway...all being well, I aim to get these five chapters to my beta by the end of this week at the latest, with the aim being to start posting again on Tuesday the 27th of January. After that, I'll be posting to my normal schedule until the story is finished. In total, I think there will be six or seven more chapters, plus an epilogue.

I can only apologise for the delay, but sometimes real life just gets in the way and there's nothing you can do. I promise I'll keep writing as fast as I can, and I hope you'll feel it's been worth the wait once we get going again.

As a small peace offering, here are No Matter What's Ennis and Jack, each thinking of the other during their enforced separation.

See you soon!

Mo Eilean - Epilogue Part 2

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 09:50:41 GMT

Title: Mo Eilean Epilogue: A Guid New Year, Part 2
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always
Feedback: Yes, please
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Thanks To: smiles_a_lot for finding the time to beta this during the holidays.

Jack felt his jaw drop open at Ennis’s words, his heart hammering against his ribcage and his hands shaking as he reached for the box. Flipping open the lid, he glanced down to see two gold bands sitting side by side on a velvet cushion. He let out a loud gasp then raised his head and met Ennis’s eyes, his own filling with wonder.

"Ennis, I...I don’t know what to say," he whispered.

Ennis closed the gap between them and took Jack’s hand, steadying it and helping him hold the box. "Say yes," he answered.

Jack looked at the rings again, running his index finger over the intricate Celtic knot design then nodding. "Yes," he breathed. "Yes, I’ll marry you. I can’t think of anything I want to do more." He leaned in and kissed Ennis tenderly, the candle he still held stopping him from grabbing the man. When their lips parted, he pressed his forehead against Ennis’s, breathing heavily as he tried to force his heart rate to return to normal. Finally, he pulled back and gazed into Ennis’s eyes. "So what are we going to do now?" he asked in a whisper.

"Well, we should probably go and find somewhere to sit and watch the fireworks," Ennis murmured, kissing Jack’s nose.

"Aye, I suppose we should," Jack replied softly, touching his lips to Ennis’s forehead, one hand caressing Ennis’s cheek. "Or we could...you know...just go home and..."

Ennis leaned into the touch for a moment, a faraway look in his eyes, but suddenly seemed to be jolted back to the present. "No," he said firmly, blowing Jack’s candle out and slipping his arm round Jack’s waist. "No, we’ve come this far, we might as well stay for the show. We’ve got the rest of our lives to...you know..."

Jack laughed and slung his arm round Ennis, his left hand resting on Ennis’s hip, his right still clutching the ring box firmly. "Okay," he agreed. "Let’s go."

A minute or so later they crested the top of the hill and Jack stopped dead in his tracks, struck dumb by what he saw. In front of him stood a large group of their families and friends, each of them holding a lit candle. He quickly picked out the faces of his parents, both of them smiling broadly, his friend Kerry and her partner, several other friends from their days at university and colleagues from both of their workplaces and, as the group parted slightly, Ennis’s mum and Ennis’s brother Kyle, all the way from the Isle of Lewis. Stunned and confused, he felt his legs wobble at the same moment that Ennis came up from behind, wrapping two strong arms around him and keeping him steady, Ennis’s chin settling on Jack’s shoulder.

He leaned back. "Ennis, what...what’s all this?" he asked shakily.

"Well, you said you’d marry me," Ennis rumbled low in his ear. "So I thought there’s no better time than the present."

"What? But you didn’t...I mean, I...you only just asked me. What if I’d said no?" he asked, turning in Ennis’s embrace, his eyes wide.

Ennis smiled. "I knew you wouldn’t. Well, not once you stopped shouting at me and accusing me of cheating on you, anyway," he added with a chuckle.

"Shit," Jack muttered, blushing. "So this is what all the phone calls were about?"

"Aye. There was a lot to organise: making sure folks could make it, sorting out travel for my mum and Kyle, getting the paperwork sorted out, finding a Registrar who was willing to work on Hogmanay. But it was worth all the hard work, to see the look on your face just now," Ennis told him. "So, are we going to do this?"

Jack nodded. "Aye, why not?" he beamed.

"Well, let’s get a move on," Ennis said. "The fireworks are going to start going off in about twenty five minutes so if we want folks to hear our vows, we better get on with it!"

***

They made their way over to the assembled group, stopping briefly to accept words and hugs of congratulations before Ennis led Jack to the Registrar and introduced him. The Registrar shook hands with them both then quickly explained how the ceremony would work. Once he had finished everything he had to say, he ushered Jack and Ennis to their places and turned to the group.

"Well, good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Arthur’s Seat. Now there’s something I never thought I’d be saying in a partnership ceremony!" He waited until the chuckles died down then went on. "As you all know, we’re here tonight to witness Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist complete the process which will officially register their civil partnership. Through their words during this ceremony they will be entering into a commitment with one another and the signing of the Civil Partnership Schedule will form the legal part of tonight’s proceedings." He paused for a moment and cleared his throat. "This legal partnership will enable the love and respect they have for each other to develop into a deep and lasting relationship, recognised by law and acknowledged by society. We, who are witnessing their civil partnership, hope that despite the stresses inevitable in any life, their love, trust and understanding of each other will increase their contentment and heighten their joy in living."

The Registrar looked at Ennis. "Ennis, I believe you have your own words you’d like to use?"

"Aye, that’s right," Ennis said, turning to Jack. He reached down and took Jack’s hand then spoke softly, his eyes fixed on Jack.

"Jack, I swear to give you the best of myself
And to ask of you no more than you can give.

I swear to respect you as your own person
And to realise that your interests, desires and needs are just as important as my own.

I swear to share with you my time and my attention
And to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.

I swear to keep myself open to you
And never hide my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I swear to love you in good times and bad
With all I have to give and all I feel inside
In the only way I know how
Completely and forever."

When he finished speaking, Ennis squeezed Jack’s hand gently and the Registrar smiled. "Thank you, Ennis. That was beautiful." He turned to Jack and waited patiently while Jack wiped a tear from his cheek. "Jack, do you have your own vows, or would you like you use the standard ones?"

Jack sighed, his face still rapt from Ennis’s words. "Well, I don’t have anything prepared because I didn’t know anything about this until half an hour ago. But if you don’t mind me making it up as I go along, I think I’d like to do this in my own words."

"Go ahead," the Registrar said with an encouraging nod.

Jack met Ennis’s eyes and smiled. "Ennis, I’ve loved you since the day we first met and I promise you now that my love for you will last forever. From today we will be partners for the rest of our lives, and I promise to work with you to build the best life possible. I promise I will support you through all of life’s ups and downs, I will be loyal to you always and, above all, I will care for you and respect you as my partner and my friend."

As Ennis and Jack gazed at each other, their eyes filled with hope and love, the Registrar spoke again. "Thank you, Jack. Ladies and gentlemen, now that they’ve made their commitment to one another, Ennis and Jack are going to exchange rings as a symbol of the promises they have made. Ennis, please place the ring on Jack’s finger and repeat after me: This ring is a token of my abiding love and a sign of the promise I have made to you today."

Ennis did as he was told, holding on to Jack’s hand once the ring was in place and repeating the words quietly but firmly.

"Now Jack, please place the ring on Ennis’s finger and repeat after me: This ring is a token of my abiding love and a sign of the promise I have made to you today," the Registrar said, smiling as Jack let go of Ennis’s hand just long enough to take the ring out of its box before grabbing it again, repeating the words as he slid the golden band down Ennis’s finger.

The Registrar cast his eyes over to the assembled guests. "By entering into a Registered Civil Partnership, Ennis and Jack acquire rights and responsibilities that reflect the commitment they have made to each other and which will form the basis of their life together. They have both already confirmed there is no legal impediment preventing them from making this commitment. I will now ask Ennis and Jack to sign the schedule which confirms that they both consent to the formation of this civil partnership." He handed the papers and a pen to Ennis, who signed them with a flourish before passing them over to Jack. As Jack added his signature, the Registrar continued. "I will now also ask their witnesses to sign the schedule."

Jack glanced up from signing the papers to see his father and Ennis’s brother step forward. He nudged Ennis’s arm and inclined his head towards the other two men with a quizzical look on his face.

Ennis grinned. "That’s what I was asking your dad earlier," he murmured under his breath. "I thought it would be fitting to have two guys who were against our relationship at the start be the ones who bore witness to it becoming legal. And, although you may not believe me, they were both over the moon to be asked. They know this is the real thing and they knew it long before we had these gold bands on our fingers."

While he listened to Ennis, Jack felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder and he looked round to see his father standing beside him. He handed the papers over silently and watched as first his father, and then Kyle, signed their names as witnesses.

After handing the papers back to the Registrar, Jack’s father spoke. "I heard what Ennis said, son, and he’s right. I was upset when you first told us you were gay, but I know love when I see it, and I know you and Ennis are happy together. That’s all I ever wanted for you."

Jack closed his eyes. "Thanks, dad," he murmured, giving his father an awkward hug. "I really appreciate that."

In the background, the Registrar coughed to get everyone’s attention. "Right, that’s all the formalities completed," he said. "All that remains is for me to offer my sincere congratulations to Ennis and Jack, who have now attained the status of Registered Civil Partners. May your life together be long and happy." He smiled broadly as the guests began to cheer, their shouts almost immediately drowned out by the sound of fireworks going off all around the city to signal the start of the New Year.

As their families and friends celebrated around them, Jack tugged Ennis’s hand gently and moved off to the edge of the proceedings. Pulling Ennis close, he sought Ennis’s lips with his own, the kiss chaste and tender but filled with promise of the night ahead and the years to come. As they kissed, he threaded his fingers through Ennis’s curls, holding on tightly to the man who was now his husband, the thought making his heart swell with pride and happiness. When they finally parted, he stroked Ennis’s cheek with his finger, marvelling as his wedding band sparkled with the reflection of the fireworks. "Happy New Year, baby," he murmured.

Ennis nuzzled his face. "Bliadhna mhath ur, darlin’," he whispered back.

***

As soon as the fireworks finished, Jack’s parents popped the corks on the bottles of champagne Ennis had organised, handing plastic cups to each of the guests and proposing a toast to the happy couple. Wrapped up in each other’s arms, Ennis and Jack sipped bubbly from each other’s glasses and thanked their friends and families for coming. When the champagne was gone, Jack looked up at Ennis.

"So what now?" he asked. "Is there somewhere we can all go, or..."

Kerry jumped in. "Don’t worry, Jack. It’s all taken care of. Ennis was struggling to find somewhere to hold a party but I pulled a few strings at the university and we’ve got the main hall at the Halls of Residence for the rest of the night. It’s perfect since it’s just at the foot of the hill. I know you two will need to leave early but..."

"That’s great, Kerry," Ennis interrupted, shooting her a look that told her in no uncertain terms to stop talking. He turned back to Jack. "Come on, you. Let’s go and give our folks a hand getting down this slope."

"Okay," Jack replied, starting to follow Ennis before stopping again. "Wait a minute...what did Kerry mean when she said we’d have to leave early?" he asked.

Ennis shrugged innocently. "Ach, I don’t know. Maybe she thought we’d be desperate to get home and be alone or something. You know all that girl thinks about is our sex life."

"That’s true," Jack laughed. "I’ve lost count of the number of times she’s offered me tips on lube flavours. But it didn’t sound like that’s what she meant."

"Well, then I have no idea," Ennis said. "I’m sure it’s nothing, though. Now come on, we’ve got a wedding reception to go to."

***

At the reception the champagne, beer and whiskey flowed freely and by the time a small ceilidh band set up in one corner, everyone was ready to dance. As the first notes sounded, Jack turned to Ennis and held out his hand. "Dance with me?"

Ennis’s face went pale. "Jack, I...I can’t. Folks might think it’s inappropriate," he mumbled.

"Aye, you can," Jack answered, reaching out and intertwining their fingers. Behind them the room fell silent and Ennis sensed their guests watching them as Jack spoke again. "I’m not going to fuck you out there, Ennis. This is our wedding reception, and it’s traditional for the happy couple to have the first dance. No-one is going to care...in fact, they’ll probably be upset if we don’t." He tugged Ennis’s hand gently and winked at his man. "Come on, what could be more appropriate than two guys dancing the Gay Gordons together at their wedding reception?"

Ennis stared at him for a second then burst out laughing. "Well, when you put it like that...why the hell not?"

Smiling proudly, he put an arm round Jack’s waist and led him to the dance floor. He nodded to the band, who took their cue and struck up the first notes as the guests gathered round the edges of the dance floor. When they started dancing, their friends and families began to applaud, their clapping turning to cheers as Ennis twirled Jack round like he’d been doing it all his life. Gradually other couples joined them on the floor, Ennis’s mum dancing with Jack’s dad and Kyle offering his arm to Jack’s mum; soon all of their friends were dancing, too, filling the small floor and celebrating both the New Year and Jack and Ennis’s new bond in style.

***

Much later, his feet and limbs aching, Ennis caught Jack’s eye and inclined his head towards the corridor, already on his way before Jack had finished nodding.

"What’s up?" Jack asked as he walked through the door.

"Nothing," Ennis replied. "Just...I’ve got one more surprise for you, and I have to tell you now, because we need to leave in about half an hour."

Jack frowned. "Leave? But...oh hang on...this has something to do with what Kerry said earlier, doesn’t it?"

"Aye," Ennis said with a nod. "She nearly let the cat out the bag, but I wanted to wait until we’d had a chance to enjoy the party." He opened his sporran and took out an envelope, grinning as he handed it to Jack. "This is our wedding present from my mum and Kyle."

He watched as Jack opened the envelope, Jack’s brow creasing further when he pulled out two plane tickets. "Flight tickets? For...oh my god...these are for the first of January! But that...that’s today!" Jack looked up at Ennis incredulously. "They bought us flights for today?"

"Aye," Ennis confirmed. "For Paris, since it seems you haven’t noticed that part. The flight is at seven o’clock, and your dad has our bags in his car. If you want to get changed, he said he’d take the kilts back to the flat...or we could take them with us if you prefer." He fumbled around in his sporran again, pulling out a sheet of paper. "And this is your folks’ present to us: three nights’ accommodation in a superior room at the luxury...and gay-friendly...Elysees Regencia Hotel."

Jack blinked. "You...you’re kidding?" he stammered.

"Nope," Ennis said, holding out the booking confirmation for Jack to inspect.

Jack shook his head, suddenly at a loss for words. "I can’t believe this...what an incredible thing for them to do."

"Aye, it is," Ennis agreed. "I told you they’re all happy about us getting married." He reached over and brushed a tear from Jack’s eye. "Now, come on, don’t get all emotional. We have to go and say thank you then get going. We don’t want to miss our flights!"

***

Late on New Year’s Night, after a day of strolling along the Seine, taking in the sights from the top of the Eiffel Tower and stuffing themselves full of rich French food in one of Paris’s finest restaurants, the happy couple finally returned to their hotel room. They were exhausted but deliriously happy, drunk not just on the wine they’d had with dinner but also on the events of the past twenty-four hours and the sight of the gold bands neither of them could stop looking at.

Jack went into the room first, turning to watch as Ennis closed and locked the door then met his gaze. He held his hand out. "Come here, you," he murmured.

Ennis crossed the room in three strides and walked straight into Jack’s embrace, burying his nose in the soft hair above Jack’s ear and gently nibbling Jack’s earlobe. As they hugged, he helped Jack out of his jacket then wriggled out of his own and kicked off his shoes. "Alone at last," he breathed, running his foot lightly down Jack’s calf.

Still holding on, Jack slipped off his own shoes and socks. "Aye, alone at last," he replied in a whisper, reaching between them to push both their sporrans out of the way then rotating his hips slowly, his plaid covered erection finding its mate. With a shiver of anticipation he slid gradually down Ennis’s body, his fingers brushing over hard nipples and a taut abdomen on their way to lifting Ennis’s kilt. Without waiting for an invitation he took Ennis in his mouth, savouring the saltiness of Ennis’s sweat and pre-come. He sucked hard, taking Ennis in as far as he could, knowing how much Ennis liked to be deep throated and wanting nothing more than to give pleasure to his man. My husband, he thought with a happy sigh.

Above him, Ennis moaned. "Oh god, Jack, so good."

Jack continued his ministrations, one hand wandering up the back of Ennis’s thigh to cup a rounded cheek, fingers pushing lightly into the crack and finding their target.

"Oh...oh, god," Ennis repeated, his hands dropping down to Jack’s head. "So fucking good...but...wait, Jack...want...want..."

"What do you want, darlin’?" Jack asked, letting Ennis’s cock pop out of his mouth, but continuing to fuck his man with his fingers.

Ennis squirmed, drawing Jack’s fingers deeper. "Want to do this together," he mumbled. "We...we promised to do things together."

"Aye, we did," Jack nodded, pulling his fingers out slowly and getting to his feet. He quickly unfastened Ennis’s shirt and tore it off, then tugged his own over his head, leaving them both clad only in their kilts. After a brief kiss, he took Ennis’s hand and led him to the queen sized bed, pulling the covers back and lying down on his side, his feet at the head of the bed. Pulling his kilt round his waist to reveal his erection, he spoke softly. "So let’s do it together."

Ennis crawled onto the bed and mirrored Jack’s position, his kilt pushed up at the front, his bobbing cock at Jack’s mouth and his own mouth level with Jack’s hardness. He reached a hand out and palmed Jack’s balls, rubbing them lightly as he closed his lips round the tip of Jack’s cock, gasping when Jack’s mouth enveloped his own aching need. He started to suckle, his tongue pressing into the slit then swirling round the swollen head a couple of times before he took Jack in fully. When Jack’s hips jerked, he removed his hand from Jack’s balls and slipped a finger into his mouth alongside Jack’s cock, getting it wet before following the curve of Jack’s hip and pushing his finger firmly inside his man, stroking over the sensitive nub in time with his sucking.

Jack immediately returned the favour, sliding two fingers, wet with spit and Ennis’s slick, inside Ennis and pulsing them rhythmically as he took Ennis in deep, the head of Ennis’s cock bumping the back of his throat, the musky smell from Ennis’s groin tantalising his senses.

All too soon, he felt Ennis’s body tense, Ennis’s strokes and sucks becoming erratic as orgasm approached, and his own body reacted to Ennis’s arousal, rushing headlong towards climax. When it arrived, he froze for a second then convulsed wildly, pouring the product of his love into Ennis’s mouth as he swallowed fast round Ennis’s jerking cock, a steadying hand drawing circles on Ennis’s hip as the spasms eased. Finally, he removed his fingers gently from Ennis’s passage and wiped them on the sheet, feeling the loss as Ennis did the same. His body sated, he unfastened his kilt and slipped it off, then twisted round slowly until his head was on the pillow alongside Ennis’s. Opening his arms, he waited until Ennis removed his own kilt before pulling his man close, pressing a tender kiss into damp curls then tugging the blankets up over them both, his energy finally fully depleted.

Just before sleep claimed him, Jack felt Ennis shift in his arms.

"Thank you for saying yes," Ennis said sleepily. "This has been the best day of my life."

Jack nodded. "This is only the start," he told Ennis. "I love you so much and I plan to spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

Ennis smiled against his chest. "S’good, ’cos I love you too and I’d hate to be the only one with something to prove," he murmured. "G’night, baby."

Jack didn’t even have time to answer before Ennis’s soft snores echoed round the room. Looking down, he caught a glimpse of Ennis’s wedding band and brought his own left hand across to rest beside Ennis’s, the two rings side by side as they would be for the rest of their lives.

~~~ THE END ~~~

Author's Note: Ennis adapted his vows from a poem by Dorothy R Colgan which he found during endless hours of surfing the internet when he was supposed to be working. Well, it was the run up to Christmas and it was quiet...

Jack's vows, and the rest of the words from the ceremony, were taken from various internet sites about civil partnership ceremonies in the UK.

The Elysees Regencia Hotel in Paris really does claim to be gay-friendly - it's right there in their list of services! I think the room the boys shared was the one in the bottom row, second from the left of the photos on this page: http://www.epoquehotels.com/h-gallery.php/paris-hotels/boutique-hotel/h/elyseesregenciahotel/l/en

Finally, this is the view the wedding guests saw from the top of Arthur's Seat as the old year gave way to the new. Not bad, eh?

Mo Eilean - Epilogue Part 1

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 09:48:27 GMT

Title: Mo Eilean Epilogue: A Guid New Year, Part 1
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always
Feedback: Yes, please
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Thanks To: smiles_a_lot for finding the time to beta this during the holidays.

Definition: Hogmanay [ˌhɔgməˈneː]: Scots word for New Year's Eve, possibly derived from the Gaelic og-mhadainn, meaning new morning.

Author's Note: I know it's been a long time since I last posted anything from the Mo Eilean boys but this is their epilogue. It takes place around four years after the original story, with Ennis now a fully qualified vet, working in a practice on the outskirts of Edinburgh, and Jack doing research in the University's Biology department.

The epilogue is in two parts - the link to part 2 is at the end of this one. I hope you enjoy...and I wish you all the very best for 2009!

"So when are you going to tell me what we’re doing tonight?" Jack asked breathlessly as he eased himself off Ennis’s semi hard cock and rolled onto his back beside his man.

Ennis’s head lolled on the pillow and one eye opened, fixing Jack with a hot chocolate stare. "I told you earlier," Ennis murmured. "We’re going to that new seafood place for dinner."

"Just the two of us?"

Ennis sighed, shifting onto his side. "No, Jack. Not just the two of us. I told you we’re going with your parents. They wanted to take us out tonight since we can’t spend tomorrow with them, remember? Weren’t you listening?"

Jack shrugged and reached out to tweak a nipple. "I guess not. It’s hard to listen to you when you’re fucking me to within an inch of my life."

"You complaining?" Ennis asked mischievously.

"Hell no. I’ve got no complaints there," Jack replied, letting his hand trail lower to nestle in Ennis’s golden curls, his fingers brushing the base of Ennis’s shaft. His breath quickened when he felt Ennis’s cock twitch. "So...uh...why can’t we spend the day with my folks tomorrow?" he frowned. "We always spend New Year’s Day with them. It’s tradition."

Ennis pushed into Jack’s hand, his cock stiffening further. "Not this year it isn’t. This year we’ve got something else to...oh, god, Jack...somewhere else to go. Trust me."

Jack twisted his hand as Ennis opened his legs to allow better access, Ennis’s low moan igniting a fire in his own groin. "Aye, okay," he breathed, deciding to let Ennis keep his secret, at least for now. "But what about tonight? I mean, it’s Hogmanay. We can’t just go out for dinner then come home like two old fogies. What about all the parties we’ve been invited to? Can we go to one of them after the meal? We had fun at Kerry’s last year, didn’t we?" As he spoke he pushed Ennis onto his back and loomed over him, his hands tending to Ennis’s growing need, his lips flitting over Ennis’s nipples.

"Yeah, we did," Ennis agreed, tugging Jack’s arm to pull him on top. He reached up and stroked the side of Jack’s face. "But we don’t need to go there this year. Don’t worry, Mr. Party Animal, we’re not coming home after the meal. I’ve got plans. I just...oh yeah...just can’t tell you what they are right now."

Jack pushed his nearly erect cock into Ennis’s, grinding against his man’s hardness and grinning as Ennis’s eyes rolled back in his head. "When, then?" he asked. "Come on, Ennis. I want to know what we’re doing. I mean, if you don’t tell me, how am I supposed to know what to wear? Or whether I need to go shopping for a bottle?"

"I’ll tell you later," Ennis growled, spreading his legs to enable Jack to settle between them. "I can tell you that I’ve hired a kilt since it’s Hogmanay so you can wear yours, too. Oh, and drinks will be taken care of." He tilted his hips upwards until the head of Jack’s cock slipped back behind his balls. He then stretched his neck up for a kiss. "Now are you going to keep asking questions, or are you going to fuck me?" he whispered into Jack’s ear.

Jack looked into Ennis’s eyes, watching them darken with desire, and chuckled. "Well, I suppose the questions will keep." He reached under the pillow for the lube. "How do you want it?"

"Just like this," Ennis answered softly, pulling his knees up until they rested on either side of Jack’s chest.

"Jesus, Ennis. What you do to me," Jack whispered, his arousal heightened by the sight below him. Ennis wanting to bottom was still a novelty, even after more than four years of living together, and it never failed to make his heart beat double time and his cock stand proudly to attention when Ennis offered himself in that way. He slicked himself quickly then prepared Ennis, hearing the catch in Ennis’s breathing as he stroked his fingers over his man’s prostate. Lowering his head, he licked a slow line up Ennis’s cock, pausing to nuzzle at the tip before withdrawing his fingers and positioning himself. With one hand holding his cock steady and the other caressing Ennis’s thigh, he rocked his hips forward and entered Ennis in one smooth thrust, a throaty moan escaping as he revelled in the tight heat of Ennis’s passage. He stilled his hips for a moment, watching as Ennis closed his eyes and panted through the sensation of being filled. In the past he would have asked Ennis if he was okay, anxious not to hurt the man he loved, but now he simply waited for a signal, knowing Ennis would show him when he was ready.

At last, he felt Ennis’s hips roll upwards and he began to move, their bodies instantly finding the perfect rhythm, honed over the many hours they’d spent in bed together. As he rocked in and out, Ennis’s fingers fluttered down his spine, finally coming to rest on his bottom and immediately digging into the soft flesh, guiding and encouraging his efforts, no words required.

A few minutes later he felt his balls tighten and he pushed Ennis’s legs higher, driving deeper inside as Ennis began to fist his own cock rapidly, their bodies so well tuned to each other’s needs that he knew for certain they would achieve orgasm together. As the first stream of come exploded from his cock, Ennis’s muscles clamped tightly around him, milking him dry while Ennis came all over his own stomach and chest. Letting out a deep, satisfied groan, he collapsed on top of Ennis, sweat and semen binding them together as they rode out the aftershocks.

After he softened and slipped out of Ennis, he stayed where he was, content to remain wrapped up in Ennis’s arms for as long he could. But Ennis wriggled beneath him.

"You need to move, Jack."

He sighed. "Why? Am I too heavy for you?"

Ennis shook his head. "No, it’s not that. But I can’t stay in bed all day. I’ve got things I have to do."

"What things?" Jack asked, shifting his weight so Ennis could slide out from under him. "Can I help?" He propped himself up on his elbows and looked hopefully up at Ennis.

Ennis rolled his eyes as he got out of bed. "More questions," he said with a chuckle. "No, you can’t help. I just...I need to pop into the practice for a wee while. I should have gone straight after lunch but I got distracted." He padded to the bathroom and Jack heard the shower start up. Over the splashing of the water, Ennis continued the conversation. "I’ll only be an hour or two, so you can go back to sleep if you want. You don’t want to be tired tonight."

"Aye, alright," Jack muttered, flopping back down onto the mattress and turning onto his side as Ennis came back into the room, hiding the disappointment and concern on his face from the other man. He heard Ennis getting dressed then felt a kiss being pressed to his forehead, but he didn’t bother to acknowledge it, burrowing his head deep into the pillow as Ennis promised to be back in plenty of time for the meal with his parents and left the room.

***

Several hours later, while they waited for their coffees to arrive at the restaurant, Jack’s father excused himself from the table to step outside for a cigarette. As he pushed his chair back, Ennis immediately jumped to his feet as well, telling Jack quietly that he wanted to speak to Mr. Twist about a plan to include a vet’s practice in the new housing complex Jack’s father’s company was building. Jack frowned, knowing his father wasn’t exactly Ennis’s favourite person and wondering why Ennis felt he had to discuss the practice at this particular moment. But, despite his misgivings, he let Ennis go, deciding not to make a fuss in public and resolving instead to confront Ennis as soon as they were alone and make the man tell him what the hell was going on. As he watched his father and Ennis weave their way past the other diners, he heard his mum clear her throat.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" she asked, placing her hand on top of his on the table.

He shrugged. "Aye. Why wouldn’t I be?"

"It’s just...well, you look a wee bit unhappy and you and Ennis don’t seem as relaxed as normal. You’ve not had a fight, have you?"

"No," he replied with a sigh. "No, we’re fine. It’s just..."

"What?"

He turned to face his mum. "Ach, I don’t know. He...he’s been acting really strangely for the last couple of weeks. He keeps sneaking off, saying he’s got things to check on at work, even though I know he’s on holiday and they’ve got plenty of cover. And a couple of times I’ve walked in on him making phone calls and as soon as he sees me he hangs up." He rubbed his eyes with his fists. "If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was cheating on me, mum."

"Oh, sweetheart, I’m sure that’s not it," his mum said gently, reaching out to stroke his hair like she did when he was a child. "Ennis loves you, you know that."

"Ach, I know. But he’s keeping something from me, I can feel it. He won’t tell me what we’re doing tonight, and he won’t say why we can’t come to your house for New Year’s Day like we normally do. And now he’s out there talking to dad, despite the fact the two of them have never got on. It’s just...weird," he murmured, craning his neck to watch his father and Ennis, puzzled when he saw his father clap Ennis on the back just before the two shook hands. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a wistful smile on his mum’s face. He looked quizzically at her, one eyebrow raised. "What’s going on, mum? Do you know something?"

His mum looked away, shaking her head a little too vehemently. "I don’t know anything, Jack. But I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. Look, here come Ennis and your father now. Let’s just enjoy our coffees, okay? I’m sure everything will be fine."

He gave her a sceptical look but eventually nodded, his confusion and concern easing marginally when he felt Ennis’s hand press lightly against the back of his neck, and his man’s fingers pause briefly to fondle the soft hair there. By the time Ennis’s hand found its way onto his knee, squeezing gently as they sipped their coffees, he was almost willing to believe Ennis’s strange behaviour was a figment of his imagination. But when he spotted Ennis winking at his mum as they hugged goodbye outside the restaurant, his doubts rocketed to the surface once more and he grabbed Ennis’s arm firmly, dragging him towards a waiting taxi, determined to get home as quickly as possible and force the truth out of Ennis.

***

Back at the flat, Jack slammed the door behind him and turned on Ennis, pinning the other man up against the wall. "Right. I’ve had enough. Tell me what the fuck you’re up to," he demanded.

Ennis wriggled out from under his arms. "I’m not up to anything," he replied calmly, pushing past Jack and going into the living room.

"Bullshit!" Jack said indignantly, following close behind Ennis. "I’m not stupid, Ennis. Hushed phone calls ending suddenly when I walk into the room? Mysterious trips to the practice to do god knows what, even though I know you’re on holiday? Following my dad...a man you’ve never had a friendly conversation with...outside tonight to talk to him about something, a talk that ended with him shaking your hand and patting you on the back?" He moved into Ennis’s personal space as Ennis turned to face him. "That doesn’t seem like nothing to me. Now tell me. What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On?"

Ennis glared at him, his eyes showing fire. "Why don’t you trust me, eh? What do you think I’m doing that’s got you so wound up?"

He looked away, suddenly embarrassed to admit the truth. "I...I don’t know," he muttered.

Ennis laid a hand on Jack’s face and raised Jack’s quivering chin. "Jesus...you think I’m cheating on you, don’t you?"

"I...no...maybe..."

"Oh, Jack," Ennis whispered, pulling him into a crushing embrace. "I would never cheat on you. Surely you know that? I love you, you daftie."

"But all those calls and..."

Ennis turned his head and kissed his cheek. "Those calls have to do with why we can’t spend New Year’s Day with your parents, as does my conversation with your dad earlier. It’s nothing for you to worry about, I swear. I just want to surprise you. Will you let me do that? Please?"

He fell silent, his head buried in Ennis’s chest, sniffing softly. After several minutes had passed, he finally trusted himself to look up into Ennis’s eyes without betraying his fears and he managed a weak smile. "Okay," he whispered, nodding slightly.

Ennis breathed a deep sigh of relief and smiled back. "Okay. Well, I laid your kilt out in the bedroom. Go and put it on but look out your warm jacket and a hat, too, ‘cos it’s freezing out there. I’ll be there in a minute to get changed."

***

As soon as Jack left the room, Ennis took out his mobile phone and dialled the number of a local taxi firm. As he waited for his call to be answered, he moved into the computer room. Checking over his shoulder to ensure Jack wasn’t going to appear suddenly, he moved a couple of his heavy veterinary studies textbooks and reached behind them, pulling out a small box and stuffing it deep inside his coat pocket. Grabbing his hat from the computer desk, he hurried into the bedroom, speaking rapidly to the operator who had just answered his call. Seconds after he hung up, Jack came into the room, already dressed in his kilt and dress shirt, his jacket on but unfastened. Under Jack’s watchful gaze, Ennis quickly shed his trousers and boxers and put his kilt and sporran on, finishing the outfit off with thick socks and brogues. Pulling his coat back on, he walked over to the doorway.

"Okay?" he asked Jack, moving close and tucking a stray lock of hair under Jack’s black woollen hat.

"Aye. You still won’t tell me where we’re going?"

He grinned and shook his head. "Nope. You’ll find out soon enough. Now come on, our taxi will be here any minute."

***

Ten minutes later, the taxi pulled to a stop at the foot of Arthur’s Seat and Ennis handed the driver a ten-pound note, trying to hide his amusement at the confusion in Jack’s eyes. He opened the door and clambered out then turned and held out his hand. "You coming?" he asked Jack.

Jack shrugged, taking Ennis’s hand and stepping out of the taxi. "I guess so. So this is your big surprise, eh? Climbing Arthur’s Seat on Hogmanay? Are we not a bit overdressed for hill walking?"

Ennis sighed. "Well, I thought it would be nice. You know, watching the fireworks from up here where we can see the whole city. And as for the Highland dress...well, we might still find a party to go to later, you never know." He took a few steps up the hill then stopped and looked back at Jack. "We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to."

Jack shook his head and smiled. "No, it’s fine. Just don’t go too fast...these shoes don’t have the best soles for climbing!" He stretched his hand out and grasped Ennis’s hand, holding it tightly as they made their way slowly up the slope, occasionally pausing to admire the view out over Edinburgh, the stars above and the lights of the Old Town below twinkling against the black of the sky.

As they neared the top of the hill, Ennis stopped suddenly, tugging Jack’s hand to bring him to a halt. "Wait a minute," he murmured.

"What’s wrong?" Jack asked with a frown. "It’s not much further to the top...you can make it."

Ennis laughed. "I know I can. It’s just...well...there’s something I want to ask you and I want to do it before we get to the top." He turned away from Jack and reached into his pocket, pulling out a candle and a book of matches and quickly lighting the wick. "Here, hold this," he said as he turned back. "I want to be able to see your face."

Jack took the candle but shook his head, clearly puzzled. "Ennis, what are you doing? What’s so important that it can’t wait till we reach the top and find somewhere to sit? And what’s with the candle?"

"Well...I..." Ennis started, his voice trembling. He took a breath and tried again. "Look, Jack, you do know I love you, right?"

Jack nodded. "Of course I do. And I love you, too. What..."

Ennis held up a hand to cut Jack off. "Jack, these last four and a half years have been the best years of my life. I never thought I’d find someone I could love as much as I love you. And I want it to be like this, always. You and me...we’re meant to be." He reached into his pocket once more and closed his hand round the little box. Taking a step closer to Jack he pulled his hand free and held the box out. "Will you marry me, Jack?" he asked softly.

To continue reading, click here http://noreins.livejournal.com/11503.html

No Matter What - Chapter 18

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:12:07 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 18
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. Thanks a million for all your help and support this year.

Author's Note: Well folks, I've decided that this will be the last chapter of No Matter What until the New Year. It wouldn't be fair of me to say I'm going to post then run out of time to do so, so it's better this way. The good news is that I have a few days off over the festive period, so I'm hopefully I'll be able to get the rest of the story written during that time and once I start posting again, it'll be back to a regular schedule.

In the meantime, thank you all for being along for the ride and I hope you have a fabulous Christmas (or whatever else you celebrate!) Oh, and look out for a one-shot from the Mo Eilean boys which I hope to post on Hogmanay (New Year's Eve)

"Right, ladies and gentlemen, time’s up. Stop writing now and leave your papers on the desks," the examiner said as the clock ticked round to twelve noon.

At the back of the room, Ennis closed his paper and replaced the lid on his pen. With a heavy sigh he stood slowly, neither knowing nor particularly caring how well he’d done. Throughout the exam his thoughts had constantly drifted out of the classroom and far away from the university to a police station in the city centre and the cell where Jack was being held, severely impairing his ability to give sensible, considered answers to the questions in front of him. Maybe I should have said yes when the college said I could take the exam another time. But I wanted to show Jack I still believe in the future, he thought as he moved towards the door. I have to...without him I’m nothing and no-one.

Ignoring invitations from a couple of his classmates to join them for a post-exam coffee, he made his way quickly down the stairs, stopping briefly at the men’s toilet before hurrying outside for some much needed fresh air. But as he pushed through the crowds of students to go in search of peace and quiet, he had a sudden sense of being watched and he scanned his immediate vicinity, finally locking eyes with the man who had clearly been waiting for him to emerge.

Instantly on edge, he strode forward. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he snarled.

"Hello, Ennis," Jamie said quietly.

Narrowing his eyes, he moved closer, his fists clenching instinctively. "I asked you a question."

Jamie nodded, seemingly undaunted by his menacing tone. "You did. And I’ll tell you, although I’d appreciate it if you backed off a bit and stopped looking at me like I’m something you just stood in. You’re drawing attention to yourself."

He glanced around, noticing several people look away quickly. "All right," he muttered, taking a pace backwards and forcing himself to relax, not wanting to create a scene. "So why are you here?"

"Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private to discuss that."

"No," he snapped. "I’m not going anywhere with you. You can say whatever you need to say right here." He glared at Jamie, the memories of Barcelona flooding back. His temper bubbling just under boiling point, he waited for Jamie’s response.

Finally, Jamie sighed. "Okay, if that’s what you want. I’m here because I’m Jack’s lawyer and I need to talk to you about your brother’s murder."

***

"How the fuck did you become Jack’s lawyer?" Ennis asked several minutes later as they stopped at the edge of the campus’ man-made lake. He’d grabbed Jamie’s arm the second the other man had finished his sentence and led him here, instantly recognising that Jamie had been right about needing some privacy.

Turning to face him, Jamie shrugged. "Jack called Paul from the police station. He asked for help finding someone to represent him...I guess he thought Sinead would probably know a lawyer in Dublin. But she didn’t, so Paul came to see me instead."

"Fucking Paul," Ennis muttered. "I didn’t even know you were a lawyer."

"Yeah, well, it wasn’t something we discussed in Barcelona, was it?" Jamie said sheepishly. He regarded Ennis for a moment then went on. "Look, Ennis. You have good reason to hate me. I was a complete bastard to you on the stag weekend and I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk to me. But I know you don’t want Jack to go to prison for something we both know he didn’t do, so I hope you can find a way to trust me enough to help me get him acquitted."

Ennis hooked his thumbs into his jeans pockets. "You think you can do that?"

"Yeah," Jamie told him. "I do. But I can’t do it without you. I need...I need you to tell me all about your brother and the trouble he was in, particularly with regards to the guys he owed money to. Jack told me some of it, but I don’t think he knows the full story. I need..."

"How is he?" Ennis interrupted, his voice trembling slightly.

Jamie sighed. "Jack? He’s okay, all things considered. He’s scared, of course, but he’s bearing up pretty well so far."

"Can I go and see him?"

"No, not just now. He’ll be in court later today to be formally charged. After that he’ll either be released on bail or, as is more likely since he’s not an Irish citizen, remanded in custody until his trial."

Ennis’s chin quivered. "Custody? Like...prison?"

"Yeah," Jamie nodded. "But from what the police were saying yesterday, I think the trial will be quite soon, so hopefully he won’t be locked up for long."

"Hopefully..." Ennis whispered, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, Jamie could see tears there. "Can I see him after he’s been in court?"

"I don’t think that would be a good idea," Jamie said softly. "Look, Ennis, I know this is really hard for you, but it’s best if you don’t have any contact with Jack until after the trial."

Ennis brought his hand up to his mouth and chewed on his thumbnail for a moment, never once taking his eyes off Jamie. "Jack told you, didn’t he? About...about me and him...about our relationship?" he finally asked.

"Yeah, he did," Jamie admitted. "I was surprised at first, but..."

"It doesn’t bother you?"

Jamie shook his head. "No, not at all. I believe people should be free to be with who they want to be with, Ennis, and I have no time for anyone who says otherwise."

"Then why?" Ennis asked, frowning.

Jamie looked confused. "Why what?"

"Why were you so mean to me in Barcelona? I thought it was because you realised I was gay. I thought you picked up on the way I looked at Jack or something."

Jamie glanced away for a moment then walked slowly across to a nearby bench and sat down, gesturing for Ennis to join him. At first Ennis stood his ground but finally he relented and took a seat at the other end of the bench.

Without looking up, Jamie started to speak, his voice low and serious. "Ennis, my best pal growing up went through something very similar to you. His father was a hard man who believed strongly in the old saying spare the rod, spoil the child and he was never one to hold back with the belt, even when he had no reason to lash out." He took a breath then went on. "There was nothing my mate could do when he was a little kid, obviously, but it went on long after he grew taller and stronger than his dad. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t fight back, why he continued to let his dad knock him around, why he believed it was his fault. We had so many arguments about it until eventually we drifted apart, unable to agree on what he should do. But that meant he had no-one to turn to when things got really out of hand." He raised his head and met Ennis’s eyes. "When I heard he’d taken his own life, I told myself I was never going to let myself get close to someone that screwed up again. I felt there was nothing I could do to help someone if they didn’t want to be helped, so why put myself through it? I guess that’s why I’m a defence lawyer, because at least my clients want me to help them." He shrugged and sighed. "Ennis, I treated you badly on the stag weekend because I saw the same lost look in your eyes that I once saw in my pal’s, and it freaked me out. But I’m so sorry. I wish I’d offered you the support I failed to give him, the support I should have given him."

"Shit," Ennis mumbled, biting his lip.

Jamie edged closer. "You’ve changed so much in the last ten months, though," he told Ennis. "Jack told me about you standing up to your brother and trying to help him out of the hole he’d dug for himself. Jack’s really proud of you, and I can see why."

"I couldn’t have done it without Jack," Ennis said, a faint blush rising to his cheeks. "He gave me the strength to fight...gave me something worth fighting for. I don’t know what I’ll do if...if he..." His voice broke and put his head in his hands, the idea of Jack being sent to prison too much to contemplate. "I need him, Jamie" he whispered through his fingers. "He gave me my life back but it means nothing if he’s not there to share it with me."

"I know," Jamie murmured sympathetically. "But he will be, you have to believe that. With your help..."

Ennis cut him off. "What can I do?" he asked, his voice suddenly stronger and more business-like. "Just tell me. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll do anything."

"Well," Jamie said. "I’m going to need you to testify."

Ennis’s eyes grew wide, panic spreading through him like wildfire. "Te...testify?" he stammered. "About my relationship with Jack?"

"That will probably come up, yeah," Jamie replied quietly. "I won’t make a big deal out of it, but I can’t promise you the prosecution won’t try to use your relationship as a reason for Jack killing K.E."

"You mean because of the abuse?"

Jamie shook his head. "No. Correct me if I’m wrong, but both Paul and Jack led me to believe no one knows about that. You never reported K.E., and it’s not something he was likely to brag about, so I’d be willing to bet the only people who know the truth are those you or Jack have told. There’s a chance the prosecution will find out, or we might bring it up ourselves, but the abuse wasn’t the reason I was thinking of."

"What then?" he asked, barely finishing the question before understanding dawned. "You mean because K.E. hated gay folks, don’t you?"

"Yes," Jamie answered. "Your brother’s homophobia was well known around Dublin and when the prosecution look for motive, I’m pretty sure that’s where they’ll end up. It’s perfect, really. A known homophobe finds out his little brother is gay and confronts him about it, then the younger brother’s male partner takes offence and murders the older brother to stop him making things hard for them. When you add in the male partner’s fingerprints being on the murder weapon, and the older brother’s blood being on the alleged murderer’s shirt, it starts to look pretty bad."

"Wait...Jack’s fingerprints are on the weapon? What weapon?"

Jamie looked at him. "A cast iron skillet."

Ennis’s jaw fell open. "But...but that’s what K.E. used to attack Jack when we went to see him last week!" he exclaimed. "I took it off K.E. then Jack took it and laid it on the counter...that’s why his prints are on there! And I bet the shirt you’re talking about was the one Jack was wearing that day. K.E. had a nasty injury on his face when we arrived because one of Malachy’s men had just been to see him and..."

"I know, Ennis. Calm down," Jamie said, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Jack already told me all that...but it’s good to hear it from you, too. And that’s why you need to testify. The evidence and the statement from the witness are only damning if there’s no one to refute them, to tell the jury what really happened. You can do that, and you can also tell them about how Jack was later that night and the next morning, because you were with him."

"But..."

"Look, I know the idea of standing up in front of a jury and telling them about the way things were between you and K.E. is frightening. And I know it might be even harder for you to admit to being in a relationship with Jack. But you’re the only one who can tell them, Ennis."

Ennis shook his head. "That’s not what I was going to say. I mean...yeah, I’m scared, but I said I’d do anything to help Jack and I meant it. But I didn’t spend the whole night with him...he went back to K.E.’s house to find his jacket. I can’t lie about that...and I don’t know what he did while he was gone."

"I wouldn’t ask you to lie," Jamie responded. "And I know you have no way of knowing what Jack did in that time. But you do know that he was back in bed less than an hour after leaving the hotel. And you can tell the jury about how Jack acted when he returned. Did he seem distracted or nervous? Did he have blood on his hands and clothes? Things like that."

"But that doesn’t prove anything, does it?"

"No, but the important thing to remember is it’s not up to the defendant to prove his innocence. If the prosecution can’t prove Jack’s guilt, then the jury can’t convict him," Jamie stated. "As I told Jack, the more doubt we can cast on the prosecution’s assertions, the better."

Ennis frowned. "But I don’t want Jack to go through his whole life with this hanging over him. There’s no way he killed my brother, Jamie, and we need to prove that, for Jack’s sake."

"I thought you might say that," Jamie said. "And, for what it’s worth, I agree with you, so it’s just as well I’ve got another plan of campaign."

"You do?"

Jamie gave a confident smile. "Yeah. I’ll tell you in a while, but first I need you to tell me who you think killed your brother."

"Malachy," Ennis replied without a moment’s hesitation. "Or one of his men, anyway, since I doubt Malachy would get his hands dirty. That’s not his style." He looked up and saw Jamie nodding, as though he’d expected the answer. "If I had to guess, I’d say they came for their money but my eejit of a brother had already blown some of it on drink or horses, so they killed him, just like they said they would." He looked down at his hands for a moment then faced Jamie again, his eyes showing fear and defiance in equal measure. "They threatened to kill both of us," he whispered.

Jamie’s jaw fell open.

"Yeah," Ennis breathed. "So I hope that plan of yours involves getting the real culprits locked up for K.E.’s murder, because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. Not when Jack and I have so much to look forward to. So tell me what you need to know, and I’ll do my best to help you."

"Alright," Jamie said. "Basically, I want to know everything about Malachy and his gang. Who are they? What are they like as individuals? How does each of them fit in to the organisation? Do any of them have any weaknesses? Things that might make them talk? I’ve dealt with small-time gangsters before and, in my experience, it often doesn’t take much to get them bragging about the crimes they’ve committed." He cleared his throat before going on. "I also need to know how often they threatened you and your brother and whether anyone else ever heard those threats. Sowing the seeds in the minds of the jury is all well and good, but it would be better if we can find someone to help those seeds grow."

Ennis looked confused. "But folks are terrified of Malachy...I don’t think you’ll find anyone willing to point the finger at him. Hell, even the police didn’t want to know when I mentioned his name."

Jamie nodded. "I’m sure you’re right. But that’s okay, because if I’m right about Malachy’s gang then if we pull the rope tight enough, they’ll end up hanging themselves."

***

"First time I was aware of K.E.’s involvement with Malachy was around four and a half years ago," Ennis said as he settled into his seat in the university coffee bar. He took a sip of his cappuccino then leaned forward so he could keep his voice low. "We’d been struggling to make ends meet since our folks died, with K.E. in and out of work and me still at school. I knew K.E. spent a fair amount on drink and I had a vague awareness of his betting habit, but I had no idea how serious it was. I guess at that stage I only saw the upside of it, the nights when he brought home fresh meat or fish because he’d backed a winner."

"So what changed?" Jamie asked.

"I came home from school one afternoon to find a strange man trying to get into our house," Ennis replied. "I knew K.E. wasn’t home so I shouted out, not thinking about the risks or consequences. It was probably stupid, but I just wanted to stop him breaking in. Anyway, my shout made him turn round and when he saw me standing there, he stopped what he was doing and moved towards me. As he got nearer, I noticed he was considerably shorter than me, which gave me the confidence to stand my ground...well, that and the fact that I could see a couple of our neighbours in their garden, clearly ready to jump in if the guy tried anything," he added with a humourless chuckle. "Fortunately, he must have been aware of them too because he kept his hands firmly in his pockets."

Jamie whistled. "That must have been a relief."

"Yeah, it was. But, when he got close enough, he spoke to me, and his words sent a chill down my spine because he clearly knew who I was. He told me to tell my brother that time was up and Malachy wanted his money back. When I asked him what he meant he said K.E would know. Then he said ‘just make sure he gets the message, Ennis’ and pushed past me with a grin, showing off both his gold teeth and the ugly scar on his right cheek. I found out much later his name was Brendan and he was Malachy’s right hand man."

"Did you pass the message on?"

"Yeah, of course. I was only fourteen, and I didn’t want to do anything that might upset K.E., so I told him as soon as he got home. K.E. explained that he’d borrowed some cash from a man in the bookie a month or so back and he hadn’t been able to repay it. But he also said he would sort it out the next day, and I assumed that would be the end of it," Ennis recounted. "It wasn’t, of course," he added with a sigh.

Jamie sipped his coffee. "So what happened next?"

"A couple of months later Brendan came to the house again, this time with Malachy in tow. K.E. was home and he sent me up to my room while he talked to the men, but I wanted to know what was going on so I hid in the hall cupboard instead and listened to their conversation. It seemed K.E. had paid the money back the first time, but he’d quickly got himself into debt again, to a far higher level. The figure they were discussing was just over a thousand euros." He paused to finish his drink then went on. "I heard Brendan threaten to hurt K.E. if he didn’t find a way to pay them back but then they all dropped their voices and I couldn’t hear anything else. But by the time they left around half an hour later, Malachy and Brendan seemed to be in fairly high spirits, so I knew they’d sorted something out. It turned out K.E. gave them one of my ma’s rings in order to keep them happy for a while...it was only worth around half of what he owed, but it was obviously enough not just to keep them at bay, but also to encourage them to lend him more money." He snorted. "Maybe they thought we had an endless supply of expensive jewellery or something, but they couldn’t have been more wrong."

"Okay," Jamie said. "So how often did they come calling?"

Ennis shrugged. "I don’t know exactly...maybe once every three or four months for the next three years or so? K.E. always seemed to find a way to keep them happy, but I could tell he was getting deeper and deeper into trouble. Sometimes he’d come home with a black eye or a busted nose and although he would tell me he’d been involved in a bar brawl, it wasn’t too hard to work out he was lying. When Malachy’s men put him in hospital with the injuries I told you about on the stag weekend, I confronted him and he finally admitted he owed almost four thousand euros, including interest."

Jamie swallowed loudly. "Shit. I thought you made the story of his injuries up to get attention."

"Yeah, well, now you know the truth," Ennis replied with a rueful smile. "But it doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting Jack off so let’s just concentrate on that and forget about what happened in Barcelona, okay?"

Jamie nodded thankfully. "Alright. So when did Malachy’s men start threatening you?"

"Just after I came back to Dublin from the stag weekend," Ennis told him. "K.E. was out of hospital but he was still laid up so he sent me out to get him a bottle of whiskey. Malachy and Brendan cornered me on my way back from the shop and told me to tell K.E. that if he didn’t settle his debts, they’d send him straight to the morgue next time. Then they pulled a knife on me and said if they couldn’t find him, they’d take it out on me instead." He signalled to the waitress for more coffees then turned back to Jamie. "I had some money saved from various part time jobs, money I’d been putting away since the first time Brendan came round, hoping to one day pay the gang off...but I never got the chance because..."

"Because he found the money and squandered it on the horses," Jamie finished. At Ennis’s startled expression, he shrugged. "Jack told me about that and all about the deal you worked out and the way K.E. betrayed your trust, leaving you right in the line of fire. God, I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to deal with, Ennis, I really am." He reached out and put his hand on Ennis’s arm. "Jack said...well, he said he’s sorry about K.E. and he wishes he could hold you, tell you everything’s going to be okay."

"He said that?"

"Yeah," Jamie nodded. "He also said to tell you that he...he loves you."

Ennis closed his eyes at Jamie’s words, struggling to maintain his dignity as emotion washed over him. All those horrible things I’ve had to talk about and I lose it because he tells me Jack loves me. Jesus, maybe K.E. was right about me being a pansy. But...damn...I love him too, and I never got the chance to tell him. But I will...I will.

He rubbed his face harshly then met Jamie’s eyes. "Then you better get to work getting him acquitted, because he deserves to hear me say those words back and I’m damned if I’m going to say them in a prison visiting room."

No Matter What - Chapter 17

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:03:19 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 17
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot.

Author's Note: Well, Em came through for me (as ever) so, contrary to my post last night, here's the new chapter. Hopefully next week's will be up on time, but that may be the last one before Christmas as things are pretty hectic. I'll let you know for sure next week. Anyway, on with the chapter...

Jack was dozing on the bed in his holding cell when the lock rattled and the door swung open. The officer who’d looked after him earlier put his head round the door. "Wakey, wakey! You’ve got a visitor," he said.

Jack’s eyes flew open, his heart beating double time. Ennis. Ennis has come to see me. He can straighten all this out. It’s going to be okay! But when the officer retreated and his visitor came into the room, his spirits sank.

"Hello, Jack."

"Jamie? What the f...what are you doing here?"

Paul’s friend...and Ennis’s chief tormentor from the stag weekend...came fully into the cell and sat down opposite Jack. "I’m your lawyer," he said simply.

"You’re my lawyer," Jack repeated, staring at Jamie. "Uh...since when?"

Jamie shrugged. "Since Paul came to see me this morning and told me what happened to you. He asked me if I could help."

"He did? But I thought...I mean, at the stag weekend you were...shit..." Jack sighed, struggling to get his question out. "Look, I thought you didn’t like me...or Ennis. Why would you agree to help?"

Jamie leaned back against the wall. "Where do I start? Because I was a complete shit to you both...Ennis especially...in Barcelona. Because Paul filled me in about the things K.E. did to Ennis and it brought back some painful memories. Because I know you’ve been trying to help him and I admire you for that. And because...because Paul says he believes wholeheartedly in your innocence, and his faith is good enough for me." He paused, meeting Jack’s eyes. "Jack, I know we didn’t get off to the best of starts in Barcelona, but you can trust me, I swear. I’m good at what I do. I won’t let them send you to prison for a crime you didn’t commit."

***

Jack stared at Jamie for several long minutes, trying to see past the smart clothes and briefcase and into the man’s heart. The abuse Jamie had thrown at Ennis over the course of their weekend in Barcelona was still clear in his mind and he couldn’t help but feel a certain amount of resentment towards Paul’s friend. But back then Jamie hadn’t known about Ennis’s life, hadn’t understood why Ennis reacted badly to questions about his brother and hadn’t seen the scars which Ennis bore beneath his clothes. All Jamie saw was a stroppy teenager whose refusal to join in threatened to spoil Paul’s big weekend. Looking back now, he had to admit that, had he not seen the other side of Ennis when they were alone together, he may well have treated Ennis in much the same way. He wasn’t sure how Ennis would feel about seeing Jamie again...and particularly about having to talk to him...but he knew his options were limited, and Paul clearly trusted Jamie to get him out of the terrible situation he found himself in.

Realising there was only one possible answer, he gave a weak smile and nodded. "Okay, let’s do this."

"Right," Jamie replied. "I’m assuming the police haven’t said much to you about what you’re accused of?"

Jack shook his head. "No. I asked, but they said they couldn’t discuss it."

"Well, that’s pretty standard. I’m sure there’s plenty they haven’t told me yet, but I did get a basic summary out of them when I told them I was your lawyer." Jamie paused and shrugged. "They wouldn’t have told me anything otherwise, so I had to say that."

"Yeah, it’s okay," Jack said. "So what did they tell you?"

Jamie checked his notes. "K.E. died sometime between nine pm and midnight on Sunday. Both his wrists were slit, but the actual cause of death was a series of severe blows to the head, so it obviously wasn’t suicide."

"Shit," Jack breathed. "What did they hit him with?"

Jamie read further down the page, apparently re-checking the facts. When he finally looked up, concern was etched on his face. "Uh...a cast iron skillet," Jamie answered quietly. Jack’s spirits plummeted. "Your fingerprints were all over it, Jack," his lawyer confirmed.

Jack’s shoulders slumped and he brought his hands up to cover his face. "Shit," he whispered. "I didn’t do it, Jamie, I swear. Those fingerprints...they must have got on the skillet on Thursday when Ennis and I first went to see K.E." He screwed his eyes up, thinking hard. Suddenly, his head shot up. "That’s it! K.E. attacked me with that skillet when I challenged him over the abuse he’d inflicted on Ennis. Ennis prised it out of his hand then I took it from Ennis and laid it on the counter. That’s why my prints are on there." He looked at Jamie triumphantly for a second but then frowned. "But the police didn’t have my prints until a few hours ago. So why did they arrest me?"

"The police said they received a call late on Sunday night alerting them to a disturbance at K.E.’s house. When they got there, K.E. was already dead and there was no sign of the killer," Jamie informed him. He checked his notes again. "They spoke to the next door neighbour, who made the call, and he told them he’d seen two men leaving the house earlier. One of them he recognised and identified as K.E.’s brother. The other was unknown to him but he told the police the man had blood on his t-shirt and he was shouting at K.E. and threatening to kill him. He also told them K.E. shouted back at the man and although he didn’t catch all of what was said, he heard K.E. yelling the name Jack Twist."

Jamie got up and stretched his legs, pacing round the small cell for a moment before going on. "Jack, they also found an envelope with your name and your hotel room number on it lying on the kitchen table. The prints on that matched the ones on the skillet...and the police have since confirmed that they’re yours. As for the t-shirt...well, they found a bloodstained t-shirt in your luggage. The forensic results aren’t back on that yet, but I’m guessing from the look on your face it’s safe to assume the blood is K.E.’s?"

"Yeah," Jack replied morosely, realising how bad things looked. "But it’s from Thursday, too. K.E. was hurt when Ennis and I arrived. I helped Ennis patch him up and some of his blood got on my t-shirt. And all the shouting the neighbour reported? That was the same day. We were there yesterday, but it was early in the afternoon, round about two o’clock. I know that because I had a hire car and I had to take it back by four. You can check with the rental company."

"I will, although that doesn’t prove you didn’t go back there later."

"I know. But I didn’t do it. I wouldn’t do anything to make Ennis’s life any tougher. You have to believe me, Jamie."

Jamie nodded and eased himself back into his seat. "Then I guess you better tell me the whole story."

***

Jamie listened intently as Jack recounted his tale, starting from the phone call he’d received from a clearly scared and hurt Ennis, continuing through his dash to Dublin and the two trips to see K.E., and ending with the police apprehending him at the airport that morning. As Jack spoke, Jamie took several pages of notes, underlining what he felt were the most salient points, writing question marks when he felt Jack was holding something back, awkwardness in Jack’s eyes highlighting the gaps in the story.

When Jack finally stopped talking, Jamie flipped back a few pages in his notebook and cleared his throat. "Why did Ennis call you?"

Jack frowned. "I told you. Because he was hurt."

"Yes, I know that. But if he’d been seriously hurt, surely he would have called an ambulance instead? And, since he didn’t, he presumably wasn’t too badly injured. So why did he call someone who was on the other side of the Irish Sea? If he wanted comfort it would have made far more sense for him to call a friend in Dublin."

"He doesn’t really have any friends here in Dublin," Jack said, shrugging.

"But he’s staying with a friend now, isn’t he? Why didn’t Ennis call him?" Jamie asked. "You have to help me here, Jack. Why did he call you?"

Jack blinked. "Because I told him to, all right? I told him if things got too tough, if his brother hurt him again, he was to call me right away and I’d do anything I could to help him."

Jamie cocked his head to the side, looking puzzled. "That’s a strong vow to make to a friend," he said, putting emphasis on the last word. He regarded Jack for a moment then sighed. "Look, Jack. I know there’s something you’re not telling me. I’m sure you’ve got good reasons for that, but I can’t do this unless you’re completely honest with me. I need to know everything. Imagine what it’ll look like if the prosecution uncovers something you’ve kept from me."

Jack looked down, carefully studying his hands, the vein at his temple throbbing as he weighed up his options. Finally, he nodded and raised his head. "Ennis and I are much more than friends, have been since Barcelona," he murmured. He waited for a few moments, his eyes trained on Jamie’s face, watching for a reaction. Encouraged by the lack of any revulsion, he continued. "That’s when I first noticed the scars on his body, but I didn’t discuss it with him until after Paul and Sinead’s wedding, when he came back to my house for a couple of days. He got a bit freaked out when I first mentioned that I knew, but eventually he calmed down and told me the whole story. It went on for five years, Jamie, and it wasn’t just the occasional beating." He choked back a sob and shook his head. "I didn’t do it, but that bastard got what he deserved."

"Alright, alright," Jamie muttered, motioning to Jack to bite his tongue. Dropping his voice he went on. "You can’t say things like that, Jack, however true they are. You have to keep your emotions in check. There are certain things the accused should never say and he deserved it is right at the top of that list. Now, tell me about you and Ennis. He called you because you’re lovers?"

"Partners," Jack corrected. "Or, at least, we will be when he moves to Chester after he finishes college. I love him, Jamie, and I know he loves me, too. I came to Dublin to help him because I can’t bear the idea of losing him."

"And did K.E. know about Ennis’s sexuality before you turned up?"

Jack shook his head. "No...although Ennis thinks his brother suspected. He thinks maybe that’s why K.E. beat him."

"And you don’t?"

"No. I think K.E. beat him because he was a drunk who couldn’t handle responsibility. Becoming Ennis’s guardian at a relatively young age was obviously too much for him and it started him on a downward spiral from which he couldn’t escape."

Jamie nodded. "So he found out about your relationship with Ennis when the two of you went to see him on Thursday, right?"

"Yeah, that’s right. K.E. is...was...a homophobe with a history of attacking gay men and he went ballistic once he worked it out. He threatened Ennis and said he was going to call the police on me."

"What did you say to that?"

"I told him to go right ahead," Jack answered. "I thought it would be interesting to see what the police did when the full story of K.E.’s abuse came to light. That stopped him in his tracks for a moment, but he was soon back to screaming obscenities at me and calling me disgusting names. And then he attacked me with the skillet."

"Right," Jamie said, reading his notes back. "But Ennis came back into the room and stopped him?" He waited until Jack confirmed this with a nod before going on. "So did you threaten K.E. at that point? Or did you leave the house then shout your threats back at him?"

Jack looked puzzled. "I did it then. Why?"

"Because the witness said he overheard the man in the blood stained t-shirt threaten to kill K.E. He said he was taking his rubbish out at the time, but if you were inside it’s unlikely he would have heard your argument, isn’t it? So, think carefully. Are you sure you were still inside the house when you made your threat to finish K.E. off yourself?"

Jack frowned, thinking hard, before answering Jamie. "Yeah, I’m absolutely sure. We were still in the kitchen."

"Okay," Jamie said. "So what about Sunday? Did you have a fight with K.E. in the street then?"

"Not exactly, no. Like I said, we took the car so we could collect all of Ennis’s things to drop off at Kieran’s flat. I decided it was better to wait until we had everything loaded up before handing the money over...a kind of insurance policy against K.E. hurting either of us. Anyway, as we did that, K.E. came outside and started shouting about finding us and showing us what happens to faggots," he said, grimacing at having to use the ugly word. "He was really angry, at me for saying he couldn’t have anything to do with Ennis until he got himself cleaned up, and at Ennis for not disagreeing with me."

Jamie nodded. "Yeah, I guess having Ennis take your side against him would make K.E. pretty irate."

"Yeah, you could say that. Anyway, Ennis got in the car and I went over to give K.E. the envelope with the money in it. I had my jacket in my hand, but I laid it down so I’d have both hands free if he tried anything."

"And what did you say to him? Try to remember the exact words."

Jack closed his eyes, replaying the scene in his head. When he opened them again, he spoke softly. "I told him to stay away from Ennis and from me. Then I said that if he came looking for Ennis and did anything to cause him pain, I would kill him." He sighed deeply, not bothering to hide his uncertainty and fear. "I guess that’s what the witness heard."

"You’re probably right," Jamie agreed. "But there are plenty of discrepancies in the witness’ story. He said you had blood on your shirt when you were threatening K.E., but you didn’t, not on Sunday anyway. And he also said he saw you coming out of the house much later, alone. But presumably, once you dropped the car off, you and Ennis went back to your hotel and stayed there for the rest of the night? I mean, it was your last night together so I assume you wanted some time alone," he added.

Jack allowed himself a small smile, his thoughts drifting back to the night he and Ennis had shared, making passionate love then dozing in each other’s arms until such times as they were ready to go again. "Yeah, we did," he whispered, a lump forming in his throat at the prospect of never again sharing that intimacy with Ennis should Jamie fail to have him acquitted. But then another memory pushed its way to the fore and he swallowed hard, its severity blocking out all other thoughts.

Jamie opened his mouth to speak but then paused, somehow sensing Jack had something else to say. Jack bit his lip and clenched his fists nervously. "What is it, Jack?" Jamie coaxed gently.

"It’s just...well...the thing is...I did go back to K.E.’s house last night. I...I remembered I’d left my jacket handing on the gate post so I went back to get it."

"Oh Jesus," Jamie murmured. "Did Ennis go with you?"

"No," Jack answered, shaking his head. "I thought it was best for Ennis to stay in the hotel rather than going near K.E. again. I figured it would only take about half an hour, there and back, so there was no point in both of us getting dressed again."

"So you got a taxi?"

"Yeah. There’s a taxi rank right outside the hotel so I grabbed one there. I asked the driver to take me to Ballsbridge and then wait while I looked for my jacket. I figured it would still be hanging where I left it, and I was right."

Jamie nodded. "Well, that’s good. All we need to do is find the taxi driver and he can tell the court you didn’t go inside K.E.’s house."

"Hmmm," Jack mumbled, frowning. "He could...except the taxi broke down about half a mile short of K.E.’s house...up on the main road...and I had to walk the last bit." He ran a hand through his hair. "When I got back to the road after picking my coat up, the taxi was still sitting there, but the driver was nowhere to be seen so he can’t even testify that I wasn’t there long enough to kill K.E."

"Shit," Jamie sighed. "Did you get another taxi back to the hotel?"

"Yeah. From the main road."

Jamie shrugged his shoulders. "Well, okay. Then we’ll find both drivers and get the hire times for the two cabs. It won’t prove anything, but at least it’ll show you weren’t at K.E.’s house for very long."

"Great," Jack said, rolling his eyes sarcastically. "So, as long as I can prove it would take me longer than half an hour to walk to K.E.’s house and back, I’m off the hook?"

"Don’t knock it, Jack," Jamie told him firmly. "The more seeds of doubt we can sow in the jury’s minds, the better. We’ve already got the confusion over the next door neighbour’s statement, with respect to what days he saw you and what clothes you were wearing at the time, and this will help, too."

Jack took a breath. "Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, Jamie. It’s been a long day and it’s just...well, it doesn’t sound like much in the way of a defence."

"It’s only the start, Jack. What I really need to do is find out the full story behind the gangsters you mentioned earlier. It’s probably not the best thing to say, given K.E.’s addictions, but if I were a betting man, I’d put my house on them being the culprits."

Jack raised a hopeful eyebrow. "So can’t you just go to the police and tell them about Malachy’s gang?"

"I can’t do that. They arrested you because of the witness statement, and your presumed guilt is backed up by the fingerprints and the blood on your t-shirt. There’s obviously no evidence against anyone else, otherwise they would have waited a while before making an arrest." He placed his notes into his briefcase and closed the lid quietly. "No, we need to be more subtle about it, drop hints into testimonies and make suggestions during cross examinations. With enough of those, the jury will find it very hard to convict you." He stood up and moved towards the door. When he reached it, he paused with his hand on the knob and turned back. "I’ve dealt with guys like Malachy before, Jack, and I’ve got an idea of how to handle this. But I need to speak to Ennis and do a bit of digging before I’m willing to say anymore."

"You...you’re going to see Ennis?" Jack asked quietly.

"Of course," Jamie replied, nodding.

"But he...he’s not going to trust you, Jamie. Not after Barcelona."

Jamie frowned. "But I wasn’t purposefully trying to hurt him. I mean...I was just trying to get him to join in with things."

"Yeah, I can see that now, but to him you were just another person treating him like shit," Jack said. "Answering back never worked with his brother, and neither did trying to do what K.E. wanted. He had no reason to believe it would be any different with you."

"Shit," Jamie sighed. "If I’d known about K.E. and all the things Ennis went through there’s no way I would have behaved like that." He shrugged. "Well, I’ll just have to apologise to him and try to make him understand. Hopefully when he hears I’m here to help you, he’ll be able to forgive me. His testimony is important, Jack."

Jack’s heart skipped a beat at Jamie’s words. Although he knew Ennis had come a long way in the months they’d known each other, he felt certain Ennis wouldn’t want to talk about his life or his brother in front of strangers, and he dreaded what the experience could do to Ennis. Shaking his head, he made a decision, not caring what effect it could have on his own chances of freedom. "I don’t want him to have to testify," he said forcefully.

"What?"

"You heard me," Jack answered. "He’s only told a couple of people about the abuse he suffered and I don’t want him to be forced to talk about it in court, in front of so many people he doesn’t know. Reopening old wounds like that could really set him back."

"But he’s the only person who knows the truth about what happened between you and K.E.," Jamie argued. "And he’s also the only one who can tell the court about Malachy. He has to testify, Jack."

"But..."

Jamie stopped him. "This isn’t negotiable. I know you want to protect him and that’s admirable in the current circumstances, but you have to let him do the same for you. I’ll look after him, I promise. Trust me, okay?"

Jack took a deep breath then nodded slowly. "Okay, but go easy on him with the questions. I know K.E. was a monster, but he was still Ennis’s brother and the news will have hit him hard." He cast his eyes down towards the floor, his lashes suddenly damp, and spoke softly. "I wish I could be there to hold him. Tell him that, will you? Tell him I’m sorry and tell him...tell him I love him."

Jamie moved closer and placed his hand on Jack’s shoulder for a moment, squeezing lightly. "I will, Jack. Look, I know it’s hard but try not to worry and try to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow."

Jack stood as Jamie left the room then walked over to the small bed in the corner and slumped down on it, his elbows propped on his knees and his head buried deep in his hands. A jumble of images and thoughts flitted through his brain...Ennis smiling down at him as they made love...K.E. hurling abuse at both of them...himself and Ennis reaching for each other but finding the path to their embrace blocked by bars. He jerked upright and let out a howl of pain, distress and helplessness before collapsing back onto the bed, his tears soaking the pillow long before fitful sleep finally claimed him.

No Matter What - Update

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:16:50 GMT

Hey friends

Just a quick update to say that Chapter 17 of No Matter What will, unfortunately, not be posted on Tuesday this week. My wonderful beta has been extremely busy recently and hasn't had the time to get the chapter back to me - and I'm not willing to post it unbeta'd, so I'm afraid there will be a small delay.

With luck (actually, mainly as long as Em doesn't catch the cold her whole family has) it'll be up later this week - maybe Wednesday but more likely Thursday.

Sorry...

No Matter What - Chapter 16

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:26:52 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 16
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. This chapter would have been far weaker had it not been for your honesty.

Author's Note: So here we are at the start of the final part of this story. I'm still writing it, so I'm not sure yet how many more chapters there will be, and I can't promise to stick to the chapter a week posting schedule because the next month is pretty busy, but I'll do my best. Oh, and my knowledge of the legal system in Ireland (or anywhere else for that matter) is pretty much non existant, so please excuse any glaring flaws...

After Jack left the room, Ennis took a quick shower and gathered together his things then made his way down the stairs, his rucksack over his shoulder. Jack had already checked out via the room’s television, so all he had to do was drop the key-card into the return box at the reception desk before heading off to college, deciding he may as well get an early start to studying for his exams.

As he left the building, a police car came to a stop outside the hotel and two Gards ran past him into the foyer. Puzzled, he stopped to glance back, watching them carry on an agitated conversation with the receptionist, who seemed to be checking something on her computer screen. After a minute or so, she turned her screen towards them and pointed out some information, shaking her head. As she did so, she looked up, catching his eye as he watched. He couldn’t be sure, but she seemed to be motioning her head towards the Gards, as if trying to tell him something, although he had no idea what.

Shrugging, he turned away and walked off down the pavement towards the DART station and a busy day at college.

***

The finger printer looked up from the desk. "Left hand now, Mr. Twist," he said gruffly.

Jack took a shaky breath and stretched his left hand forward, pressing his fingertips onto the inkpad and leaving his prints, one finger at a time, on the sheet of paper in front of him. As he did so, he closed his eyes, fighting back the onset of panic over the situation he found himself in. His head was spinning, the events of the early morning and the words of love he’d spoken to Ennis seeming a lifetime away. He squeezed his eyes even tighter, hoping that when he opened them he would be back in his hotel room with Ennis smiling down at him, laughing as he shook off his nightmare. But when he allowed his eyelids to flicker open, his heart sank; the grey walls of the police station and the unfamiliar faces were a stark reality he could not escape from.

"All done," the finger printer said, collecting the sheets of paper together and standing up. Turning to his senior officer he motioned his head in Jack’s direction. "He’s all yours."

The senior officer stepped forward. "Right then, Mr. Twist. I’m assuming you don’t have a lawyer here in Ireland?"

He stared past the officer mutely, his eyes flicking round the room as fear took hold, his stomach beginning to churn.

"Well, you’re going to need one," the officer continued brusquely. "The court can appoint one for you. If I call now, I’m sure they can send someone today. Do you want me to do that?"

He clenched his fists as his palms started to sweat, only vaguely aware of the officer speaking to him. He felt his chest tightening and his breathing become more erratic, his vision blurring as his brain battled for oxygen. Swaying slightly, he shook his head and tried to focus on the officer’s face, fixing his eyes on the man’s moving lips.

"...lawyer, Mr. Twist. Should I call them now? Mr. Twist? Are you all right?"

He blinked, his legs wobbling under him. "Yeah. I just...just need a minute."

The officer pulled a chair forward and took his arm. "Here, sit down. Do you want some water?"

He nodded, slumping into the chair, his head hanging low. He accepted the cup the officer held out and sipped slowly. When his pulse finally slowed, he glanced up. "What...what happened to K.E.?"

"Ah, now, Mr. Twist. I can’t discuss that with you."

"But I don’t even know what it is I’m accused of!" he shouted, indignation giving him renewed strength. "Someone has to tell me what’s going on."

The officer shrugged. "That’s why you need a lawyer. Should I...?"

"No," he said firmly. "I want someone I can trust." He stood up slowly, gathering his thoughts. "I’d like to make a phone call, please."

The officer regarded him for a moment then inclined his head towards a door in the corner of the room. "Through there. You’ve got ten minutes."

***

Jack settled himself on a plastic chair beside the phone and dialled quickly, holding his breath until the call was answered.

"Riverton Software, how can I help you?" a cheerful voice said.

"Hi Jenny, it’s Jack Twist here. Can you put me through to Paul, please?"

"Oh, hi Jack!" the receptionist said. "Paul told me you were in Dublin for a few days. Are you still there? It’s one of my favourite cities in the world. It’s got some really great bars and restaurants. Have you been out and about much, seeing the sights?"

He smiled in spite of himself, her enthusiasm seeping through his defences. But his time was limited. "I’ll tell you all about it when I get back," he said. "But I really need to speak to Paul right now. I’m in a bit of a hurry."

"Oh, of course. Sorry," the receptionist said, sounding chastened. "I’ll put you through right away. See you when you get back."

The sound of Willie Nelson filtered through the receiver for a moment and then Paul came on the line, sounding breathless.

"Hey Jack. What’s up? Did you find Ennis? Is he okay?"

He closed his eyes, picturing chocolate eyes. "Yeah," he answered. "I found him, and he’s fine. He’s got a few new bruises, but nothing that won’t heal. But that’s not why I’m calling. The thing is, Paul...I’m in trouble. I...I’ve been arrested."

"What?" Paul choked out. "Arrested? What for? What have you done?"

"I haven’t done anything, I swear," he breathed, his heart thumping. "But I’ve been accused of the mu...of killing K.E."

He heard Paul’s horrified gasp down the line, then heard some movement, suggesting that Paul had taken the phone somewhere more private. Finally, his friend spoke again, his voice low. "Ennis’s brother?" he asked. "Jesus, Jack. What happened?"

"I...I don’t know. They won’t tell me anything. All I know is I didn’t do it," he whispered, his voice cracking under the strain. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes but he fought them back angrily and carried on, aware of the clock ticking above his head, counting down the last few minutes of his call. "I need a lawyer, Paul. I was hoping maybe...maybe Sinead knows someone here in Dublin? I’m sorry for dumping this on you, but I...I didn’t know who else to call."

Paul sighed deeply, clearly recognising the fear and desperation in his friend’s voice. "Oh, Jack. It’s okay...you did the right thing calling me. You know I’m always here for you. I’ll sort something out, I promise. I don’t know if Sinead knows any lawyers or not, but I do, although he’s here rather than in Ireland. If Sinead can’t help, I’ll give him a call. Don’t worry...someone will be with you by the end of the day, okay?"

He blinked, allowing a solitary tear to trickle down his cheek. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Thanks, Paul. I’m at...uh...Pearse Street Garda station. They said I’d be held here until sometime tomorrow."

"Alright," Paul said. "Jack, try not to worry. I know you didn’t do it. Just stay strong and don’t say anything until the lawyer gets there, okay?"

He nodded and mumbled his thanks once more. But just as Paul was about to hang up, he remembered something. "Paul, wait! Can you...can you get in touch with En...with him and tell him what’s happened? He’s staying with a friend and he’ll be expecting me to call or..." His sentence was cut off by the appearance of the officer in the doorway, a finger pointing at the clock signalling for him to wind up his call. "Paul?"

His friend answered quietly. "Of course I will, Jack."

***

As soon as he hung up, Paul grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and told his team he needed to go out for a while. He grabbed a taxi outside the office, giving the driver his address and asking him to drive as fast as possible.

Once he reached his house, he hurried inside, shouting Sinead’s name. She stuck her head round the kitchen door and frowned, clearly concerned about why he was home so early. Guiding her to a chair, he quickly filled her in on the details of Jack’s call, holding her tightly as the shock of her cousin’s death washed over her.

"What happened to him...to K.E.?" she finally asked.

Paul shrugged. "I don’t know, sweetie. The police haven’t said anything to Jack, other than to accuse him of doing it."

"You don’t think he did?"

"No, I don’t," Paul answered firmly. "I know Jack. He doesn’t have a violent bone in his body."

"You’re right," Sinead said quietly. "But he was pretty angry when he was here, telling us about the abuse K.E. inflicted on Ennis. If he got there and Ennis was really badly hurt, he might have gone looking for revenge."

Paul shook his head. "No. He wanted to take Ennis away from a life of aggression and pain, not expose him to even more. He gained Ennis’s trust by being the exact opposite of K.E...and I don’t believe he would have risked that, just to settle a score."

Sinead nodded, apparently agreeing with his argument. "But what about if K.E. threatened him...or threatened Ennis? Maybe he found out about them being qu...being together, and tried to hurt them. Maybe it was self defence."

"No! Look, I trust Jack. If he says he didn’t do it then he didn’t do it," Paul said, his concern for Jack forcing his words out in a rush, his voice rising. He looked at Sinead, and saw sadness in her eyes, making him soften his tone slightly. "Sweetie, I know K.E. was your cousin, but you know as well as I do he was no angel. He was a gambler and an alcoholic who was in debt up to his ears. It wouldn’t surprise me if the list of those who wanted to kill him was pretty long, and included every lowlife, wannabe gangster in the whole of County Dublin. The police have got the wrong man," he added adamantly.

"Yeah, you’re probably right," Sinead sighed, squeezing Paul’s hand. "So what can we do to help Jack, then?"

"Well, he needs a lawyer, and he needs someone to contact Ennis and let him know what’s happened. Jack told me he’s staying with a friend from college, but he didn’t have time to give me the details," Paul told her. "I guess the best bet is to call the college and ask them to have him call us. I’m sure they’ll do that."

"Yeah, I’m sure they will. I’ll call them in a little while. But what about a lawyer? I can’t think of any I would trust in Dublin."

Paul gave a half-hearted smile. "You worry about getting in touch with Ennis. I’ll take care of the lawyer. I know just the man for the job." He kissed his wife gently on the forehead. "I’ll be back in a while...I think it’ll be easier to explain all this in person instead of over the phone."

***

After Paul departed, Sinead gathered herself together and called Ennis’s college. When she was finally transferred to the Media Studies department, she quickly explained who she was and told them she needed to get in touch with Ennis urgently. The woman on the line was polite but said that Ennis was in a lecture and it was college policy not to interrupt lectures unless it was an emergency. Sinead sighed. Well, let’s see. His brother has been murdered and his boyfriend’s been arrested. Are those big enough emergencies for you? But she knew she couldn’t give voice to those thoughts so she settled instead for imploring the woman to let Ennis know Sinead needed to speak to him the minute he was free.

She hung up and began to pace round the room, pausing on every lap to stare at the phone, willing it to ring. As she paced she contemplated how to tell Ennis about what had happened to both K.E. and Jack. Although she knew K.E. had treated Ennis badly, she felt sure Ennis would still be devastated by his brother’s death and she knew she had to be gentle, especially since the one person Ennis would want to turn to for comfort wasn’t going to be able to provide a shoulder to cry on in the immediate future.

Twenty minutes later, when she’d all but given up on Ennis having received the message, the phone vibrated. She grabbed it before the first ring sounded.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sinead, it’s Ennis."

"Oh Ennis, thank god. I’ve been going frantic."

"Yeah, someone told me you were trying to get in touch. What’s up?"

"Oh god, Ennis. I don’t know what to say. It’s your brother...K.E."

She heard a resigned sigh. "Ah shit, what’s he done?"

"Nothing. I...I mean...he’s...oh Ennis, he’s dead."

"D...dead? No, he...he can’t be. I saw him yesterday. He was okay." Ennis fell silent and she could tell he was trying to make sense of the information, his breathing getting gradually more erratic down the line. Eventually, he spoke again, his voice small and childlike. "Wh...what happened, Sinead?"

"I...I don’t know all the details. God, Ennis, I’m so sorry. He wasn’t the best guardian to you, but he was still your brother and I know you cared about him and wanted to help him."

She picked up on a slight sound which could have been a sob, and then Ennis’s voice was back, filled with emotion. "Yeah, but I failed, and now he’s gone, just like my folks. My whole family..."

"Oh, Ennis. Don’t blame yourself. You tried really hard to help K.E., I know you did. It wasn’t your fault he couldn’t shake his addictions."

There was a moment’s silence on the line then another muffled sob. "So, was it...did he drink himself to death?" Ennis finally asked quietly.

She considered her answer, briefly wondering if it would be better for the police to break the rest of the news to Ennis. But then she realised it would be kinder to have a relative tell him the truth, so he could be prepared when the Gards started asking questions. "No," she replied. "Ennis, I don’t know how to tell you this but...the Gards think K.E. was murdered."

"M...murdered?" Ennis choked out.

"Yeah," she said gently.

"B...but why...who...? Oh god, do the Gards know who did it?"

"They think they do," she answered, biting her lip. "But they’re wrong, Ennis. We know he wouldn’t have..."

Ennis interrupted, anxiety cutting through the sadness in his voice. "Who wouldn’t have...? Wait a minute...what are you saying? Who have they arrested? Tell me, Sinead."

"Ennis, I...it’s Jack. They’ve arrested Jack."

***

Hearing Sinead’s words, Ennis blood turned to ice and the colour drained from his face. He tried to speak but his throat was clogged up and even clawing at his shirt to loosen the collar seemed to have no effect. Through the fog in his head he could hear Sinead speaking random words...something about the airport and police and lawyers...but none of them made any sense. K.E.’s been murdered. He was my only family and now he’s gone. I know I wanted him to leave me alone, but not like this. Not like this. Even the sound of his own name failed to pull him back to the present. And Jack’s been arrested. Jack’s been arrested for murdering my brother. He threatened K.E. but he would never... In his ear, Sinead’s voice grew louder but still he couldn’t focus on her words. K.E. is dead. But he can’t be. Jack gave him the money to pay Malachy back. Malachy...oh jesus, Malachy threatened to kill us both! Him and his men...it had to be them, they did what they promised they’d do. But the Gards think Jack did it. No! It was Malachy! Jack didn’t do it he didn’t do it he didn’t do it he didn’t...he was with me he was...oh god, he wasn’t there all night...

"...nis, are you still there?"

He shook his head violently, trying to clear his muddled brain. "Yeah, I’m here," he whispered, his voice sounding a million miles away to his own ears. His mind went back to the hotel room, after he and Jack had made love. He could see Jack looking for his jacket, suddenly remembering he’d left it on the gate post at K.E.’s house and insisting he had to go back for it. He’d offered to go with Jack but Jack thought it was safer to keep him away from K.E. Jesus, how long was he gone for? Not too long. Not long enough to...oh shit, why did I have to fall asleep right after Jack left? Why didn’t I stay awake till he got back? Why didn’t I insist on going with him?

"Sweetie, you have to listen. I know this is a terrible shock, and it’s right that you should be upset about K.E., but Jack needs your help. Paul’s organising a lawyer and you’ll need to speak to him, tell him everything you know."

He closed his eyes, remembering how cold Jack was when he returned to the hotel room and how eagerly he warmed Jack up. I looked right into his eyes the whole time we made love. There was nothing but tenderness and passion there. If there was guilt or shame I would have seen it...

"Ennis?"

"What? Oh...yeah. Yeah, I’ll talk to the lawyer." But I can’t tell him I wasn’t with Jack all night...but, Jesus, I can’t tell him I was, either. I can’t lie to him. Jesus, what if...what if Jack really did do it to protect me? Maybe K.E. came out and threatened him again when he was collecting his jacket? He might’ve thought it was the only way for me...for us...to be truly safe forever.

"Good. I’m sure he’ll go and see Jack first, at the Garda station, so he might not be able to speak to you until tomorrow. Should he come to the college to see you?"

He told me he would make sure K.E. couldn’t hurt me again...I thought he meant by paying off K.E.’s debts and taking me away from there, but maybe K.E. didn’t give him any choice. But he wouldn’t...he knew I still cared about K.E. and...

"Yeah," he mumbled, a solitary tear carving a track down his cheek.

"Okay, I’ll tell him. Are you going to be okay?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I’ll be fine. ‘Bye, Sinead."

He replaced the receiver slowly then leaned back against the wall, his hands coming up to cover his face, his breathing ragged. He stood that way for several minutes, anger, despair and misery fighting for dominance in his heart and mind, until he sensed someone watching him. Removing his hands he looked up and saw two police officers standing a respectful distance away, clearly waiting for the right moment to break the devastating news.

With a shake of his head he picked up his rucksack. "I already know," he told them quietly as he headed for the door, knowing they would follow.

***

After confirming the news of K.E.’s death, the two officers spent some time with Ennis, taking a statement and asking him a series of questions about his brother. They asked about his relationship with K.E. and he answered as briefly he could, leaving out most of the details, lacking the courage to discuss the abuse with them with the news of his brother’s death so fresh in his mind. When they asked about the last time he saw K.E. he responded honestly, telling them K.E. was angry at him for moving out, but not telling them the main reason for that anger, saying simply he couldn’t carry on living there until K.E. got help for his drinking and gambling problems. They seemed interested in the details of K.E.’s addictions and he elaborated, explaining K.E. had a large debt and the men he owed the money to had been threatening them both. When they pressed him for more information, he felt his excitement rise, the sudden belief that he held the key to Jack’s freedom filling his heart to bursting point. But as he blurted out Malachy’s name he saw the two officers share a guarded look then shake their heads, one of them calmly explaining that they had a man in custody for the murder and, at this time, they had no reason to look elsewhere.

He argued with them briefly but quickly recognized he was fighting a losing battle so he answered their questions about Jack with resignation, telling them he was a friend and stressing that Jack wanted to help K.E., not kill him. Finally, when they started talking about witnesses and evidence, he realised he shouldn’t say any more without first talking to the lawyer Sinead had mentioned. With a deep sigh, he asked them call a halt to the interrogation, reminding them he’d just lost his brother and wasn’t in any fit state to deal with their questions. They reluctantly agreed, but told him they would need to speak to him again, as soon as possible.

Once they departed, he made his way quickly to the library and settled himself into a quiet corner, the peace and solitude allowing him to work things through in his mind. Without having to think too hard he saw the crime unfold in his mind: K.E. ranting and raving as he and Jack had driven away...seeking solace in a bottle...seeing the money lying there, an addict unable to resist its seductive pull...stupidly thinking Malachy’s men wouldn’t notice.

"But they did notice, didn’t they? And they killed you for it, you stupid bastard," he whispered to the brother who could no longer hear him. "Was it worth it, that one last drink? Was it worth losing your life for? And what about the other costs...Jack’s freedom and my future? How could one drink ever be worth all that? Why couldn’t you just give them the money? Why, K.E.?"

As he felt another wave of sadness wash over him, he wished with all his heart that Jack was by his side to hold him and help him through the pain of his brother’s loss. There was some distance between what he knew and what he wanted to believe, but the one thing he knew he could count on was the love he and Jack shared, and he knew it was time for him to be strong for Jack. I’ve lost everyone else I ever cared about. I can’t lose him as well. I won’t lose him as well.

Putting his head down on the desk, he let the tears fall, for his brother, for Jack and for himself.

No Matter What - Chapter 15

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 20:05:17 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 15
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. I would never tell your nitpicky self to screw off ;o)

Next morning, after a hearty hotel breakfast, Jack walked with Ennis to the nearby DART station. As the train approached the platform, Jack leaned in and spoke quietly. "I’ll see you at two, outside the radio studio. And don’t forget to talk to Kieran."

Ennis rolled his eyes theatrically. "Yes, Jack."

"Hey, it’s your safety I’m concerned about, you know," Jack said, pretending to sound hurt.

"Yeah, I know," Ennis laughed. "I’m just teasing." He climbed into the carriage and pulled the door shut, then winked at Jack through the open window. "I’ll see you later."

Once the train disappeared from sight, Jack pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket and set off down the street. He crossed over the Liffey into the heart of Dublin, following the directions Ennis had given him earlier. Before long, he found himself outside the impressive facade of his bank’s Dublin branch. With no time to waste, he hurried inside and requested a private appointment.

"It’s your lucky day," the blond receptionist said, fluttering her eyelashes. "I’ve just this minute had a cancellation and our manager can see you in ten minutes. Can I get you anything while you’re waiting? Coffee? Tea?" She smiled shyly, pushing an unruly curl back from her face. "Anything else?"

He chuckled inwardly at her shameless flirting, wondering how she would react if she knew she was coming on to a gay man. "No, I’m fine, thanks," he told her, returning her smile but being sure not to put any feeling behind it.

The receptionist sighed and pointed to an area with four plastic chairs and a water cooler. "Okay then. Just take a seat over there."

He sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him, vaguely aware of the receptionist still watching him. Glancing around, he picked up a magazine from one of the other chairs and flicked through it, breathing a sigh of relief when she returned her attention to her work.

Eventually the manager’s door opened and a large man with a beard emerged.

"Mr. Twist?"

He got to his feet and shook the offered hand.

"I’m Randall Malone, the manager of this branch. Come on in and tell me what I can do for you this morning."

***

Just before two, Jack found himself back outside the radio studio, once again watching his man broadcasting to his fellow students. But, this time, the smile and wave Ennis gave him held none of the previous hesitancy and he felt confident enough to blow Ennis a kiss, chuckling when Ennis pretended to be horrified.

As soon as the show finished, Ennis grabbed his bag and bolted for the door, his headphones still hooked round his neck, attaching him to the control desk.

"Ennis! Headph..." Kieran started, his words redundant as Ennis was jerked backwards by the tension of the cable. Shaking his head, Kieran moved to the door and unlocked it. "You’d think it was weeks since he last saw you, instead of just a few hours," he remarked with a chuckle as Jack came into the room, shaking his head at Ennis’s clumsiness.

Jack shook Kieran’s hand. "Yeah, well. I guess I’m just irresistible to him. Although I believe I have you to thank for pointing that out to him."

"Ah, it was nothing," Kieran replied. "I’m just glad he took my advice. And I’m really glad you’ve persuaded him to get away from his brother."

Jack raised a surprised eyebrow. "He told you about that?"

"Yeah, I did," Ennis interrupted. "I figured if I was going to move into Kieran’s place for a few weeks, it was only fair to tell him the full story. Just in case, you know."

Kieran grinned. "Yeah, and I told him my Patrick could kick K.E.’s arse since he’s a black belt in both judo and karate. I think that’s what convinced him to move in, to be honest!"

"Well, be sure to tell Patrick I’m grateful to him, then," Jack laughed. He glanced at Ennis. "Are you finished trying to decapitate yourself?"

Ennis rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I think so."

"Come on then," Jack said. "I rented a car until Sunday night and the girl in the tourist office told me I have to visit the southern end of County Dublin, the Wicklow Mountains and County Wexford. Sounds like a lot of driving, so we better get going." He turned to Ennis’s producer. "Thanks again, Kieran. We’ll drop Ennis’s things off on Sunday."

***

Early on Sunday afternoon, Jack pulled the car up outside K.E.’s house and turned to Ennis. "Let’s make this quick, okay? I’ve only got a few hours left with you and I don’t want to waste them fighting with your brother. We’ll just give him the money, get the rest of your things and get going. That way, we can drop your stuff off at Kieran’s flat, hand the car back, and have the rest of the night to ourselves."

"Sure," Ennis said with a nod, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. He led the way through the gate and up the path then pushed the door open and went into the living room.

K.E. sat on the sofa, his face drawn as though he hadn’t slept in days. "You’re here, then," he mumbled.

Jack stepped forward and held up the envelope of money. "Yeah, but we’re not staying. This is the money...make sure you give it all to Malachy, because I won’t be helping you again."

K.E. reached for the envelope but Jack pulled his hand back. "No, not until after Ennis collects his belongings and we’re ready to leave. I know what you think of us, and I’m not giving you any chance to hurt either of us. I figure this gives me an insurance policy."

"Fucking faggot," K.E. spat. "You think you’ve got it all worked out." He got to his feet and pushed past Jack. "You’ll have a cup of coffee, at least?" he said, speaking solely to Ennis.

"No thanks," Ennis replied tersely, catching the look Jack threw in his direction. "Like Jack said, we’re not stopping."

"Shit, Ennis," K.E. breathed, his brow furrowing in a clear attempt to appeal to whatever was left of his younger brother’s sense of family. "I hoped...I hoped you’d stay until the guys came round. I don’t want to face them alone."

Ennis bit his lip, his eyes softening. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jack beat him to it.

"No way," he declared. "I don’t want Ennis anywhere near those men ever again."

"Yeah? And who the fuck made you Ennis’s guardian?" K.E. growled, spinning round to face Jack.

Jack shrugged, refusing to rise to the bait. "No one did. All I’m doing is looking out for him, and trying to keep him safe."

"So you can have your perverted way with him?" K.E. snapped. "Actually, I suppose it should be no surprise that neither of you is man enough to face the bad guys. Scared they might find out your filthy secret and beat the shit out of you, are you? Fucking queers."

"Drop it, K.E.," Ennis cut in angrily. "You’ve had your say, and you’ve made it clear you hate us. I don’t think there’s much point in discussing it further." He squeezed Jack’s shoulder. "I’m going to go and pack up my bits and pieces. I’ll only be five minutes, okay?"

Jack nodded then turned back to K.E., keeping his temper under control. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small business card which he offered to the other man. "Ennis wants you to get help for your addictions. These people sound pretty good, if you’re of a mind to try. I don’t give a damn whether you call them or not but, unless you do and you get your life cleaned up, you can forget about ever seeing Ennis again."

"Is that so?" K.E. asked, grabbing the card and making a show of tossing it to the floor. "And what makes you think you can stop me?"

"I don’t think I can," Jack shrugged. "I know I can. Because it won’t just be me stopping you, Ennis will be right there beside me." He smiled as the man in question reappeared at the foot of the stairs, laden down with boxes. "Ready?" he asked, taking half of Ennis’s load into his own arms.

"Yeah. Let’s go."

As they reached the car, K.E. appeared behind them, anger blazing in his eyes. "So that’s it, Ennis? You’re just going to walk out of here and let this...let him dictate how your life’s going to be? Telling you who you can and can’t see, what you can and can’t do? Fucking pansy."

Ennis looked at his brother with pity. "You don’t know anything about it, K.E. Jack and me...we make decisions together. He hasn’t said one thing that I don’t completely agree with. And that includes not seeing you again unless you sort yourself out." He put the boxes he was carrying into the car. "It’s up to you now," he added as he climbed into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut.

"I’ll find you, you know," K.E. shouted through the window, his face turning crimson with rage. "You and your queer lover. Show you exactly what happens to fucking faggots. You can’t hide forever."

"I wouldn’t bet on it," Jack said softly as he walked round the car, clutching the envelope in one hand and his jacket in the other. He hung his coat on the gate post to leave his hands free then moved up close to K.E. and spoke calmly, his voice just loud enough to get his point across. "Stay away from him, and stay away from me. If you come looking for him and bring anymore pain into his life, I will fucking kill you. You hear me?" He slapped the envelope hard into K.E.’s chest. "Now take the money and get the fuck out of our lives." He moved quickly back to the driver’s side of the car, got in and started the engine.

Looking in his rear mirror as he pulled away he saw K.E. shaking his fists, his face twisted up, clearly still spewing bile to anyone who happened to be listening. He took comfort in the knowledge that Ennis could neither see nor hear K.E.’s hate-filled rant.

***

By the time he finally went back inside, K.E. had worked himself into a frenzy and he rampaged through the house, desperately scouring cupboards and shelves for any alcohol he could find. But his search drew a blank, Malachy’s henchman having taken the last of the whiskey with him when he departed. Cursing loudly, he stormed into the kitchen, his eyes immediately drawn to the envelope sitting on the counter, its contents peeking seductively out of its unsealed flap.

He weighed up his options, his bone-deep need for a drink clouding his vision and pulling his hand ever closer to the source of his temptation. Eventually, all other possible choices faded from view and he reached out, plucking a fifty euro note from the envelope and slipping it into the pocket of his jeans.

Grabbing his keys from the back of the door, he hurried out, his only remaining choice being whether to go to the off licence or the pub.

***

Back at the hotel, Ennis pressed the button on the remote control to switch the TV off and turned questioningly to Jack, need written all over his face.

"What?" Jack asked, getting up from the chair and stretching.

"Want you," Ennis answered with a growl.

Jack grinned. "Well, I’m right he..."

His sentence was cut off by the full force of Ennis ploughing into him, knocking him backwards onto the bed with barely enough time to catch his breath before Ennis was on top of him. The younger man’s hands scrabbled at his clothes, seemingly desperate to get at what lay beneath, Ennis’s hard length pressing against his thigh as they wrestled each other out of t-shirts, jeans and boxer shorts.

When they were finally naked, Ennis shoved Jack’s legs apart and squirted some lube onto his hand, trailing two fingers back behind Jack’s balls and pushing them inside. As he stretched Jack, he dove in with his lips, licking and sucking noisily, already learning to love the sensation of Jack’s dick in his mouth.

"Ah god," Jack hissed as Ennis’s fingers found his prostate and massaged it gently. "So good."

After a moment or two of stretching, Ennis pulled his fingers out and loomed over Jack. "Have you got a condom?" he asked, peppering Jack’s lips with kisses between words.

Jack shook his head. "We don’t need one," he whispered. "I’m clean, Ennis."

"But...but we’ve always used one before."

"Yeah, I know. I was tested after Richard and the results came back clear, but the docs told me it could take up to six months for the virus to show up. I had my second test just a few days before Paul’s wedding. I wanted us to be able to make love without any barrier at the wedding, but I didn’t have the results before I left, and I didn’t want to take any chances with your health. But now we can...if you want to."

Ennis smiled broadly and reached for the lube, slicking his naked dick quickly. When he was ready, he lifted Jack’s legs onto his shoulders and positioned himself. "Of course I want to," he murmured as he slid home.

***

A couple of hours later, K.E. staggered up the path to his front door, clutching a nearly empty half bottle of whiskey in his right hand. He leaned against the door as he tried to retrieve his keys from his pocket, his eyes widening in surprise when the door gave way under his weight, sending him sprawling onto the floor of the hallway.

With a loud belch and a drunken laugh he struggled to his feet. But his chuckles soon subsided when he looked up and realised he wasn’t alone.

"Good to see you in such high spirits, K.E.," Malachy said. "I presume this means you’ve got my money?"

"Sure, ah’ve got it," K.E. slurred. "’S’in the kitchen." He pointed down the hallway, his shaky legs propelling him in vaguely the right direction, with only a couple of bumps into the wall on the way.

Malachy followed him, two of his gang materialising from the shadows and tagging along behind their master.

K.E. grasped the envelope. "Here y’go," he mumbled, holding it out towards the second of the three Malachys his hazy brain was showing him, hoping he had chosen the right one.

A gloved hand reached out from the left, grabbing the money. "Is it all there?"

"Yeah, s’all there. All of it. Every last fucking penny."

Malachy raised an eyebrow. "So where did you get the money for the drink, then?"

"This?" K.E. enquired, raising the bottle to his lips and draining it. "Ah sure, this was a present. A present to me. From me."

Malachy turned to one of his henchmen. "Count it," he ordered.

"Nobody else buys me presents," K.E. went on, oblivious to Malachy’s men emptying the envelope onto the counter. "Probably never will. Not now that Ennis has gone off with that Jack fucking Twist, anyway. Gone off to be queer with him. Fucking faggot. Should have fucking..." He belched. "S’cuse me. Should have fucking knocked it out of them both. Bet you never knew my little brother was a fucking fairy, did you? And his fucking boyfriend threatened to kill me if I..."

"It’s short, boss. By fifty," Malachy’s henchman reported, cutting K.E.’s rant off mid sentence.

Malachy sighed, shaking his head slowly. "That’s a shame," he murmured. He lifted the money from the counter and stuffed it into his coat pocket then tossed his knife to the taller of his men and nodded. "Do it."

***

Later still, the old man picked up the receiver and dialled.

"Hello? Yes, this is Davy Connolly from Lansdowne Road, Ballsbridge."

"No, Lans-downe. Like the stadium."

"Well, there’s been a disturbance next door. I think someone might be hurt."

"No, I haven’t been in. I didn’t like to, in case someone turned on me."

"Well, I heard a lot of yelling, then I saw a young fella leaving the house in a hurry, with blood on his t-shirt. I saw the same fella earlier today, coming out of the house with my neighbour’s little brother. He was shouting threats at K.E....my neighbour...then."

"Yes, I was putting the rubbish out at the time so I heard everything. The one with blood on his shirt said he would kill K.E."

"A name? No, the brother didn’t call the other one by name. Oh wait...during the argument earlier I heard someone shout out Jack fucking Twist."

"Right, so. No, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when your boys come round."

"Thank you, officer. Goodbye."

He replaced the receiver and looked over at his visitor, who gave a curt nod and handed the old man a bottle of whiskey before slipping out of the house and into the night.

***

The next morning, Jack emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped round his waist and grinned when he saw Ennis sitting up in bed watching him. He crossed the room quickly and leaned over his young lover.

"Hey, you," he murmured, ducking his head for a kiss.

Ennis curled his fingers into the hair at the nape of Jack’s neck and held on, clearly reluctant to relinquish the older man’s lips.

"You’ll have to let go, baby," Jack whispered. "I’ve got a flight to catch."

Ennis sighed and relaxed his grip, allowing Jack to start getting dressed. "Yeah, I know. I wish I was coming with you," he said sadly.

Jack paused and looked up. "Well, you still could. I’m sure the plane won’t be full. Why don’t you?"

"Ah, hell, you know I can’t, Jack. It would be stupid to get this far in my course only to fail right at the end. I’m going to miss you, but it’s only three weeks, right?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, three weeks." He knelt to tie his shoelaces then stuffed the last of his things into his bag. "I guess it’s not really that long, and we can talk by email or phone every day. Anyway, you’re going to be all caught up with your final exams...the time will fly by."

"I suppose so," Ennis murmured.

Jack watched as Ennis got out of bed, the younger man’s nakedness sending a shot of arousal through his body, and opened his arms as Ennis approached him.

"I’ll get your flight booked as soon as I get home and I’ll email you the details," he mumbled into Ennis’s hair. "And don’t worry. Everything will be fine now that Malachy has his money and K.E. is out of the way. Just concentrate on passing your course, okay?"

Ennis nodded into his shoulder, his body trembling.

Jack pushed a finger under Ennis’s quivering chin and raised it, pressing a gentle, drawn-out kiss on Ennis’s lips. "I’ve got to go," he said softly, cupping Ennis’s cheek tenderly with his palm and rubbing his thumb across Ennis’s eyebrow. He kissed Ennis one last time then met the younger man’s eyes. "I love you, Ennis," he whispered.

As he turned away quickly and hurried out the door, his last sight was of Ennis standing alone in the centre of the hotel room, a mixture of sad and happy tears running unhindered down his cheeks.

***

Once he arrived at the airport, Jack headed straight for the check-in desk, the warm buzz from finally telling Ennis how he felt still fluttering round his body. He wished with all his heart he had been able to persuade Ennis to come with him, already missing the younger man and knowing for certain the feeling would only get worse over the coming weeks. But at least he knew that at the end of that period Ennis would be coming to live with him, free at last from all those seeking to hurt him, and they could start to build a life together. The thought brought a stupid grin to his face as he stepped forward to the desk and handed his booking confirmation and passport to the check-in assistant.

The young man peered closely at his passport then glanced up at him, concern in his eyes. Reaching for the telephone, he spoke softly. "This will just take a minute, sir."

Jack frowned. "Is there a problem?"

The young man shook his head and held up one finger, reading Jack’s name and passport number into the receiver then covering it with his hand. "No, sir. It’s standard procedure when your passport is due to expire in less than three months."

"Oh, okay," Jack said with a shrug. He didn’t think he’d ever heard of such a rule, but he was sure the young man knew his job so he dropped his bag on the floor and leaned against the desk to wait.

After a few more mumbled words, the young man hung up the phone. He tapped some keys on his computer then coughed to get Jack’s attention. "They’re just doing a couple of checks, sir. It shouldn’t be too long."

Jack nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets and yawning. He glanced around the terminal, studying the screens above the other check-in desks and reading random notices to pass the time. Finally, when his patience had almost run out, he heard a ripple of excitement behind him and turned to see what all the fuss was about.

Standing directly in front of him were two armed policemen, their faces grim. As his jaw dropped open, one of them reached out and took his passport from the check-in assistant, checking the photo against Jack’s face then nodding. His colleague cleared her throat.

"Jack Twist? You’re under arrest for the murder of Mr. K.E. del Mar, of Lansdowne Road, Ballsbridge, County Dublin."

Author's Note: This chapter brings to an end the third "part" of NMW, leaving just part 4 and the epilogue to come. My original plan was to have five chapters in each section, but it's looking likely there will be six more proper chapters. That's the good news (I hope, anyway!). The bad news is that there is now going to be a break of at least two weeks before I start posting those chapters. I hate to do this, because I know how much you all appreciate a regular posting schedule, but real life (and Guitar Hero) has impinged on my writing time recently and I don't want to start posting the last section until I have all of the chapters written...mainly because I don't want to risk leaving something out which becomes important in the finale. I really am sorry about having to do this, but I hope you understand my reasons and I promise I won't stay silent for a moment longer than necessary.

Oh yeah, and I'm sorry about the cliffhanger too....*evil grin*

Lest We Forget

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 07:15:32 GMT

Last September, I visited the Somme in Northern France and drove round many of the WWI battlefields, cemeteries and memorials there. On this, the 11th day of the 11th month, I thought I'd share some of my photos with you in honour of the millions, of all nationalities, who have laid down their lives in conflicts around the world.

Will we ever learn?

Caterpillar Valley CWGC Cemetery at Longueval - the second largest on the Somme with over 5,500 graves, over two thirds of them to unknown soldiers.

Pozieres British Cemetery

Authuile Military Cemetery

The Thiepval Memorial to the Missing of the Somme. The cemetery is half Commonwealth and half French - the crosses are the French graves. The memorial itself contains the names of over 73,000 soldiers who died on the Somme but whose bodies were never identified - they are listed by regiment on the white panels, which go all the way round the "legs" of the memorial

A close up of Thiepval. The inscription reads "To the French and British Armies. The British Empire recognises you"

Another Thiepval close up. The inscription this time reads "On this monument are engraved the names of 73,367 officers and soldiers of the British Army who fell in the heart of the Battles of the Somme, July 1916 and February 1918, but for whom the fortunes of war denied a known tomb and the honour bestowed on their comrades in death"

The caribou watching over her fallen sons at the Newfoundland Memorial Park, Beaumont Hamel

The Welsh Memorial at Mametz Wood

The Australian National Memorial

The view from the top of the Australian Memorial. This cemetery has the highest concentration of young men I saw anywhere on the Somme. Almost every second headstone belongs to a boy of 18 or 19.

The Memorial to the Cameron Highlanders at High Wood

The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders Memorial at Beaumont Hamel

The 16 Royal Scots (McRae's) Battalion Memorial at Contalmaison. The Battalion was raised here in Edinburgh and contained amongst its ranks numerous players, officials and supporters from one of Edinburgh's two football clubs, Heart of Midlothian.

Well the sun's shining now on these green fields of France
The warm wind blows gently and the red poppies dance
The trenches have vanished, long under the plough
No grass and no barbed wire, no guns firing now
But here in this graveyard it's still No Man's Land
The countless white crosses in mute witness stand
To man's blind indifference to his fellow man
And a whole generation who were butchered and damned

From "No Man's Land" by Eric Bogle

No Matter What - Chapter 13

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 18:28:40 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 13
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. Your awesomeness knows no bounds!

After ordering his food in the pizza place just round the corner from Ennis’s college, Jack settled back into the booth and looked expectantly at Ennis. "So, I thought you’d warned K.E. to stop hitting you? What happened to your vow to go to the police next time?"

"It wasn’t K.E.," Ennis mumbled under his breath, shutting his eyes to avoid Jack’s stare.

Jack reached across and turned Ennis’s face to the side to get a better view of the younger man’s black eye. "What? Who the fuck did this, then?" he demanded. "And don’t tell me you walked into a door."

Ennis pulled away, his eyes opening and his gaze dropping to the table. Sighing deeply, he started to speak, his voice barely above a whisper. "You know I told you about the deal I worked out with the gang K.E. owed money to? Well, they weren’t quite as understanding as I might have led you to believe. I mean...yeah...they agreed to let me pay them back in instalments, but they also warned me that the first time I missed a payment, they would come after me...and my brother."

"Shit," Jack murmured. "But I thought you were doing okay with the payments?"

Ennis nodded. "I was. And I thought everything was okay, but..."

Jack stopped him, remembering something Ennis had told him in an email. "But then you let K.E. take the money to them. Only he didn’t hand it over, did he?"

"No," Ennis said, shaking his head. "I really thought he was trying to help. I really thought he’d changed, and I know he took the money to them the first couple of months. But two months ago the money was obviously burning too big a hole in his pocket and he went to the bookies and blew the lot. He did the same last month. I had no idea until Malachy’s men...the gang...bundled me into their car the other morning."

"Fuck, Ennis. So what..." Jack breathed, his question interrupted by the waitress arriving with their food. He sat back and waited until she was out of earshot before going on, leaning forward so he could keep his voice low. "So what did they do?"

Ennis picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite, composing himself before speaking. "They drove me to the outskirts of the city, down some quiet lane, then hauled me out of the car. Malachy had a knife and he said he was going to kill me. I don’t really know why he didn’t, to be honest. I just kept talking, begging him not to hurt me, telling him I had no idea K.E. hadn’t paid him. Eventually he relented, but not before he told me I have two weeks to pay back every penny of the debt."

"But if he relented, how come you have a black eye?" Jack asked quietly.

"As he got back into the car, Malachy told me he’d let me off with a warning this time...and then he told his henchmen to give me that warning," Ennis answered. "The first one punched me in the face to knock me down then the rest of them laid into me with their boots, kicking my ribs and stamping on my balls. By the time they finally drove off, I wished they had killed me."

Jack choked on his slice of pizza, his heart thumping as he listened to Ennis’s tale. "Jesus," he coughed out. "And that’s when you called me?"

"Yeah. Well...eventually," Ennis said. "Malachy crushed my phone before he turned his men on me so I had to keep going till I could find a payphone. It was pretty hard to walk, with the pain in my ribs and balls, so it took me a while. But yeah, as soon as I reached a phone, I called you." His voice dropped even lower and a blush rose to his cheeks as he continued. "Yours was the only voice I wanted to hear, Jack. You’re the only one who gives a damn about me and...and I’m sorry I pushed you away earlier."

Jack gazed at Ennis for a second before reaching under the table and taking the younger man’s hand. "It’s alright," he whispered, squeezing lightly. "But will you let me help you now? I don’t want you to go back and stay with your brother. I know he didn’t actually hurt you this time, but they’re his debts, not yours. I can stay here in Dublin until Monday morning and I want you to come and stay with me at my hotel until then."

"Jack, I...I can’t afford to stay in a hotel. I still need to pay off the rest of the debt."

Jack pressed a finger to Ennis’s lips. "Shhh. The room is a double, it’s paid for, and we’ll work something out about the debts. I’ve got money and, if there’s no other way, I’ll lend it to you so you can get away from these guys for good. Ennis, listen to me. I want you in my life and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen, whether that’s standing up to your brother or paying off his debts so you can be free to leave. All you have to do is tell me you want it, too."

Ennis closed his eyes, raising his thumb to his mouth and chewing nervously on the nail. Watching him closely, Jack held his breath, waiting it out until Ennis found an answer. Eventually, Ennis’s eyelids flickered open and he turned to Jack, the determination on his face overriding the uncertainty in his eyes.

"I do want it," he whispered. "I want to be with you, Jack. But I’m still scared of what K.E. will do when he finds out. What if..."

"No what ifs, Ennis," Jack cut in with a shake of his head. "I’m going to make sure K.E. will never hurt you again."

***

Half an hour later, Ennis led Jack down the street towards his house, his heart racing at the prospect of introducing Jack to his brother. He knew K.E. wouldn’t be at work since he only worked mornings, but he couldn’t help hoping that the bookie or the pub had proved to be too great a draw, giving him the chance to pick up some clean clothes without having to face any kind of showdown. But, as they reached the front gate, his heart sank, the open window and noise from within revealing that K.E. had managed to steer clear of temptation for once. He stopped in his tracks, sending Jack careening into his back.

"Jesus, Ennis," Jack gasped. "You might have given me some warning!"

Ennis looked over his shoulder at the older man, his expression serious. "Sorry," he whispered. "It’s just...K.E. is home. I thought maybe he wouldn’t be."

Jack reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "Don’t worry. It’ll be okay. We don’t have to tell him the truth. Just tell him I’m a friend of Sinead’s and you’re going to show me round Dublin. Surely he can’t object to that?"

"You don’t know him," Ennis said with a humourless laugh. "He’ll probably..."

Jack frowned as Ennis’s voice tailed off. He opened his mouth to ask what Ennis had been going to say but stopped abruptly when Ennis pressed the palm of his hand over his lips. "Mmmpthpth," he spluttered into Ennis’s flesh.

Ennis grabbed his arm and tugged him through the gate and up the path. Pressing his ear against the door, he caught Jack’s eye. "Quiet," he mouthed as he pulled Jack close to him.

From the other side of the rotting wood, they heard a raised voice.

"I don’t have the fucking money! Ow...fuck...don’t do...oh fuck. No..."

Jack raised an eyebrow at Ennis. "K.E.?" he whispered.

Ennis nodded distractedly as his brother’s voice fell silent to be replaced by another, the accent much stronger.

"Oi tink ye’re fookin us about, del Mar. Ye were seen at da bookies earlier. Ye had money den."

"I did, but...but I was trying to get more so I could pay your boss back. I...I swear. No...fucking hell...don’t...oh shit, no...please...please don’t..."

Ennis pushed his ear harder against the door, straining to hear the other man’s voice.

"...yer brudder...Malachy taught...lesson...broke ribs...stamped...balls. Two weeks...did...not tell ye?"

K.E.’s voice came back loud and fearful. "No! I haven’t seen Ennis for a couple of days. He didn’t tell me, I swear. Two weeks you say? Well, that’s okay...we can get the money together in that time. You can tell Malachy he’ll get his money back."

"But...before...saw ye...bookies. Now...wants da money...Sunday night. All of it. Or...kill...and your fookin brudder."

"No!" K.E. yelped. "Sunday night? Okay, he’ll get it, I promise you. Just don’t...don’t hurt me anymore. Please..."

Outside, Jack laid his hand on Ennis’s back as he felt the younger man trembling. "Do you want to go in?" he asked.

Ennis glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. He opened his mouth to answer but suddenly jumped back from the door, just as it was hauled open and a burly man appeared, a flick knife in his right hand and a brand new bottle of malt whisky in his left. "Oi’ll see ye on Sunday, den," he said jauntily as he came out the door. "In da meantime, Oi’m sure Malachy will enjoy yer little gift." He hurried down the steps, pausing briefly to glare at Ennis, recognition clear in his eyes, before chuckling loudly and heading off down the street, a spring in his step.

***

As soon as the man disappeared, Ennis rushed into the house, calling his brother’s name as he went. When he heard K.E.’s responding groan, he made a beeline for the kitchen, skidding to a halt when he reached the door. His brother was leaning against the stove, a broad streak of red across his light grey t-shirt, blood oozing from between the fingers of his left hand as he held it against his cheek.

"Oh fuck, K.E. What did he do to you?"

K.E. looked disoriented as he glanced up, his eyes struggling to focus on his younger brother. Ennis took a step forward and gently prized K.E.’s hand away from his face, revealing a deep wound stretching from below K.E.’s eye to just above his mouth, the flesh gaping.

Ennis sucked in a breath, his eyes closing instinctively. But he’d seen enough of his own blood not be repulsed by it and he quickly recovered, focusing instead on helping his brother.

"Okay," he said quietly to K.E. "Come on over to the sink and let’s get that wound cleaned up. That’s it...you’re going to be fine." He turned to Jack who had stopped in the doorway, a shocked expression on his face, and addressed him in a low voice. "There are towels in that cupboard over there. Can you get me some, please?"

Turning back to the sink, he helped K.E. rinse the blood off his hands before gently dabbing a cloth to his brother’s neck and chin to clean them. Turning his attention to the wound, he pressed the cloth carefully round the edges to force the skin back into place and then held it there while he soaked one of the towels Jack had laid at his side. Finally, he pushed the wet towel firmly against K.E.’s cheek. "Keep that pressed over the wound," he told his brother, moving K.E.’s hand onto the towel before washing his own hands thoroughly.

Glancing over at Jack, who had retreated into the shadows once more, he helped his brother to a chair.

"Thanks," K.E. mumbled gruffly as he sat down. Holding tightly to the compress, he looked up at Ennis. "He said they beat you up, too. Are you okay?"

Ennis shrugged. "I’ll live."

"Shit," K.E. muttered as he took in Ennis’s black eye and awkward stance. "I’m sorry, Ennis. I didn’t think they’d come after you."

"They wouldn’t have if you’d taken the money to them like you said you would," Ennis answered curtly.

K.E. hung his head, wincing at the pull on his wound. "I know. I just...I had a hot tip and the money was in my pocket. I couldn’t help myself."

Without looking, Ennis sensed the roll of Jack’s eyes. "I guess not," he murmured. He took a deep breath and, encouraged by Jack’s presence, forged ahead. "Maybe you need to get some proper help for your drinking and gambling."

"Maybe I do," K.E. sighed. "Not that there’s much point looking for help now. Malachy’s men are going to kill us both when I can’t pay them back." He brought his head up slowly and met his brother’s eyes. "I’m scared, Ennis. I didn’t realise how much shit we were in. What are we going to do?"

Ennis looked over at Jack, desperately seeking an answer to K.E.’s question in Jack’s eyes. What he saw gave him hope.

"We’ll work something out," he told K.E. quietly. "Me and Jack are going into town for a while so I can show him round but then..."

K.E. drew back. "Jack?" he said cautiously. "Who the fuck is Jack?"

Ennis beckoned Jack over. "This is Jack," he replied, placing a hand on Jack’s shoulder. "He’s a friend of Paul’s...you know, Sinead’s husband? I met him on the stag weekend and, since he was going to be in Dublin for a few days, he asked me to show him the city."

"But you’ll be back tonight, yeah?" K.E. asked.

"Well...maybe not," Ennis murmured. "If we get drinking and talking, I might just crash in Jack’s hotel room, save the taxi fare."

K.E.’s eyes narrowed, his voice taking on a cynical tone. "Oh yeah? And is that where you’ve been for the last couple of nights too, eh? Crashing there to save the taxi fare?" He turned his head and appraised Jack, suspicion showing in his eyes. "Or maybe you and your pretty boyfriend here have got other reasons to want to stay out of my way, eh?" He staggered to his feet and moved towards Ennis. "Is that it, little brother? Are you and him fucking? Sucking each other’s dicks? How could you? I thought I warned you about what happens to fucking queers..."

"It’s not what you...," Ennis started, his face turning crimson.

"No?" K.E. interrupted, his voice rising. "The look on your face says different. I guess you didn’t go to that wedding just to see Sinead, eh? You and him..."

"What Ennis and I are to each other is none of your damn business," Jack said quietly, stepping between Ennis and his brother. "Ennis is eighteen and he can do whatever he wants."

K.E. glared at Jack. "And this is none of your business, you disgusting faggot! This is between me and him. I should call the police, see what they have to say about you taking advantage of an innocent boy with your filthy, perverted ways."

"Go ahead and call them," Jack said calmly. "But before you do, think carefully about the story you’re going to tell them. Because it seems to me that you took Ennis’s innocence a long time ago, when you started hitting him for no reason. And if anyone has been taking advantage of him, it’s you, letting him work himself into the ground trying to pay off your debts, then stealing from him twice and leaving him to get beaten up while you fed your addictions at the bar and the bookies. Yeah, I think that’s a story the police would be very interested in."

K.E.’s face turned to thunder. "What the fuck do you know about our life?"

"I know most of it. I know you lost your folks when Ennis was just a little kid but, instead of giving him the support and guidance he needed, you gave him nothing but pain and abuse, to the point where he no longer believes he deserves anything more. And yet, despite all that, he still wants to help you escape your problems, still wants to be a real brother to you. You should be grateful to him, you son of a bitch."

"Grateful to a fucking queer? I don’t think so," K.E. spat out, looking at Ennis with revulsion. "Maybe I should have hit you harder, little brother. What I did obviously wasn’t enough to make a real man out of you."

Jack snorted. "A real man who hides from his problems by getting wasted every night, you mean? Yeah, that’s real manly. But you know something? Your brother is a million times the man you’ll ever be, no matter what you think." Shaking his head, he turned and spoke softly to Ennis. "Go and get some clean clothes and anything else you want to take with you. I think we’ve heard about enough of this bullshit."

Ennis hesitated, chewing on a thumbnail and clearly trying to hold back the tears that were brimming in his eyes.

"Go on, Ennis," Jack whispered, inclining his head towards the stairs then giving a small sigh of relief as Ennis nodded and headed out of the kitchen.

K.E. let out a sadistic chuckle. "You’ve got him well trained. Does he get something special at night for doing what he’s told?"

"Now you listen to me, you bastard," Jack yelled, stepping right up to K.E. and shoving a finger in his face, only just missing the compress K.E. still held to his cheek. "I’ve seen the physical scars your cruelty left behind, and I’ve seen the effects of the mental ones too. Your abuse came close to destroying Ennis and I will not sit back and let it happen anymore. I care about him too much for that. If it were up to me, you’d be in prison by now, but for some reason he doesn’t want to do that to you. But I’ll have no such qualms if you ever hurt him again, believe me. And, from what I’ve heard, other prisoners don’t normally take too kindly to child abusers."

"Don’t you threaten me, you fucking pansy! I should kill you both!" K.E. screamed.

"Yeah? And who would bail you out with Malachy’s gang then, eh?" Jack said bitterly, turning away from K.E.’s furious glare when Ennis’s footsteps sounded on the stairs. He took a deep, steadying breath, pushing back the urge to strike out at K.E. and composing himself as Ennis reappeared in the doorway. But just as he was about to ask Ennis if he was ready to go, he saw the younger man’s jaw drop open and heard a strangled shout.

"Jack! Look out!"

He spun round, his arms instinctively rising to protect his head, his right arm catching the full brunt of the blow from the cast iron skillet K.E. swung at him. It knocked him off balance, sending him crashing into the chair K.E. had previously been sitting on and, from there, onto the floor. Blinking with pain, he rolled out of the way as Ennis rushed at K.E., shoving him backwards before he could strike Jack again. He watched from the floor as Ennis grabbed his brother’s wrist and prised the skillet from his fingers, then pinned K.E.’s arms to his sides before looking round to see if Jack was okay.

He got to his feet slowly, clutching his arm which had started to bleed where the sharp edge of the pan had caught him. Once he was upright, he moved towards K.E. and nudged Ennis gently out of the way. Swallowing hard to force back the bile in his throat, he looked K.E. in the eye. "If you ever try that again, I’ll save Malachy the bother of finishing you off. Now you listen to me. Ennis and I are leaving now, but we’ll be back on Sunday with enough money for you to pay off your debt." He took in K.E.’s surprised expression then went on. "Don’t get me wrong. If it was just you involved in this, I’d tell them where to find you. Hell, I might even help them. But Ennis has to carry on living in this city until he finishes college and I would never forgive myself if anything was to happen to him. I don’t know for sure if Ennis wants me to be part of his life, but I sure as hell know he doesn’t need the troubles that surround you. So I’ll give you the money, on the condition that you stay the fuck out of Ennis’s life until you sort things out with Malachy and get help for your addictions. Understand?"

Without waiting for a response, he eased the skillet out of Ennis’s hand and laid it on the stove then tugged Ennis’s sleeve and led the younger man quickly out of the house, K.E.’s angry tirade behind them falling on deaf ears.

No Matter What - Chapter 12

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 07:12:52 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 12
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. Thanks once again for pointing out the weaknesses and making the story stronger.

The next night, well after midnight, Jack pulled up outside Paul and Sinead’s house and hurried to their door, hammering loudly on it until a light finally came on in the hallway. When the door opened, he pushed past Paul without waiting for an invitation.

"I need your help," he said breathlessly.

Paul rubbed his eyes. "Jack, what the fuck? It’s almost one in the morning. Can’t this wait?"

"No. Ennis is in trouble and I need to go to Ireland to help him but I don’t know where he lives so I won’t be able to find him and you have to tell me his..."

Paul laid a warm hand on his shoulder. "Hey, slow down," he said softly. He guided Jack into the living room and pushed him gently down into a chair. "Now, tell me what happened."

Jack squeezed his eyes shut. "I don’t know, exactly," he sighed. "I got a call from Ennis yesterday. I was away on that course and I couldn’t take the call, but he left a message on my voicemail. He sounded terrified and he was obviously in a lot of pain...I could tell from his voice. He asked me to help him, Paul. He’s never done that before, no matter what his brother did to him. It must be really bad this time."

"What has his brother done to him?" a female voice cut in.

Jack and Paul both turned to look at Sinead, who had obviously been standing in the doorway for a few minutes. "What has K.E. done?" she asked again.

"I think he must have beaten Ennis again," Jack told her quietly. "He’s been doing it for years...hitting him with a belt, burning him with cigarettes, cutting him with a knife. Ennis has scars and bruises all over his body from the abuse he’s suffered."

"Oh fuck," Paul murmured, his eyes widening in horror.

Sinead came over and sat on the arm of the sofa. "Jesus. You’ve seen the scars?" she asked in a whisper.

"Uh...yeah," Jack answered, glancing at Paul, realising his friend really had kept his secret. "We...uh...we shared a room in Barcelona, on Paul’s stag weekend."

She nodded. "Yeah, I remember. Well, I could call him if you want. Maybe he’ll tell me more about what happened. I’m sure I’ve got his mobile number somewhere."

"I’ve already tried that," Jack said. "His mobile is either switched off or he can’t get a signal on it. I think he called me from a payphone, because I heard the clink of coins just before he spoke."

"Ah. Well, I don’t think they’ve got a phone in the house, so we can’t try that," Sinead replied. "Maybe I could get in touch with K.E. somehow, ask him if he knows where Ennis is?" She looked up, anxiety creeping across her face. "But maybe that’s not such a good idea. It might make K.E. suspect Ennis has told someone and then he might get angry and hurt Ennis again."

"Yeah," Jack sighed, his breath hitching.

Sinead frowned. "Well, hang on. I’ve still got some friends in Dublin. Maybe I could get one of them to go round and see if Ennis is okay?"

"No! No, that would be just as bad as calling K.E. I mean, I appreciate you trying to help but it would look really odd, one of your friends turning up out of the blue and asking if Ennis is alright. No, I can’t take the chance of K.E. hurting him anymore," Jack declared. "I’m going to go to Dublin myself, find Ennis and take him away from his good for nothing brother once and for all."

Sinead stared at him. "Jack, I..." she started but then paused, her eyes filling with confusion. "Wait a minute. What’s going on here? Why are you so concerned? You barely know Ennis. Why would you want to rush over to Dublin to save him? I don’t understand."

Jack turned to Paul, hoping his friend would help out. Paul shrugged then glanced up at his wife. "Sweetie, Jack and Ennis became...um...really good friends on the stag weekend. They shared a room, as Jack said, and they...they got pretty intimate, if you know what I mean."

"Shit, Paul. I’m not even sure I know what you mean by that," Jack said with a humourless chuckle. Sighing, he turned back to Sinead. "What Paul is trying to tell you is that Ennis and I started a relationship in Barcelona, a...a sexual relationship. I’m gay, Sinead, and I was attracted to Ennis right from the start. I wouldn’t have done anything about it, with him being so young and all, but certain things he said and did suggested to me that he felt the same way. Anyway, one thing led to another and we found ourselves getting intimate, as Paul so eloquently put it. Then, at the wedding, we picked up where we left off."

Sinead looked stunned. "Holy Mary, mother of God," she muttered. "I had no idea that Ennis was like that. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I’m sure," Jack confirmed. "I didn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want to do, I swear. He was a willing participant at all times."

She brought her hand up to her mouth, clearly remembering something. "Oh Jesus, and K.E. is a complete homophobe!" she exclaimed. "My da told me all about what he and his friends did to some gay fella in Dublin. You think he found out about Ennis?"

"I don’t know," Jack mumbled, his face pale with worry. "All I know is that Ennis is in trouble and I need to go to Dublin to help him. Look, I’ve already booked my flight...I did it as soon as I got the message. It leaves at eight...but I need to know where to go when I get there. His address, what college he’s at, where he works...anything that might help me find him."

Sinead stood and went over to a desk in the corner of the room. "I’ll see what I can find. I think he left some details when he stayed with my parents and I’ve got all that stuff here now." She rifled through some papers then held a sheet up. "Here you go... the name and address of his college. I’ll write his home address on there, too, along with details of how to get there." She scribbled quickly then came over and handed the paper to Jack.

"Thank you," he said, getting to his feet and giving her a brief hug.

She looked at him with concern. "You really care about him, don’t you? It’s not just sex?"

"Yeah, I do," Jack whispered, tears suddenly filling his eyes. "It was never just sex, not for me."

Sinead gave him a small smile. "Let us know if we can do anything else to help. I’ve got plenty of friends in Dublin if you need a helpful policeman, or anything like that. Just call, okay?"

Jack nodded as he opened the door. "I will. And thanks again."

***

On arrival in Dublin, Jack immediately took a taxi to the address Sinead had given him, hoping to find Ennis at home, preferably alone. He tried the doorbell but noticed that it didn’t seem to ring, so he settled instead for banging on the door with his fist. When he got no immediate response, he tried again, knocking louder this time then dropping to his knees to peer through the letter box, trying to spot any sign of movement inside. Behind him, an elderly male voice spoke.

"They’re not in. Yer one’s at work, and I think the young ‘un is at that fancy college of his. You repo men are dressing awful casual these days."

Jack frowned as he turned to look at the man. "Eh? I’m not a repo man...what makes you say that?"

The old man leaned on the gate post. "Ah sure, the repo men are always hanging round here. Mind you, I doubt they’ve got anything left to take back." He eyed Jack suspiciously. "So who are you, then? You don’t look like the sort the older one hangs round with, but you’re a fair bit older than the young one."

"Maybe I am older," Jack said, coming down the path to stand next to the old man, "but I am a friend of Ennis’s." He paused and regarded the man, then changed his story slightly, not wanting to give too much away to a stranger. "Actually, I’ve only met him a couple of times. I’m a friend of their cousin, Sinead. When she heard I was going to be in Dublin for a couple of days, she asked me to drop round with a few things Ennis left at her house last time he was over."

The old man nodded. "Oh, right, so. Well, like I said, he’s probably at college, and he doesn’t normally get home till the middle of the afternoon. You could sit on the step and wait, but it’s a long time off and the college isn’t far. You should go up there and see him."

"I might just do that," Jack said with a smile. "Can you give me directions?"

***

By the time Jack made sense of the old man’s instructions and arrived at the college it was already lunchtime and he felt sure finding Ennis would be a near impossibility. But he made his way through the crowds anyway, stopping occasionally to ask someone for directions to the Media Studies building, hoping that Ennis’s usual approach of keeping to himself extended to eating lunch alone, far from the student throng. He hit the jackpot with the final person he asked, a lecturer in Ennis’s department who not only showed him exactly where the building was, but also informed Jack that Ennis was working over his lunch break in a room on the second floor which hosted the college’s radio station. Any surprise he may have felt at discovering Ennis had listened to his career suggestion was far outweighed in Jack’s mind by the enormous sense of relief that came from knowing Ennis had made it to college and therefore couldn’t be too seriously injured. Exhaling slowly, he thanked the lecturer and jogged off, excitement and apprehension swirling in his gut the closer he got to Ennis. After taking the stairs two at a time, he soon found himself standing outside the studio, watching the host of the lunchtime show through a small glass panel in the door.

He stood there for what seemed like an age before Ennis finally looked up and spotted him, registering the mix of shock and happiness on the younger man’s face just milliseconds before he spotted the huge, dark bruise stretching from Ennis’s right eye across his cheek. He sucked in a breath and stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets to stop himself from charging into the room, watching as Ennis glanced up at the clock then held some fingers up, indicating that his slot only had four minutes left to run. He nodded then leaned his head against the door, trying to hear what Ennis was saying over the airwaves while attempting not to think about how much he wanted to get his hands on Ennis’s bastard brother right at that moment.

Moments later, when Ennis’s show finished, the younger man got up with a grimace of pain and quickly opened the door to let Jack in, wrapping his arms round him before he even had a chance to draw breath.

"What are you doing here, eh?" Ennis asked softly as he pulled back and looked into Jack’s eyes, their mouths dangerously close.

Jack glanced round the room, establishing that Ennis’s producer was out of earshot before speaking. "Hell, Ennis. You called me, remember? You sounded so scared...what did you think I was going to do?"

"Oh, Jesus," Ennis muttered. "I didn’t mean for you to come all the way over here. I just...I just wanted to hear your voice, to know someone cared."

Jack stared at him. "But...you said you needed me...so here I am. I had to ask lots of people where I could find you...one of your lecturers finally told me you’d be here."

"Shit," Ennis said in a low voice, his eyes darting nervously around the room as his producer moved closer to put some cables away. Taking a breath, he took Jack’s arm and turned to the other man. "Jack, this is Kieran, my producer. Kieran, this here’s Jack...he’s a...a friend of my cousin Sinead’s new husband."

Kieran looked up and smiled. "Pleased to meet you," he said with a nod, his eyes switching from Ennis to Jack and back again, curiosity on his face.

"Likewise," Jack replied as Ennis tugged his arm suddenly and led him hurriedly back over to the door. Directing his words at Ennis once more, he spoke softly. "So, now that I’m here, I thought we could get something to eat or...or go back to my hotel and..."

Ennis cut him off sharply. "Jack, I...I’ve got classes this afternoon and I can’t...I mean, I already missed the last couple of days and..." He looked back into the room, obviously checking to see if Kieran was listening to their whispered conversation. "Jack, I’m really sorry, you know I am."

Jack sighed loudly, Ennis’s clear edginess and embarrassment both angering and upsetting him. "Yeah, I know." He shrugged Ennis’s hand off his arm and moved out into the corridor. "Well, I guess I’ll see you in a couple of months, then."

Determined not to let Ennis see how hurt he was, he walked quickly off down the corridor, feeling Ennis’s gaze on him but refusing to look back.

***

As he watched Jack walk down the corridor, Ennis heard a cough behind him.

"You should go after him," his producer said quietly.

Ennis turned to face him. "What?"

"You shouldn’t let him walk away. I mean, it sounds like he came a long way to see you, and you just turned him away, with hardly a word. That’s pretty harsh, Ennis."

"You don’t know anything about it," Ennis snapped.

The producer nodded. "You’re right, I don’t. But I do know that in the months we’ve worked together, I’ve never seen you happier than when you looked up and saw him standing there. I’m no expert, but the bruise on your face and the permanent sadness in your eyes suggests to me that your life is pretty shitty outside these walls. If he makes a difference to that, then I reckon you’re crazy to let him go."

Ennis looked away, his shoulders sagging. "I have to. Folks round here...they wouldn’t understand. I mean...we’re...he’s..."

"Ennis, what he is to you is none of my business," the producer interrupted. "I don’t care if he’s a friend of your cousin, a potential employer or someone you like to fuck through the mattress every night." Cutting off Ennis’s shocked protest, he went on. "If you opened your eyes you’d see that you’re not the only one round here with a...Jack. But you’re most definitely the only one who’s denying himself the chance of happiness."

"There are other guys with a...Jack?" Ennis asked incredulously.

His producer chuckled. "Sure. There’s Niall and Aiden from your class, for starters. They’ve been together since their first week of college. And Mr. Coughlan who does the editorial lectures...I met his partner Joe at the last open day." He paused for a moment then spoke quietly. "And there’s me, too...although my Jack is called Patrick."

"Shit," Ennis mumbled. "I had no idea. You’ve never said anything."

"You don’t need to broadcast it for it to be true, Ennis," the producer said with a smile. "Look, I’m not going to lecture you. All I’m saying is that you deserve to be happy, and from the way your eyes lit up when he walked in, I think maybe he’s the one who can do that for you. Stop thinking about what folks will say, and start thinking about yourself for a change. You’re worth far more than being someone’s punch bag, you know, whatever they’ve told you."

Ennis glanced around the room, realising he hadn’t even started to clear up after his show. Indicating the clutter, he opened his mouth to speak but was immediately cut off.

"Don’t worry about this mess. I’ll clear it up. Just...just go and get him," the producer told him, meeting Ennis’s eyes and holding his gaze, nodding his encouragement.

Eventually, Ennis gave a cautious smile. "Okay," he said, grabbing his rucksack from the floor. "And Kieran?" he added as he ran out the door, "Thanks."

***

Once he left Ennis’s building, Jack pushed past the groups of students returning for their afternoon classes and headed for a quieter area nearby, the pain of Ennis’s rejection coursing through his veins. He found a bench to sit on and leaned back, bringing a hand up to angrily brush away the tears that had started as soon as he was out of Ennis’s sight. Screwing his eyes tightly shut, he tried to clear his head but succeeded only in calling back to mind the image of the bruise on Ennis’s cheek, his anger burning once again over the physical abuse Ennis had suffered. Despite the hurt he was feeling over Ennis pushing him away, he knew deep down that he would happily give up any chance of a future with Ennis if only the younger man could break free from the clutches of his brother. Of course, having Ennis live with him was his preferred option, but if Ennis truly couldn’t escape the beliefs and prejudices that had been hammered into him, then the very least he wanted was for Ennis to be safe. The trouble was, he couldn’t work out how best to achieve that. Facing K.E. and threatening him with the police if he didn’t let Ennis go was one alternative, but he couldn’t help recalling Ennis’s warning about what K.E. would do if he ever found out about Ennis’s sexuality. Would K.E. be suspicious if a strange man turned up on the doorstep and started shouting about the scars Ennis bore on his body? Would he somehow know from Jack’s eyes that he was far more than just a friend to Ennis? And would K.E. carry out his promise and kill both of them before they had a chance to get away?

He was still mulling over his options several minutes later when he heard a nervous shuffle of feet to his left. He opened his eyes slowly and glanced over to where Ennis stood, thumbs hooked into his jeans pockets, eyes cast downwards, one foot scuffing the ground uneasily.

He sighed wearily. "What do you want, Ennis?" he asked, refusing to meet the younger man’s eyes.

"I uh...I wanted to apologise," Ennis whispered. "I shouldn’t have been so short with you up there. You came all this way to help me and all I could do was panic in case someone saw us and put two and two together." He shrugged his shoulders unhappily. "I’m sorry, Jack."

Jack shook his head. "Ennis, you can’t keep pushing me away like this. I want to be with you, to help you and take care of you, but I can’t do it alone. I need to know you want me here, at least as your friend, if not as your lover."

"I do, Jack," Ennis answered, dropping his rucksack on the ground and taking a seat on the end of the bench. "I do want you here. It’s just...I forgot what it was like to have someone care about me. Ever since my folks died...well, you know the story. For years, all I heard from K.E. was how worthless I was, how no one gave a damn about me. I guess, after a while, I just started believing him...believing that I didn’t deserve anything better." He took a breath and turned to look at Jack. "But then I met you. Looking into your eyes, seeing your smile, feeling your hands on me...all those things made me happier than I ever thought I could be. You made me dare to dream again. But then I started hearing K.E.’s voice in my ear, or seeing his face behind my eyelids, and he kept reminding me that I was nothing and...and telling me what happens to filthy faggots."

Jack’s eyes turned cold. "Ennis..."

"They’re his words, Jack...not mine," Ennis replied quickly. "But that’s what I heard when I woke up in your arms in Barcelona, and it’s what I heard again when you told me you’d seen the scars. And, just like every time he raised his hands or his belt to hit me, instinct told me to curl up into a little ball and shut everything...and everyone...else out."

"And the same thing happened just now, in the studio?" Jack asked, his expression softening.

"Yeah. I knew it was Kieran standing there, but when I looked back at him, he had K.E.’s face. Thing is, after you left, he proved he was nothing like K.E., telling me to go after you and take my chance at happiness. But I couldn’t see past my brother’s threats when you were there."

Jack slid closer on the bench. "Shit, Ennis. I could kill your brother for everything he’s put you through," he said angrily. "Not just the physical abuse but the mental cruelty too. You can’t go back to him, Ennis...I won’t let you."

"But..."

Jack covered Ennis’s hand with his. "No buts, Ennis. This time there’s going to be no need for you to curl into that ball. This time, I’m going to be right there beside you, fending off the blows and fighting back. Because you do deserve to be happy and you are worthy of love...and I aim to prove that to you." He stood up and pulled Ennis to his feet. "But first, let’s go and get some food and you can tell me his reason for giving you that black eye."

No Matter What - Chapter 11

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 07:51:59 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 11
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. Thank you for sharing your experience with me - this chapter is a million times better for it.

Author's Note: I would like to apologise in advance for the "link that doesn't work" in this chapter. Believe me, I wish I could see it too ;o)

A few days after returning to Dublin, Ennis took a detour on his way home from college to visit the bar where Malachy and his gang normally hung out. Slipping unnoticed through the side door, he waited in the shadows for a few moments, trying to gauge the mood before announcing his presence. The men seemed to be in high spirits, so he took his chance, stepping out directly in front of their table and finding himself immediately surrounded by half a dozen tough looking guys, their assorted piercings and chains rattling as they came to attention.

Malachy’s head shot up. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he growled.

"I...uh...I wanted to sort out a...a repayment schedule with you," Ennis answered nervously. "You know, for the money K.E. owes you."

"A repayment schedule?" Malachy chuckled. "What the fuck do you think I am? A fucking building society?" Around him, his henchmen laughed raucously at their leader’s joke, but fell silent when Malachy’s scowl returned. "I don’t do schedules," he went on. "Just give me the fucking money." As he spoke, he pulled a knife from his pocket and ran his finger lightly along its blade then held it up to the light so Ennis could see it clearly.

"I don’t have it," Ennis said quietly.

Malachy got to his feet, the knife raised. "Then you know what happens next. I’d prefer to take it out on your brother, but you’re here so you’ll do instead." He took a step closer to Ennis as the rest of his gang closed ranks, ensuring there was nowhere for Ennis to run.

"Wait," Ennis pleaded, standing his ground. "If you kill me, you’ll never get your money back. You must know K.E. can’t repay it by himself, but I can pay you back a couple of hundred euros a month, maybe more if K.E. doesn’t lose his job. I’ll even bring it to you to save you having to come looking for us."

Malachy eyed him suspiciously. "Or," he said menacingly, "I could just kill both of you and take back what you owe in possessions."

"You could," Ennis agreed. "But nothing in that house is ours, and none of it’s worth shit anyway." His mind slid briefly to his laptop, given to him by the college and certainly worth something to someone like Malachy, but he nipped the idea in the bud, determined not to give up his only method of communicating with Jack. "This way, you’ll have all your money...plus interest...back inside two years, maybe sooner." He closed his eyes and held his breath, praying the cold steel of Malachy’s blade stayed far away from his throat. As he waited for an answer...either verbal or physical...he thought back to the way Jack had looked at him when they’d parted; the love he’d seen in those blue eyes giving him the strength to seek a solution to his problems.

Finally, Malachy snorted. "Alright. We’ll try it your way. But I want three hundred a month and the first time you miss a payment, all bets are off."

Ennis exhaled slowly. "Okay," he replied, holding his hand out for Malachy to shake. But the other man had different ideas, bringing the blade up swiftly, slicing through the sleeve of Ennis’s t-shirt and drawing a line of blood just above the faded cigarette burns.

"Just so you know what the stakes are," Malachy said, laughing cruelly as he sat down to resume his earlier conversation.

Clutching his upper arm to staunch the flow of blood, Ennis shuffled out of the bar, feeling the piercing stares of Malachy’s gang burning holes in his back as he went.

***

To: del Mar, Ennis
From: Twist, Jack
Subject: Re: News

Hi Ennis

Thanks for the update about the repayment of K.E.’s debts. Sounds like you’ve worked out a good deal, although I still think it should be your brother paying those guys back, not you. I hope he appreciates what you’re doing for him.

I’m glad the guys were reasonable and understanding about your money problems. I have to admit I was worried about what they might do to you...guess I’ve been watching too many gangster movies, eh?

An update from me – I finally passed one of my exams this morning! It only took me about three years. LOL. I’m meant to be going out for a drink with Paul and his mates tonight to celebrate, but I feel totally knackered so I think maybe I’ll cancel. Drinking with them wouldn’t be as much fun without you anyway.

Stay in touch

Jack

***

The phone rang twice before it was picked up.

"Hey Paul, it’s Jack. Listen, about tonight...I’m going to have to take a rain check on that celebration drink. I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, and I’ve got something really important that I need to do tonight too."

"Yeah, it is more important than going to the pub. I know that’s hard for you to understand."

"What is it? Um, well...it’s Ennis’s eighteenth in a couple of days and I need to make his present."

"No, shithead, I’m not baking him a cake."

"No, I’m not making him something with ribbons and bows on! You do have some strange ideas about what gay men like to do in their spare time, don’t you?"

"No, I don’t think I am going to tell you."

"Bastard! That’s blackmail! Oh alright, I’m making a video for him, something he can watch on his laptop."

"Mmmm. Are you sure you want me to answer that?"

"Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m going to strip naked and film myself...Hello? Paul?"

The line clearly dead, he tossed the phone onto his bed, chuckling loudly to himself as he went to set up his video camera.

***

To: del Mar, Ennis
From: Twist, Jack
Subject: Happy Birthday To You!

Hey you

Just wanted to drop you a message to wish you a very happy 18^th birthday! I hope you manage to have a great day, despite all your jobs and college work.

I wish I could be there to take you out for a slap up meal and treat you to a night you’d never forget (heh heh) but since that’s not an option, this will have to do instead. The link below contains a special birthday present...one that you should definitely not open in front of others. I hope you enjoy it...I certainly had plenty of fun making it ;o)

www.happyeighteenthennis.co.uk/video?username=edm

Jack x

P.S. Almost forgot...you need a password to get into the video. Just put together the city where we first...you know...and our room number at the wedding.

P.P.S. The video will only be available for 48 hours but there’s a download link on there in case you want to keep it ;o)

***

Ennis read the message for a second time, a blush rising to his cheeks and his dick twitching in his jeans as he thought about what Jack might have sent him. He moved to the door and closed it quietly then double locked it and pushed a chair up against it, just in case K.E. should wonder where he’d disappeared to and try to get in. Knowing instinctively that Jack had sent him some form of gay porn, he ripped his clothes off and settled back on his bed, his laptop propped on a pile of books so it was at the right height to maximise his viewing pleasure. Then he clicked the link and waited while the screen filled with images of balloons and birthday cakes, the words Happy 18th Ennis! written in garish, seventy-two point letters across the top. As he watched, slightly confused by what he was seeing, the balloons cleared and a video viewer appeared, a large play button in its centre. Grinning, he clicked the button and a dialog box popped up asking him to enter a password. Without even needing to think about it, he typed in Barcelona17 and hit enter.

On the video screen, Jack’s smiling face appeared, his eyes sparkling. "Hey Ennis," the image said. "Happy Eighteenth! I wanted to do something special to mark the occasion but I didn’t think you’d appreciate me singing to you, so I thought I’d make something I know you’ll enjoy. All you have to do is click on the bow to unwrap your present."

As Jack spoke, the camera pulled back slowly to reveal his naked chest and then, inch by agonising inch, his treasure trail, bare belly and groin. Finally, Jack’s dick came into focus, hard as a rock but partially hidden behind a large, blue bow.

Ennis took a shaky breath, arousal flooding his senses. Holy fuck, what has the man done?

On the screen, the cursor changed to a pointing finger, the tip of the digit centred on the bow.

He clicked, sweat breaking out on his brow as the bow unravelled and Jack’s beautiful dick was revealed in all its glory.

"That’s better," Jack’s image murmured, sitting down on the edge of a bed and spreading his legs wide. "Now sit back and enjoy. Or join in, if you prefer," he added seductively, the wicked glint in his eyes showing he knew exactly what Ennis would do. Jack started to stroke his dick slowly, using his other hand to cup and squeeze his balls and Ennis mimicked his actions automatically, his hands moving to the same rhythm. When Jack sped up, he did likewise, and when Jack moaned softly, he echoed the sound, heat building in his groin.

On the video, Jack sucked in a breath. "That’s it, Ennis. Just like that. Come with me."

"Oh, god, Jack. I’m close," he whispered back, his brain barely registering the absurdity of holding a conversation with his computer. Jack’s presence felt so real, almost like he was in the room, his hand stroking Ennis’s swollen dick. Suddenly, he couldn’t hold back, ribbons of come streaking his stomach at the same time as Jack’s dick jerked on the video and the camera showed a close up of the older man coming hard.

After a brief pause, the camera zoomed out again and Jack gave him a satisfied grin, his face flushed. "Happy birthday, baby," he whispered as his image faded, replaced by more balloons surrounding two small clickable buttons, one to play again and one to download. Breathing heavily, he wiped his hand on the sheet and clicked the download button, saving the video in a password protected location on his hard drive.

***

From: del Mar, Ennis
To: Twist, Jack
Subject: Re: Happy Birthday To You!

Jesus, Jack. I can’t believe you did that! Please tell me you didn’t get someone to film it...

You really are shameless! Not that I’m complaining... ;o)

Thank you for the best birthday present ever
Ennis

P.S. I thought your surname was Twist, not something starting with an x ;o)

P.P.S. Belated congratulations on your exam success xx

***

A couple of months after Ennis’s birthday, K.E. came home one evening in a rage, ranting about being given a warning at work for something he hadn’t done. Trying to keep out of his way, Ennis instead managed to spill a full cup of coffee over his brother’s brand new work shirt, infuriating K.E. still further and leading to him hauling his belt out of his jeans, ready to lay into Ennis.

But as K.E. raised his arm above his head to bring the belt down, Ennis drew on his newfound inner strength to reach up and grab his brother’s wrist. "No," he said firmly. "Not this time, K.E. I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m an adult, and if you hit me, I’ll go straight to the police and report you."

"You wouldn’t fucking dare," K.E. bit out. He tried to tug his arm free but wavered slightly at the steely resolve in his younger brother’s eyes.

Ennis stood strong. "Yeah, I would. You’ve got away with this for too long, but enough’s enough. I’m busting a gut trying to save you from Malachy’s gang, working three jobs to get enough cash to meet the repayments. You don’t seem to realise just how much shit you’re in. What do you think they’ll do if we can’t pay them some month, eh? Do you think they’ll be happy to take an I.O.U?"

K.E. shrugged.

"Yeah, I didn’t think you’d know. Well, I’ll tell you...or rather, I’ll show you." Ennis pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt, revealing the scar from Malachy’s warning cut. "See that scar? That’s what Malachy did when I sorted out the repayments...just to give me a little taste of what would happen if I missed one." He fixed his brother with a stare and continued. "If that’s what they do as a warning, I don’t think I want to experience the real thing."

"Shit," K.E. murmured, taking a step forward and studying the scar up close. After a few seconds, his eyes were drawn to the three little circles below the scar and he traced them with his fingertips. "Did he do that, too?" he asked quietly, a look of concern crossing his face.

Ennis took a breath and shook his head. "No, he didn’t," he whispered.

"Then who...?" K.E. started, before understanding flashed in his eyes. "Oh, god," he breathed. "I couldn’t have...I mean, I...I didn’t...shit. Why? Why did I do it?"

"I don’t know," Ennis told him ruefully. "I’ve never known why."

K.E. dropped the belt on the floor and slumped down onto the sofa, burying his head in his hands. His shoulders began to shake and Ennis saw tears slipping from between K.E.’s fingers, shock hitting him as he realised it was the first time he’d seen his brother cry. He didn’t even shed a tear at the funerals. He watched for a moment then sat down on the chair opposite K.E. and waited.

Finally, K.E. seemed to compose himself and he looked up, his eyes red. "Ennis, I...I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to get involved in this...this business with Malachy. And I swear I didn’t know how much I’d hurt you. Please don’t go to the Gards. I promise it won’t happen again and I...I’ll help to pay the debt off, too."

Ennis eyed him suspiciously. "And what about the next time you have a drink? Or the next time you throw your wages away at the bookies? What then, K.E.?" he asked harshly.

"Then you can call the Gards and I won’t try to stop you. Just give me another chance, Ennis...please?"

Ennis took a long time to answer but finally he cast his eyes round the room and focused on the one remaining photo of their parents. He might not like it, but K.E. was still family, and he knew what he had to do. With a sigh, he looked back at K.E. and nodded.

***

To: del Mar, Ennis
From: Twist, Jack
Subject: Good on you!

Hi Ennis

I’m so proud of you! It’s about time you stood up to that ~~bast~~ brother of yours. I hope he took on board all the things you said to him.

Just remember that this is his last chance, okay?

Jack x

***

When Ennis returned home from college that Friday, he was surprised to see the lights on in the house, since K.E. normally went straight to the pub after work. Entering the kitchen, he was even more stunned to discover that not only did it appear his brother had cleaned the house, but K.E. seemed completely sober as he spooned the contents of a large pot into two bowls.

"Stew, Ennis?" his brother asked.

He nodded, unable to speak.

"Well, sit yourself down, then. There’s soda bread too...just like Ma used to make."

K.E. brought the food to the table, a marked tremor in his hands indicating he was suffering from alcohol withdrawal. He went to sit down but then jumped up again, clearly remembering something. When he returned to the table, he handed a brown envelope to Ennis.

Ennis recognised K.E.’s pay packet immediately. He looked up, meeting his brother’s eyes.

"It’s all there," K.E. said quietly. "Use some of it to get groceries, if you think we need anything, then give the rest to Malachy. I don’t need any money this week."

***

To: Twist, Jack
From: del Mar, Ennis
Subject: Re: Good on you!

Hey Jack

Sorry it’s taken me so long to answer your message. I’ve been really busy at college, sorting out my final project. But thanks for that - no-one ever told me they were proud of me before. I have to admit I was shaking the whole time, but it felt like you were right there behind me, willing me to stand up to K.E. I guess it’s much easier to fight when you’ve got something worth living for.

He definitely did listen, btw. He’s been so much better these last few weeks. He’s been handing over his pay packet to me every week so I’ve been able to pay quite a bit of the debt back. He’s also been helping round the house, and he hasn’t laid a finger on me. He’s still drinking, but not nearly as much.
Yesterday he offered to take this month’s instalment to the guys he owes it to, which is pretty brave since they put him in hospital last time they saw him. I was a bit dubious at first, but he’s been doing so well, and I am busy at college, so I think I’m going to let him do it.

Maybe it’s all going to work out fine after all.

Ennis x

P.S. I wish those kisses were real.

***

Over the next few months they kept in touch by email two or three times a week, keeping each other updated on the mundane things in their lives as well as the more exciting events like Jack passing another exam and Ennis coming top of his class for his project. Their messages remained innocent, on the off chance that anyone should intercept them, but they both understood the feelings that lay behind the smiley faces and little crosses.

At Christmas, Jack sent Ennis a link to a new website he’d discovered with a proposed date and time for them both to watch a specific video from the site. At the allotted time, each of them stripped naked and got comfortable before clicking the link, their enjoyment heightened by the knowledge that their state of arousal was mirrored on the other side of the Irish Sea.

For Jack’s birthday in February, Ennis sent him some photos he’d taken with his mobile phone, photos showing not only that the thought of Jack was still enough to get him hard, but also that the scars K.E. had inflicted were finally beginning to fade. Jack told him by return email that he wasn’t entirely sure which photos gave him more pleasure.

Finally, just under a month before Ennis was due to finish college, they made tentative plans to meet up somewhere out in the middle of nowhere after Ennis’s graduation. It would be no more than a camping trip, but after almost a year of separation, both of them felt like they’d just won a first-class, all expenses paid holiday around the world.

***

A couple of days after first discussing the trip with Jack, Ennis was walking to college when a dark car with its windows blacked out pulled up alongside him, its back door opening as it stopped.

"Get in," a voice ordered from inside the car.

Recognising the voice, Ennis took a step back and looked around, weighing up his options.
The voice spoke again, more forcefully. "I said, get in."

Ennis looked around again, desperately seeking an escape route. As he did so, the doors on the other side of the car opened and two burly men got out, both of them dressed from head to toe in black. They quickly moved round the car, one at the front, the other at the back, leaving Ennis with only one possible direction to run...straight into the brick wall behind him. Defeated, he hung his head and allowed the men to bundle him into the car, his bottom barely on the seat before the driver started his engine and took off with a squeal of tyres.

He turned his head to the side and looked into Malachy’s eyes. "Why am I here?" he asked nervously. "You’ve been getting your money, haven’t you?"

Malachy looked down at his hands, carefully filing one fingernail with the blade of his knife. "Not for the last two months, no," he replied.

"Wh...what?" Ennis stammered, his eyes wide. "I gave the money to K.E. He was supposed to come to the bar and..." He paused, realisation hitting him hard. "He never turned up, did he?"

Malachy shook his head.

"Oh fuck. Malachy, I swear...I didn’t know. I trusted him to...oh god, you have to believe I wouldn’t have skipped payments. I’ll make it up to you, I swear. I’ll..."

As Ennis panicked, the car suddenly screeched to a halt and the driver jumped out, opening the back door and hauling Ennis out. He threw Ennis to the ground then stood back as Malachy climbed out of the car and stood over Ennis, flipping the knife in his hand. As he contemplated what was coming, Ennis felt his stomach lurch and he rolled to the side to bring up his breakfast.

When he finally finished retching, he took a deep breath and decided he wasn’t above begging. "Malachy, please. Don’t hurt me. I promise I’ll pay you back triple next month and I’ll never let K.E. get his hands on the money again. I won’t miss another payment, I swear."

Above him, Malachy grunted as his henchmen crowded round, waiting for their cue. "I told you what would happen if you missed just one," he said.

"I know but...you’ve got to believe me, I had no idea K.E. didn’t pay you. Please."

Long moments passed before Malachy finally sighed. "Alright. I’ll let you off with a warning this time...but you have two weeks to pay back the rest of what your brother owes, in full. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll kill both of you." Reaching his hand into Ennis’s jacket pocket, he pulled out Ennis’s mobile phone and made a show of crushing it under the heel of his boot, then turned quickly and got back into the car. Just before he closed the door, he gave one last command to his men. "Give him a warning, boys."

***

Two hours later, Ennis staggered his way along the country lane Malachy’s men left him in, his one good eye scanning the horizon for any form of help. Unable to stand fully upright from the beating the men had meted out, he settled instead for a lopsided, stooped shuffle. Every breath sent fierce stabs of pain through his chest, his ribs at best badly bruised, while every step further fuelled the fire in his balls caused by three overenthusiastic pairs of Doc Martens.

Finally, when his reserves of energy were all but used up, he spotted a pay phone at the side of the road. Hauling himself up, he fished around in his jeans pocket for a coin then dialled the number he’d committed to memory. When he heard a click on the other end of the line, he pushed the money into the slot, cleared his throat and whispered into the receiver.

"Jack, it’s me. I need you."

No Matter What - Chapter 10

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:35:09 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 10
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. Your advice for this chapter was, as ever, invaluable. Love you loads and I hope you have a fabulous birthday.

Author's Note: This chapter features Ennis's story. Parts of it may be very hard to read for some of you but I hope you'll stick with it. I promise the good guys will win in the end.

This chapter also brings to a close part 2 of this story. Part 3 will probably start next Tuesday, but there is a slight chance I'll delay that by a week to give me a chance to get ahead with the writing again. Just so you know...

Ignoring Jack’s shocked gasp, Ennis went on. "K.E. had been touchy for a few days, but he seemed okay on my birthday. He made me a special meal and gave me a remote control helicopter... and he even got me a cake." He paused for a moment, realising that Jack might not find those things unusual, then tried to explain. "Him and me...we never really got on. He was a teenager when I came along and having me around, getting into his stuff and restricting his freedom, well, that wasn’t easy for him. When our folks died, our relationship deteriorated further. Money was tight and he couldn’t go out and let off steam with his friends because he had to look after me every night. I guess he was pretty resentful but he never laid a hand on me...not till that day."

"What happened?" Jack whispered.

"I’d been bouncing off the walls most of the day...probably on some kind of sugar high from the birthday cake...playing with my helicopter, scrambling over the furniture and running around. K.E. asked me a few times to keep the noise down but I didn’t pay any attention. He raised his voice a little and told me in no uncertain terms to stop but I ignored him again and he snapped. He grabbed me as I ran past him, catching me round the wrist and smacking me hard on the backside a couple of times. Then he took the toy off me and told me to go to my room." He shrugged before continuing. "Once the shock wore off and I calmed down, I realised I’d been out of order and I apologised to him. Turned out that he lost his job a couple of days earlier and he was on edge because of that. He said he was sorry too and told me it wouldn’t happen again...and I believed him."

Jack stroked his hair. "But it did."

Ennis nodded slowly. "Yeah, it did. He started drinking quite heavily not long after that, probably because he was frustrated at not being able to get another job. At first, he only drank after I went to bed at night, but then he started drinking during the day while I was at school. One day I came home with my report card where there were a couple of comments about me not paying attention in class, messing about instead of concentrating. K.E. failed another job interview that morning so he was already angry, and he spent the afternoon with a bottle of whiskey, adding fuel to the fire. I guess reading my report card was just the last straw. He took his belt off and he...he..."

His voice trailed off, his breath hitching as he tried to keep his emotions in check, tears still threatening even when he felt Jack’s arms tighten around him.

"Take your time," Jack told him softly, holding him close until his breathing returned to normal. "He hit you with his belt?"

"He made me drop my trousers and boxers then bend over the back of the sofa...and he belted me six times." Ennis swatted at his face angrily, wiping away the solitary teardrop that escaped. "He’s a big guy, tall and powerful, and back then I was quite small and scrawny. I tried so hard not to cry, but it really hurt and I couldn’t stop the tears...so he hit me twice more for being a baby. He told me our da used to take the belt to him but he always took it like a man."

"Oh god, Ennis. I’m so sorry," Jack breathed, his own eyes misting over. "I don’t know what to say. That bastard...how could he do that to his little brother?"

Barely registering Jack’s words, he went on. "It became a regular occurrence after that. Every time he was drunk...which was pretty much every day...I had to tiptoe around him in case I gave him an excuse to lash out at me. It didn’t take much...being too noisy, leaving a jacket lying on a chair instead of hanging it up, eating too much, being late home from school...most things resulted in me getting belted. Sometimes it was like the first time, bent over the sofa with my trousers round my ankles, but most of the time he just hit whatever he could...my legs, my bottom or my back...with whichever end of the belt was nearest. He even hit me when I started doing well at school, because he said that getting good marks was the sign of a sissy."

Jack buried his face in soft curls. "Shit," he choked out. "And this has been going on for..."

"Five years, give or take a few days," Ennis interrupted. "I thought it might get better when he got a job because there was more money coming in, but he just spent the extra on more alcohol and carried right on as before. Even getting an after-school job and doing all the chores round the house made no difference." He took a shaky breath. "A few weeks ago...not long before the stag weekend...I was cleaning the living room while he sprawled on the sofa. There was a full ashtray sitting beside him and I picked it up to empty it. When I laid it back down, he immediately flicked some more ash into it, just to wind me up. I knew better than to say anything, but he must have seen a flicker of annoyance in my eyes because he jumped up and seized my arm, hard, just above the elbow." He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. "He looked right into my eyes then pressed the lit end of his cigarette against my arm, holding it there for several seconds. I didn’t scream, even though the pain was intense, but I guess he knew I wanted to so he did it again, daring me with his eyes to yell out."

Jack jerked upright, forcing Ennis to turn and face him. "Fuck, Ennis. You’ve got to do something about him. He should be in prison for what he’s done to you! You’ve got to go to the police, tell them everything you’ve told me. You can’t go back there and let him carry on hurting you."

Ennis shook his head firmly. "I have to go back, Jack...I’ve got college to finish, and three jobs, too. Besides, K.E. is the only family I have left. You know, he...he didn’t have to take care of me when our folks died but he did, because we were always taught that family is important. Maybe he doesn’t believe that anymore, but I still do. I know he’s done some terrible things, but he’s my brother and I...I don’t want him to go to jail." And anyway, if he goes to prison then Malachy’s gang will just come after me instead. "I just...I can’t do that to him, Jack."

Jack pulled him into his arms and spoke softly. "Well, you could always come and live here, with me. I’m sure we could work something out to let you transfer to a college near here. You don’t have to turn K.E. in, even though he deserves to rot in hell for what he’s done to you, but he won’t be able to hurt you any more, either. It’d be a good life."

Ennis shook his head again, wriggling free from Jack’s embrace. "No, I...I told you...it’s not going to be like that. I’ve got to go back...K.E. still needs me, despite everything." He needs me to help pay off his debts so we can both escape from Malachy’s threats. And in the meantime, he needs me to watch his back, so they don’t try to kill him again. But I can’t tell you about that, on top of everything else. Meeting Jack’s eyes, he shrugged. "Jack, if I moved in with you, he would know why, and he would track us down. There’s not much more he can do to me, but I can’t stand the idea of him hurting you...or worse. This isn’t your fight and I don’t want to put you at risk."

"I can look after myself," Jack said defiantly. "I could come with you, back to Dublin. I could protect you, stop him hurting you."

"Jack, I know you want to help me, but K.E....he really despises quee...gay folks. He and his friends once beat a guy up because they saw him kissing another man, and he told me more than once that he would kill me if he ever found out that I was that way."

Jack stared at him. "But that’s just talk. We could face him together. Surely even he wouldn’t actually kill his own flesh and blood."

"I used to think so, too," Ennis sighed, getting up from the sofa and crossing the room to look out of the window. Although he’d told Jack most of the story, there was one last horrible truth he wanted to keep hidden. But Jack needed to know the threat was real and there was only one way to make him understand. Keeping his back to Jack, he spoke quietly. "You know that scar on my leg? The one I told you I got in an accident on my bike? Well...that wasn’t exactly true. I lied to you earlier, Jack. I...I’ve known about myself for a long time. I’ve watched a lot of videos on the internet and I’ve read a lot, too, but I’ve always been really careful, locking my laptop and putting passwords on everything. But one morning, about six months ago, I was doing my cleaning job and I found a...a gay men’s magazine in one of the toilets. I couldn’t look at it there in case anyone else saw me, so I took it home and hid it under my bed. I looked at it a few times...you know...at night, in bed...but then I forgot all about it until one night when I came home and found K.E. standing waiting for me...with the magazine in one hand and a knife in the other."

Across the room, Jack sucked in a breath. "Jesus..."

"He asked me if it was mine and...well, I couldn’t really deny it, could I? But I told him I’d never looked at it. I think I even said that I brought it home so that no-one else would be corrupted by it." He laughed humourlessly. "He didn’t believe me, of course. He said he was going to teach me a lesson I wouldn’t forget in a hurry and then he swung the knife at me, going for my balls. Fortunately he was drunk and his aim was a bit off. But I was wearing shorts so there was no resistance to the blade...and the scar you saw was the result."

He heard Jack get up from the sofa and then felt two strong arms envelop him, holding him tight. Jack’s shaky breath wafted against his face as he spoke. "Ennis, you have to tell someone about this. He could have killed you."

"No! I...I can’t. Maybe all of this is my fault. Maybe...I don’t know...maybe him hitting me is my punishment for being g...being like this. Maybe he’s always known, going right back to me not taking the beatings like a man."

Jack spun him round so they were nose to nose. "No, Ennis!" he said forcefully. "Don’t ever say that! Being gay isn’t something you should be punished for. It’s the way you were born and no-one has the right to try to beat that out of you. You hear me? Christ, you were just a little boy when this started...you didn’t know back then that you were gay."

Ennis screwed his eyes shut, his body trembling in Jack’s arms. "I know," he said in a small voice. "But I have to go home. If I do he might beat me occasionally but at least I’ll be alive. But if he ever finds out the truth, he will kill me...and he would kill you too, if he found out about this...about us. Going home keeps you safe and that matters to me...more than you know." He pressed a desperate kiss on Jack’s lips. "Jack...we can keep in touch by email from time to time, but..."

"From time to time?" Jack said incredulously. "What, like birthdays and Christmases?"

He burrowed his head into Jack’s chest. "We have to stand it, Jack. This can’t be fixed...not right now."

"When, then?" Jack asked, pushing a stray curl back behind Ennis’s ear.

"I don’t know," Ennis whispered. "Someday...," he added before his voice finally cracked and the tears that had been threatening since the start of his confession ripped through him.

Jack held him close as he cried, stroking his hair and humming softly in his ear. Eventually, when his sobs faded to a series of muffled hiccups, Jack took his hand and led him to bed, undressing him carefully then helping him to slide in between the cool bedclothes. Tossing his own clothes aside, Jack climbed in beside him and enfolded him in a tender embrace, hands softly caressing the scars and bruises, easing the tension in his muscles and allowing him to contemplate sleep. Just as he was about to drop off, his tears finally dry, he heard Jack whisper fiercely in his ear.

"You’ve got one thing wrong, you know. This is my fight too. It has been from the moment I saw you in the airport. I’m not going to pretend to understand why you can’t run away from him, but I need you to know I’m here for you, no matter what."

***

Sometime in the wee small hours of the morning, Ennis stirred slightly, pulled up from the depths of slumber by a shout and a loud thud emanating from somewhere outside the room. Screwing his eyes up to fight off approaching consciousness, he listened for a moment or two but heard only silence. With his brain attributing the noises to simple unfamiliarity with his surroundings, his body relaxed and he succumbed to sleep once more.

***

Well after eleven o’clock the following morning he finally woke again, the relief of telling Jack his story affording him the best night’s sleep he’d had in months. He got up and padded into the bathroom, blinking in confusion at a dent in the wall above the sink he could have sworn hadn’t been there the previous night. When he was done, he wandered back to the bedroom, finding Jack sitting on top of the bedclothes, dressed only in a pair of red boxer shorts. He stretched then lay down beside the older man.

Jack appraised him, one hand coming over to ruffle his bed-head. "Well, good morning, sleepy," he chuckled. "Nice to see you’re still alive. I’d gone to get a mirror to hold in front of your face to make sure you were still breathing!"

Ennis’s mouth quirked up in a smile but, as he opened it to respond, Jack leaned down and captured his lips in a sweet kiss, Jack’s tongue pushing in gently and tangling with his own.

"Mmmmph...ice," he murmured against Jack’s mouth.

Jack drew back and looked at him quizzically. "What?"

"I said this is nice," Ennis answered with a laugh, pushing himself up on his elbows to bring their mouths together again, kissing Jack slow and deep.

After a few minutes Jack pulled back again. "Lie on your stomach," he whispered.

"What? Jack, I...," Ennis began, his expression puzzled and a little fearful.

"Just do it," Jack insisted, pressing a reassuring kiss to the younger man’s lips before nudging at his side, encouraging him to roll over.

Reluctantly, he did as Jack asked, crossing his arms and resting his head on them, his shoulders tensing as Jack moved closer. When he felt Jack’s hand touch his skin, instinct told him to jerk away.

"Hey, it’s okay," Jack murmured, leaning in to kiss the spot between his shoulder blades. "I’m not going to hurt you...not ever."

He forced himself to relax, taking deep breaths as Jack’s lips and tongue flitted over his upper back, kissing and licking at the bruises and scars, replacing the reality of how they got there with far better memories. Jack’s mouth never lost contact with his body as it drifted lower, kissing down his spine, occasionally taking detours off to the side to bathe another mark with tenderness. Finally, when every spot of his back had been covered and his skin was tingling from the affection lavished on it, Jack reached his buttocks, sliding his hands over the soft flesh then touching his lips to each cheek in turn, soothing all the places K.E. had beaten over the years.

"Are you okay?" Jack whispered as he moved back up the bed.

He turned his head to the side to look at the older man. "Yeah," he nodded. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For...for listening last night. And for making me feel safe," he said softly.

Jack smiled sadly, reaching out to brush a finger across his cheek. "It’s alright. I just wish I could keep you safe."

Ennis caught Jack’s hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing each finger in turn. As he did so, he noticed Jack’s knuckles were badly scraped. "What happened to..." he started, his voice trailing off as he put two and two together. Oh god...that’s what I heard in the middle of the night. He must’ve punched that hole in the bathroom wall. Oh, Jack... He wriggled over towards Jack and rested his head on the other man’s chest, draping an arm over Jack’s body. "I know," he said softly, kissing Jack’s raw knuckles again. "But I’ll be okay, I promise. Anyway, K.E. has other things to worry about now."

Jack put an arm round him. "His debts, you mean?"

"You know about that?"

"Yeah. You told me in Barcelona that he got into debt when he lost his job. And Paul told me that he ended up in hospital as a result of a fight with guys he owed money to, rather than falling like you said," Jack said.

Ennis raised his head and met Jack’s eyes. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just...I didn’t want to tell Paul’s friends the truth. I didn’t want to give them another reason to hate me."

"It’s okay," Jack told him, pulling him closer. "I understand why you lied about it. How bad are his debts? And what about these guys...will they cause trouble for you?"

"He owes a lot," he answered truthfully. For a brief moment he considered telling Jack all about Malachy and the money K.E. had thrown away on the horses. But he was certain he’d already laid too much worry at Jack’s door so he stopped himself, settling instead for the story that would have been true just a few short days ago. "But don’t worry. K.E. is working again now, and I’ve got some money saved so we’ll be able to pay some of the debt off."

Jack eyed him suspiciously but eventually nodded. "Well, if you’re sure. But, if things don’t work out, I could give you a loan. I don’t have a lot, but if it would help..."

"I don’t need your money," Ennis said quietly but firmly, cutting Jack off. "I appreciate the offer, but we’ll be okay." He leaned over and kissed Jack forcefully, letting one hand trail down Jack’s body to linger over the older man’s dick, which immediately started to harden. "Let’s not talk about this anymore. I’m sure there are better things we could be doing in the time we’ve got left."

***

Late in the afternoon, Jack pulled up in the car park opposite the ferry terminal and turned to Ennis, reaching out to take the younger man’s hand. "Look, Ennis. I know you have to go back, and I know you can’t turn your brother in. But I don’t give a damn about him. So if he hurts you again, I swear I won’t hesitate to call the police and tell them the whole story." His eyes blazed with barely controlled anger. "Ennis, I care about you...a lot. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you, so I need you to promise me you’ll do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe. And if you ever find yourself in real trouble...whether it’s with K.E. or the guys he owes money to...then you have to call me."

Ennis frowned, trying to pull his hand free. "Jack, I..."

"No, Ennis," Jack interrupted, holding on strongly. "This isn’t negotiable. Your safety is the only thing that matters to me, you understand? Now promise me."

Ennis raised his other hand to his lips, gnawing at his thumbnail, his eyes anywhere but on Jack. After what seemed like an age, he finally answered, his voice small and insecure. "Okay."

"Say it like you mean it," Jack said forcefully.

Ennis looked up and met his eyes, remembering the hole in the wall and Jack’s injured hand. "I promise, Jack," he said sincerely.

Jack nodded in relief and moved in to hug Ennis tightly. "I’ll miss you," he murmured as Ennis broke the embrace and got out of the car, heading towards the ferry without a backwards glance.

No Matter What - Locations and Photos I

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 22:03:57 GMT

A few people have asked in comments where Jack, Paul and the others live, and also where Ennis is going to for the wedding. I thought I'd give some answers here, along with a few visuals.

Jack, Paul and the other lads from the stag weekend come from Chester, near North Wales. Ennis, as you know, comes from Dublin. The cheapest way to get to the UK from Ireland is to use the ferry from Dun Laoghaire to Holyhead, which is in North West Wales, about 100 miles from Chester. Here's a map showing all the key locations.

This is the beach bar that they drank in on the stag weekend in Barcelona.

Ennis and K.E. live in the Ballsbridge area of Dublin. Their house is the one with the red door.

Paul and Sinead's wedding reception was held at the five star Quay Hotel, Conwy, North Wales, which is on the coast about halfway between Chester and Holyhead. This is the hotel from across the bay.

Finally, this is the room Jack and Ennis shared at the wedding. Note the nice king sized bed ;o)

No Matter What - Chapter 6

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 07:04:59 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 6
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. Your help and friendship means the world to me.

Author's Note: The "Gards" mentioned in this chapter are the police force of the Republic of Ireland. They're actually called the Garda, but people refer to them as the Gards.

Ennis got off the bus at the end of the street where he grew up and sighed, hunching his shoulders in a vain attempt to stop Dublin’s incessant rain from making its way down the back of his t-shirt. Only two days had passed since the end of the stag weekend but already the happiness and peace he’d found in Barcelona had seeped out of his system, leaving him depressed about his return home and more than a little nervous about what he would have to face, now that K.E. was home from the hospital. Dammit, why did it have to end? Why couldn’t I just stay there forever, with the warm sun overhead and Jack’s arms wrapped tightly around me? But he knew that was the stuff of fairytales, like the ones his ma used to read to him, and fairytales just didn’t happen to the likes of him. So he pushed his dreams from his mind and shoved the front door open.

"Ennis! Is that you?" an angry voice shouted from the living room.

He stuck his head round the door cautiously. "Yeah, I’m just home."

K.E. was sprawled on the battered sofa, his left leg propped up on a filthy cushion, a tumbler of whiskey in his hand and an almost empty bottle on the floor beside him. "Well, where the fuck have you been?" he growled. "I’ve been home three fucking hours already. You were meant to be here. You know I can’t get upstairs on my own. I had to piss in the fucking bottle!"

"Sorry," Ennis muttered. "The ferry was delayed because of the wind."

"Yeah, well. At least you’re here now. Where you should be, not swanning off on some fucking stag weekend in fucking Spain. How was it, by the way?" K.E. spat out, downing the rest of his whiskey then reaching for the bottle, smashing it in anger when he remembered what it contained.

Ennis shrugged. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if K.E. really cared how his weekend had been. It wasn’t as though his brother usually gave a damn what he did, as long as he was at K.E.’s beck and call whenever he was required. But he’d learned the hard way that answering back wasn’t a good idea and he didn’t like the look of the jagged bottleneck K.E. was still holding. "It was okay," he mumbled. "Paul’s friends were nice enough."

"Well, isn’t that sweet?" K.E. sneered, scowling up at Ennis. "Not that it matters, since you won’t see any of them again. Now go and sort out some dinner. I’m fucking starving."

Ennis bit his lip and turned to head back out the door, stopping when the bottleneck K.E. had been holding shattered on the wall close to his head.

"And Ennis?" his brother said, with a twisted smile. "Go and get me some fucking whiskey."

***

Closing the shop door quietly behind him, Ennis started for home, the brown bag containing his brother’s whiskey tucked firmly under his arm, thankful that old Mr. O’Neill had once again turned a blind eye to his being underage. Coming to the end of the street he turned into a narrow lane and walked straight into a tall, powerfully built man, his bald head glistening with droplets of rain, colourful tattoos snaking across bulging biceps and disappearing from view under a tight, black t-shirt.

"Well, well," the man said. "If it isn’t Ennis del Mar. What a pleasant surprise."

Ennis stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, digging his nails into the palms of his hands to stop himself from shaking. "Hello, Malachy," he said. Hearing a shuffle behind him, he spun round, coming face to face with another man of much smaller build. The second man’s hair was tied back in a ponytail, the deep scar on his right cheek and the sharp sovereign rings adorning the fingers of his clenched fist giving him a menacing appearance, despite his lack of height. "And Brendan, too," Ennis added, nodding as the shorter man moved round to stand beside his cohort.

"Rumour has it that good-for-nothing brother of yours got out of hospital," Malachy said quietly.

Ennis stared at the two men, saying nothing, certain that Malachy knew far more about K.E.’s movements than he did.

"The silent type," Malachy chuckled. "I like that. But maybe you can find your tongue and pass a message on to your brother. Tell him we want our money back. Tell him...tell him that, next time, it’ll be the morgue he needs rather than the hospital." As he spoke, Malachy pulled a switchblade from his jeans pocket, flicking it open and bringing it rapidly up against Ennis’s throat. "And tell him that, if we can’t find him, we’ll take what he owes from his baby brother...in flesh." He held the blade steady for a second then closed it with a click and patted Ennis’s cheek with his palm. Finally, he nodded at Brendan and the two men walked off down the lane.

Ennis swallowed, rubbing his fingers over his throat where the blade had been. He jumped when he heard a thick brogue behind him.

"You oughta go to da Gards about dem."

Ennis turned to see the shopkeeper standing at the end of the lane. He pulled his hands free from his pockets and raised them, palm up. "And what should I tell them, eh?" he asked. "That my brother is a drunk who has racked up hundreds of euros of gambling debts and now some men he borrowed money from want it back? It’s their money, Mr. O’Neill. They have a right to want it back."

"But dey were treatening you. Sure I heard dem wit me own ears," the old man said. "Dey could kill you, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Ennis murmured. "Guess I’ll just have to learn to run fast, then." With a shiver, and a shrug towards the shopkeeper, he started walking, having already decided not to bother telling K.E. the last part of the message. It wasn’t like his brother would give a shit, anyway.

***

Just under a month later, Ennis cycled home from his after-college job in a nearby bookshop, hoping to be able to catch an hour’s sleep and a bite to eat before heading down to the supermarket for his night job stacking shelves. He was exhausted; four solid weeks of rising at five to do three hours of cleaning before college, and then working at the supermarket until midnight, were really beginning to take their toll. But he was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. The money he’d earned was safely stored in a locked box under his bed, and he was only a couple of hundred euros short of having enough to pay Malachy and his friends off. He whistled cheerfully as he opened the door and climbed the stairs to his room, his latest pay packet burning a hole in his pocket. Reaching the top, he fished his key out and went to slot it into the lock he’d installed on his bedroom door, a necessary evil to guard against K.E. ever discovering his laptop and all the secrets it contained. But there was nowhere to put the key; the lock had been picked open, and the door stood ajar.

He ran inside, breathing a sigh of relief to see his computer still sitting where he’d left it, the padlock on its case untouched. Looking around, he saw no obvious disarray, other than the clothes and books that always decorated the stained carpet. He frowned, then shook his head and reached under the bed for the box, stopping in his tracks when he got it in his hands. The box was broken open, the lock still attached to both lid and base but the sides so badly dented that the contents...or lack of them...were clearly visible. He squeezed his hand inside and pulled out the few notes that were left, throwing them onto the bed. Just forty euros, give or take a few cents, less than a hundredth of what K.E. owed to Malachy’s gang and certainly a whole lot less than it would take to get the gang off their backs. Feeling suddenly nauseous, he fell back against the wall and slid to the floor, his head in his hands. He only stirred when he heard the front door slam and K.E.’s drink-slurred voice echoing up the stairs.

"Ennis!"

Ennis jumped to his feet, his despair instantly replaced by white hot rage. He grabbed the box and what remained of his savings and flew down the stairs. Bursting into the living room, he threw the box at his brother, who avoided it only because his legs were doing a poor job of keeping him steady.

"You bastard!" Ennis yelled. "Do you have any idea how fucking long I’ve been saving that money, hoping to pay off the thugs that you got us in debt with? Do you?"

K.E. shrugged, his eyes struggling to focus as Ennis moved nearer.

"Four years," Ennis said, biting back tears, refusing to cry in front of his brother. "Four fucking years of saving every fucking penny I earned. Four years of never having enough to eat because you blow your wages and my child support on drink. Four years of wearing clothes that I’ve long since grown out of. Four years of not using that money for me because keeping you...keeping us...alive was more important. Four years, K.E....four...fucking...years." He dropped his head, no longer able to look at the man who had destroyed everything, yet again. "What did you do with it, anyway?" he choked out.

"I...I had some tips. For the horses. Lost the first few but then I had a big win...came in at fourteen to one. I won nearly eight grand, Ennis!"

Ennis’s head came up with a jolt, his eyes filled with cautious hope. "Eight grand? Really?" He did some quick calculations. "Oh fucking hell, K.E. We can pay Malachy’s gang off, smarten this place up, get some new clothes, eat like kings for a..." His rising excitement tailed off along with his voice as he saw K.E.’s eyes cloud over. Closing his own eyes against the inevitable let down, he whispered, "What?"

"Well, I...I bought some drinks to celebrate, then some more and then...then someone gave me another tip. A sure thing. Ten to one...and almost eight grand to play with. With that sort of money we could have done anything, little brother. Gone anywhere we wanted. Got away from this place...this life...the memories."

Ennis sighed deeply, knowing what was coming without needing to hear it from K.E.’s lips. "But we can’t, because your sure thing wasn’t so sure after all, was it? It’s all gone? The money?"

K.E. nodded and shrugged dumbly, like it was no big deal.

Ennis waited for a few minutes until his breathing steadied then spoke softly. "Then I am too." He turned and sloped towards the door, his spirit crushed but his dignity stopping him from crumbling.

Behind him, K.E. woke up. "You’re leaving?" he sneered. "Where the fuck are you going to go, eh? No one else gives a damn about you and you can’t make it on your own. You’ve got no money, remember? Ennis? Ennis!"

As he closed the door behind him, his brother’s furious voice still bouncing off the walls, Ennis fingered the money and the pay packet in his pocket. K.E. was wrong about that, at least. He’s wrong about no one else caring, too, Ennis thought, a pair of blue eyes flashing across his mind. Buoyed by thoughts of Jack, he grabbed his bike and set off for Dun Laoghaire and the ferry that could take him wherever he wanted to go.

***

"Here you go," Jack said as he laid a fresh pint of beer down in front of Paul and took a seat next to his friend. "Your last pint as a free man."

Paul rolled his eyes. "Don’t you believe it. I’ll be drinking heavily tomorrow night – it’s the only way I’ll get any sleep."

"Yeah, I’ll bet," he chuckled. "God, it’s hard to believe it’s only two days till your wedding. You’re really going to go through with it? It’s not too late to back out, you know...to stay in the ranks with us single men."

Paul looked at him, catching a glimpse of pain in Jack’s eyes as he joked. "No, I think I’ll see it through, thanks. And don’t try to fool me, Jack. I know you’d love to leave those ranks behind too."

"Yeah, well," he shrugged. "Maybe I would, but I’m not exactly beating men away from my door." He let out a breath. "Maybe I’m being too picky. Maybe Mr. Right just isn’t out there." Or maybe it’s that he’s Mr. Right and none of the others could ever come close.

Paul fell silent for a moment, the expression on his face suggesting he knew more about Jack’s inner thoughts than Jack might have wanted. Then Paul spoke softly, still looking into his eyes, watching for a reaction.

"Jack, we had a call from Ennis last night. He says he’s going to make it to the wedding after all. He’s going straight to the hotel, arriving tomorrow sometime."

Jack swallowed his mouthful of beer and coughed, his heart suddenly beating twice as fast. "Damn...I mean...uh..." he murmured, taking a shaky breath and trying to regain his composure. "That’s great, Paul. It’ll be nice for Sinead to have her cousin there."

"Yeah, it will," Paul agreed. He took a sip of his drink then sighed. "Look, Jack...there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about since we got back from Barcelona, but I was scared to bring it up, in case it upset you. But...oh hell, I’m just going to say it. I know that something happened between you and Ennis over there. I saw the way you looked at him as you were leaving the airport...and the way he watched you leave."

Jack stared at Paul. "You...you did? Shit."

"Yeah, I...don’t worry, though. I don’t think the others..."

"Wait...you said...the way he watched you leave?" Jack interrupted, his tone brightening.

Paul nodded slowly. "Yeah. He looked like a kid who’d just been told Santa didn’t exist. Like everything he ever dreamed about had just been snatched away. But Jack...he’s just a boy. Maybe he doesn’t really know what he wants."

"He knows," Jack said with conviction, repeating his words more forcefully when he saw Paul’s uncertain expression. "He knows."

An uncomfortable silence washed over them, both of them sipping their drinks and trying to avoid eye contact. Eventually, Paul took a deep breath and jumped in with both feet, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Jack’s jaw dropped open. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I heard you. But I don’t see that it’s any of your business," Jack snapped.

Paul put a hand on Jack’s arm, a hand that was quickly shrugged off. "I wouldn’t normally ask you something so personal, Jack," he said. "But Ennis needs someone to share a room with at the wedding because he can’t afford to pay full price. You’re the most obvious one to ask, but I don’t want to put either of you in an awkward position."

Jack sat back, the red mist abating as his excitement about seeing Ennis again pushed its way through. "I know," he said with a weary half smile. "Yes, we slept together in Barcelona...more than once. Ennis was a bit freaked out after the first time, but he came back, Paul. He wanted it, just as much as I did, and I don’t think he’ll have a problem sharing with me at the wedding. At least, I hope he won’t."

"Jesus, Jack. I don’t know what to say," Paul frowned. "I’d guessed you’d become more than friends from the way you looked at each other, but it’s still a bit weird, you know? I mean...he’s just a kid, not even eighteen yet. And he’s so mixed up and confused about so many things. How can you be so sure that what happened between you was real?"

"I don’t know," Jack shrugged. "I’ve been asking myself the same question over and over. But he was...different when he was with me, you know? He wasn’t the scared, jumpy kid who flew off the handle at the slightest provocation. He was relaxed and happy and he opened up to me. I mean, there were things he wouldn’t tell me, things he obviously didn’t want to talk about, but I think he spoke more words to me than he’s ever spoken to anyone else. And, believe me, the physical attraction was huge," he finished with a wink.

Paul’s eyes widened. "That was definitely too much information," he laughed. "But seriously, Jack. Ennis has a lot of shit going on in his life. It’s a real struggle for him and K.E. to get by, and I think K.E. has some pretty big problems with drinking and other addictions. You know the story he told us about how K.E. ended up in hospital? Well, it turns out it was a complete lie. Sinead told me K.E. got into a fight with some guys he owes money to and they beat him up."

Jack nodded, his suspicions about Ennis’s story confirmed. He knew there were other things Ennis was holding back, his mind going back to the scars and bruises on Ennis’s body, but it didn’t stop him wanting Ennis. If anything, it made him want the younger man more, a strong desire rising up in him to take Ennis away from the pain and hardship. "I knew he wasn’t telling us the whole truth. But I can see why he didn’t want to blurt that out in front of a bunch of guys he didn’t know."

"Yeah," Paul agreed. "I can see that too. But all I’m saying is...if he can make up stories about one thing then maybe he’s not being completely honest about anything else either. Or maybe he was being honest but he’s had a change of heart since he got home. What if he’s changed his mind about what he wants, with regards to you? What will you do if you’re sharing a room with him and he tells you he doesn’t want anything more than friendship?"

"Then I’ll be his friend," Jack said quietly, looking straight at Paul. "What did you think I’d say? That I’d throw myself at him and rape him? Jesus. I’m gay, Paul, I’m not a sex offender. If Ennis doesn’t want to have an intimate relationship with me then I’ll leave him alone. I could never hurt him. Never."

Paul stared at Jack for a long moment, seeing Jack’s feelings for Ennis written all over his face. Finally, he smiled. "I know. But it’s not just him getting hurt I’m worried about. I know how hard it was for you to deal with what that prick Richard did, and I don’t want you to have to go through that again. I can see in your eyes that this is way more than just physical attraction for you and I wish I shared your confidence about how Ennis feels. Just...just be careful, okay? Don’t go falling head over heels until you know that he wants the same thing."

"Okay," Jack said, Paul’s concern giving him a warm feeling inside. "So, does that mean you’ll ask him if he wants to share a room with me, then?"

Paul nodded. "Yes, I will. But if he has any doubts..."

"I know, I know," Jack cut in with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "It’s his decision and I’ll go along with whatever he wants. I get it."

"Good," Paul grinned. "Promise me one thing, though? If what Ennis wants is to strip you naked in the middle of the wedding reception and have his way with you, you’ll persuade him that some things are best kept private. That’s one image I do not want in my wedding photos!"

No Matter What - Chapter 5

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 06:07:23 GMT

Title: No Matter What - Chapter 5
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack and Ennis, always.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx. I'm just having fun with them.
Warning: This story contains descriptions of child abuse and violence. Sadly, they're a necessary part of the plot and I hope they won't stop you from reading...
Thanks To: My always patient, wonderfully supportive beta smiles_a_lot. Your help and friendship means the world to me.

Author's Note: This chapter is up a little early because I'm going away on Wednesday for just over a week. What that means is that it's highly unlikely there will be a chapter next week...but hey, Jack and Ennis had to wait four years for their reunion so hopefully an extra week won't upset you all too much!

After leaving the hotel, Ennis walked quickly down to the beach then set out along the boardwalk towards the Olympic Port where they’d been drinking the night before, his anger at Jack, at himself, and at life itself fuelling his steps. His current feelings were a far cry from the relaxed, happy state he’d woken in, his body wrapped in the safe cocoon of Jack’s warm embrace. But when he shook off his grogginess and realised where he was, self-loathing and fear spiralled to the surface, images of a figure looming large over him with belt in hand flashing through his panicked brain. He’d pulled back sharply, jumping out of bed and scrabbling for the jeans and shorts he’d discarded on the floor, their very presence there sending another jolt of terror through him as he darted towards the bathroom. He’d only just made it in time to empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

By the time the last waves of sickness had passed and he’d dressed himself and left the room, fear had given way to rage. He was furious at Jack for not telling him that he was gay, for not giving him a chance to stop things before they’d got out of control and, most of all, for not listening when he’d said he wasn’t queer. Jack had goaded him into action, stripping naked and presenting himself like that, that perfect backside open and ready for him, taking advantage of Ennis’s youth and vulnerability to get what he wanted. His mind refused to consider any culpability on his part so when Jack had come into the breakfast room, looking cheerful and acting all friendly, he’d hit out, letting the blame fall squarely on Jack’s shoulders.

But as he walked, replaying the night in his mind, he began to see that he was just as much at fault as Jack was. He hated himself for not being stronger, for not pushing Jack away. He loathed himself for wanting what Jack had offered, for coming so hard and fast when Jack had drawn a finger up his dick and for being all too eager to sink himself into Jack’s welcoming heat when the opportunity had arisen. But, most of all, he despised himself for wanting to do it all over again, his dick already stirring at the thought.

He kept walking, all the way to the end of the boardwalk then further still, onto the sand, his tennis shoes slung over his shoulder, their laces tied together. He drifted down towards the sea, dipping his toes in the warm Mediterranean water as he walked, way beyond the crowds of holidaymakers, out past the city limits, eventually stopping when the sand gave way to rocks and he could go no further. His anger had all but disappeared, replaced by confusion and doubt, as he dropped his shoes to the sand and sat down, his eyes drawn to the horizon where the blues of sea and sky joined together. He couldn’t help but think of Jack’s eyes as he took in the depth and clarity of the colour.

He drew his knees up to his chest, folding his arms over them then lowering his chin until it rested on his arms. Sighing, he contemplated the power that Jack had over him, even after just two days. The physical urges he felt were nothing new, nothing he hadn’t already allowed to run free in the privacy of his bedroom, only his laptop and hand for company. Ever since that night long ago, when he’d accidentally clicked an internet link and discovered that the male body turned him on far more than any of the pictures in the magazines he’d found under K.E.’s bed ever had, he’d known he was different. But he’d always kept it hidden, buried deep down inside, denying it to himself in order to reduce the risk of the mask slipping in front of his brother. He hadn’t even been certain it was still there...thinking that maybe his body’s reaction to the videos was just his teenage hormones working overtime. But then he’d met Jack.

The attraction had been instantaneous, Jack’s blue eyes and easy smile lighting a flame inside him that threatened to become a full scale fire every time Jack looked his way. But it was the way Jack provided support when the others had teased him then spent a day listening to him and sharing hard truths with him that had pushed the warmth from his groin to other parts, leaving him floundering in uncertainty. He’d never had much affection in his life. He knew that his parents had loved him, but they hadn’t been inclined to show that love with anything more than a rough hug or a ruffle of his hair, and he was pretty sure his brother had never loved him, his arrival disturbing K.E.’s teenage years and restricting his freedom. So when Jack had looked at him with such tenderness after their encounter in the bathroom his natural reaction had been to look away. And when Jack’s arms had felt so comfortable and safe that morning in bed his head told him to run away, as fast as he could.

Closing his eyes, he stretched out on the sand, doubts still gnawing at his brain. Despite his initial fear when Jack had got down on all fours on the bed, he hadn’t needed an instruction manual to show him what to do. The technical details had been covered by endless hours on the internet, but once he’d been inside Jack, instinct had taken over, coupled with an intense desire to make Jack feel good. It was this fact that worried him most because it turned their coupling into more than just a means to get off. He’d wanted to touch Jack’s body, to give the older man pleasure, inside and out. He’d needed to hear Jack moan with satisfaction as he dragged his dick across Jack’s prostate. And he’d loved it when Jack had pushed back, forcing his dick ever deeper until their balls had bumped together. But Jack had admitted that he was gay...so what did that say about him?

He’d been brought up believing that homosexuality was a sin. He didn’t remember his parents ever talking about it but the church certainly had, and he’d always been good and gone to church, even after his folks were gone and K.E. had preferred to spend Sundays drinking. And he could definitely never forget that time he overheard his brother joking and laughing with some friends...back when K.E. still had friends...about the young gay man they’d left broken and bleeding in a quiet side street after they’d seen him kissing another man goodbye. That night, K.E. had left him in no doubt about what he’d do if he ever found out his younger brother was that way, giving him a little taster just to be sure the point had been made. Once K.E. left his room, he’d cleaned up his split lip, locked his door and logged back into his laptop to put passwords on every one of his personal files.

It was never mentioned again but K.E. treated him differently after that night, reacting ever more harshly to any sign of weakness, any sign of him being less than a man should be, paying no mind to his tender years. With self preservation in mind, he shoved his thoughts and desires deep down inside, hoping they would fade with time. But the feelings never went away and he began to suspect they never would. He knew there was no way he could ever have a proper, long term relationship with a man because K.E. would kill them both, but he was a long way from home and the idea of spending the rest of the weekend alone suddenly lost its appeal.

Scrambling to his feet, he started the long walk back to Jack and a few more hours of happiness, the like of which he hadn’t known since before his parents’ deaths. He only hoped that Jack would give him another chance.

***

When Ennis finally got back to the hotel he hurried up the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator. He’d taken a wrong turning somewhere on the way back and he’d wandered the streets of Barcelona for several hours, no money in his pocket to get a metro or bus. He eventually got his bearings and found his way back to the beach, arriving at the bar about an hour after Jack had gone back to their room. After putting up with the drunken abuse of the rest of the guys for a few minutes, hearing their thoughts on how much of an arse he’d been and how angry and worried Jack had been, he’d left them to it, his nerves jangling as he approached the hotel. Pushing open the door that Jack had left unlocked, he steeled himself for Jack’s fury.

Jack jumped to his feet as Ennis entered the room, his eyes blazing. "Where the fuck have you been?" he fumed. "You’ve been gone all day and I’ve been worried sick. Thought you’d jumped off a cliff and fucking drowned or...or thrown yourself in front of a bus or something!"

Ennis held his hands up in a gesture of peace, his brown eyes filling with tears. "I’m sorry," he whispered.

"So you fucking should be! I really thought something awful had happened. I was about to call the cops and..." Jack’s voice tailed off as he took in Ennis’s heartbroken expression, his anger fading fast. He dropped his hands to his sides and took a breath. "Oh, jeez, Ennis. It’s alright. Come here." Pulling Ennis into a tender embrace, he stroked his hands up and down the younger man’s back.

"I’m sorry," Ennis whispered again.

Jack nodded against Ennis’s face. "It’s alright. I’m sorry for yelling. It’s just...I was so worried about you, about how you were feeling after last night. I know how frightening it can be the first time you...well, you know." He drew back slightly, pressing one hand against Ennis’s cheek and wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. Gazing into Ennis’s eyes, he suddenly understood that Ennis wasn’t just apologizing for being gone so long. Instead, he was saying sorry for running away at all, asking Jack to forgive him and give him another chance. Jack’s lips curled upwards in a smile as he took Ennis’s hand and gently led him towards the bed. "Come here," he murmured.

Once they were sitting on the bed, Jack put both hands onto Ennis’s face, holding his head steady as he pulled him forward, both pairs of eyes drifting shut as their lips met. Their first kiss was chaste but as they parted a thin line of saliva still connected them, drawing them back together for something more, mouths opening in unison. As they kissed, Jack helped Ennis lie down, one arm under Ennis’s head, the other rubbing Ennis’s arm. In turn, Ennis caressed Jack’s bare chest, his innocent fingers brushing a nipple, causing Jack to shiver. Then Ennis moved his arm across Jack, his hand coming to rest on Jack’s side, fingers curling and tugging Jack over. As Ennis stretched out on his back, Jack rolled over on top of him, lining their bodies up from head to toe, mouths crashing together once more.

After several moments of heated kisses, tongues tentatively seeking and gaining entry, Jack reached down to pull Ennis’s t-shirt up, wanting to feel Ennis’s skin against his, but Ennis caught his arms.

"No...wait," he stammered, wriggling out from under Jack. He slid off of the bed and padded across to the light switch, flicking it upwards and plunging the room into near darkness. He came back to the bed and took Jack’s hands, placing them on the hem of his t-shirt and raising his arms above his head, a silent invitation that Jack eagerly accepted. The rest of their clothes followed until, finally, Ennis fell back onto the bed and pressed his naked body up against Jack’s, bringing their lips together again.

They lay that way for a while, sharing soft kisses and light caresses, legs and arms twining round each other. As they held each other, their dicks rubbed lazily, the sensation causing them both to moan, their hunger building. Eventually, when he could stand it no longer, Ennis nudged Jack.

"Turn over," he murmured.

Jack shook his head. "No, I...I’m a bit sore down there after last night." Hearing Ennis’s sharp intake of breath, he quickly moved to reassure the younger man. "Hey, it’s okay. It would just be a bit uncomfortable to do that again right now. There are other things we can do, though. Here, get up on your knees...yeah, facing me, that’s right." He mirrored Ennis’s position, getting as close to Ennis as he could, then reached between them and brought their dicks together.

Ennis gasped. "Oh fuck, Jack."

"Yeah, feels good, doesn’t it?" Jack whispered, starting a slow, steady stroke.

"Oh god, yeah. Yeah, it does."

Jack took Ennis’s hand and pushed it between their bodies. "Help me," he murmured, letting out a low whimper as he felt Ennis’s hand link with his, encircling both dicks. Jack moved their hands up and down slowly, smiling when Ennis picked up the rhythm. "Oh yeah, Ennis, that’s it...just like that." He stroked his thumb over both weeping heads, spreading the slick he found there down their shafts, then moved his other hand around Ennis to squeeze his bottom, pulling them even tighter together.

Ennis let out a moan which Jack immediately kissed away, his tongue snaking out to lick Ennis’s lips. Between them, the pace of their hands increased, their breaths quickening in time with their strokes. Ennis tangled his free hand into Jack’s hair, holding on tight as the pressure built, crying out as his climax hit him like a runaway train. Jack followed him over the edge, their seed combining on their hands and dicks as Jack sighed his release into Ennis’s mouth.

Almost ten minutes passed before Ennis found his voice. "Jesus," he whispered, his eyes filled with wonder as he gazed at Jack’s flushed face.

Jack eased them down onto the bed and reached for his towel, wiping them both clean then wrapping his arms round Ennis. "Yeah," he replied, kissing Ennis’s lips lightly.

"Is it...is it always like that?" Ennis asked.

Jack smiled into Ennis’s hair. "It can be, with the right person." He paused, unsure of how much to say, but then took a breath and continued. "It’s never been like that for me before."

Ennis studied him carefully, a frown forming on his brow. "Jack, I...this..." He waved his hand between them. "It’s a one shot thing. I have to go home soon and we can’t..."

"Shhh," Jack said, pressing a finger to Ennis’s lips. "We don’t need to think about that just now. Let’s just enjoy it, okay?"

Ennis continued to look uncertain but he nodded. "Okay. But we can’t tell anyone. If K.E. was to find out he’d..."

Jack kissed him, cutting off the rest of his sentence. "It’s nobody’s business but ours," he said softly. He shifted round till Ennis’s head was resting on his chest, his arm round Ennis’s shoulders. "Let’s get some sleep," he murmured.

Ennis sighed but burrowed closer into Jack’s body and before long Jack’s steady breathing lulled him into a deep sleep.

***

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, Jack woke with a desperate need to use the toilet. In sleep, Ennis had rolled away from him so he was free to get out of bed and head for the bathroom without waking Ennis. On his return he stopped short of the bed, entranced by the sight before him. Ennis had kicked the sheet away and he lay on his stomach, his legs slightly apart, moonlight illuminating his naked body. Jack sucked in a breath, blood rushing south as he ran his eyes up Ennis’s legs to the younger man’s bottom, the spread of Ennis’s legs affording him a glimpse of heaven between the firm globes. As he looked, a small blemish on Ennis’s right buttock caught his eye and he stepped closer to get a better view, hoping that he hadn’t been too rough and left marks on Ennis’s skin. He knelt on the edge of the bed next to Ennis and froze.

The mark was much bigger than his fingers, faded around the edges but still deep red in the centre. It was roughly rectangular in shape...although only three sides could really be seen...and it was surrounded by several others of approximately the same size and shape, as well as around a dozen straight line welts, some almost completely faded, the others clear and angry. Numerous other scars, of varying vintages, crisscrossed Ennis’s back and shoulders. A series of tiny, circular blotches marked the back of one arm, high up where they wouldn’t normally be seen. Cigarette burns, Jack realised in horror. Just below them, a large bruise encircled Ennis’s arm, the outline of fingers still visible. Jesus Christ, someone held on to his arm while they burned him

Jack closed his eyes, fighting back tears. When he opened them again he looked back down Ennis’s torso, picking out a number of pale bruises and then, low down on Ennis’s back, a much larger, much more recent one, its blues, blacks and purples in stark contrast to Ennis’s pale skin. Jack’s loud gasp caused Ennis to stir, but he soon settled back into the pillows without ever opening his eyes and Jack eased himself off the bed, relieved that he didn’t have to speak to Ennis, not trusting his voice not to betray his emotions. He wished that he could find the courage to wake Ennis up, to ask him who had done this, to encourage him to talk about it and to offer help and support. But if he knew one thing for certain about Ennis, it was that the younger man was nowhere near ready to talk about something this personal with someone he’d known for less than three days, however intimate their relationship had become. And, if he was being completely honest, he wasn’t sure he was ready to ask.

Taking several long, calming breaths, he climbed back into bed beside Ennis and gathered the younger man into his arms. Holding Ennis’s warm body close, he pressed his lips up against Ennis’s ear. "I don’t know who did this to you, but I’ll never hurt you, Ennis, I swear," he breathed.

***

A few hours later, Jack woke to the sun streaming in the window and Ennis sitting cross-legged on the bed watching him. Ennis had put his t-shirt and boxers back on, hiding the scars once more, clearly unaware of what Jack had seen in the middle of the night. Jack smiled and was rewarded with a wide beam in return.

"Morning," Ennis said, leaning over for a kiss.

Jack pushed his tongue into Ennis’s mouth. "G’mrnig," he mumbled through the kiss, one hand threading through Ennis’s curls as he gave Ennis’s mouth a thorough workout.

Ennis pulled back. "Jesus," he whispered. "You’re getting me all riled up again."

"Is that a bad thing?" Jack chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

Ennis shook his head. "No...but we’ve got to meet the guys in twenty minutes to get taxis to the airport."

Jack regarded him for a moment then threw himself at Ennis, pinning the younger man to the bed. "Then we better be quick," he growled, grabbing a condom and the lube from the bedside table before hauling Ennis’s boxers down his legs and straddling him.

***

By the time their plane touched down on home soil, all eight of the guys were worn out and desperate to get home to catch up on some sleep. They’d spent every last second of their time in Barcelona airport at the bar, the beer and sangria flowing, and they’d continued drinking throughout the flight, something each of them was regretting now as they trudged wearily through the terminal, bound for taxis or lifts home. As they passed through customs, Paul looked over at Ennis who was walking shoulder to shoulder with Jack.

"Ennis, Sinead is coming to pick me up so you can get a lift with us, if you want," he said.

Ennis glanced sideways at Jack then nodded. "That would be good, thanks."

Rob turned to Jack. "David, Scotty and I are going to share a cab. Paul says your flat isn’t too far from mine, so you’re welcome to join us."

"Thanks," Jack smiled. "I’ll be with you in a minute." He turned back to Ennis, catching his arm and pulling him to the side. "I’ll see you at the wedding, right?" he asked.

Ennis shrugged, looking at the floor. "I don’t know, Jack. Like I said, I’ll have to go home...once K.E. gets out of hospital, probably. I doubt I’ll be able to come back so soon." He scuffed his shoes on the tile floor, just as he’d done when they’d first met.

Jack sighed, wanting to say so much but knowing this wasn’t the time. He reached out and took Ennis’s hand, shaking it briskly, the handshake hiding his gentle caress of Ennis’s palm. "I guess I’ll see you around, then," he murmured, gazing deep into Ennis’s eyes before letting go of the younger man’s hand and following Rob and the others out of the terminal building. Before he climbed into the taxi, he threw an unhappy glance back over his shoulder at Ennis, unaware another pair of eyes had seen his reluctant goodbye.